


Half Of My Heart

by imtrikru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: A little pain, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Clexa, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Bean Lexa, Growing Up Together, Jake don't die, Jealousy, Like really slow, Oblivious Clarke, Romance, Slow Burn, but there's drama of course
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-01-07 05:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12226272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imtrikru/pseuds/imtrikru
Summary: The story of how Clarke and Lexa grow up together during the years. Since they met at kindergarten until they're both adults.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a story I had in mind for a very long time. I wrote this chapter in two days. 
> 
> It's a very dear story to me.

They met when they only had 5. When they accidentally ran into each other on the playground. Lexa knocked out Clarke. The blonde fell on her butt and the box of juice she had on her hand fell too, and spilled out the content onto the floor.

Clarke pouted sadly, her lower lip trembled feeling tears in her eyes. Then she saw Lexa kneeling and offering her box of juice with a toothless grin. Clarke eyed the girl with curiosity and took the juice from the brunette's hand. Lexa helped her to stand.

"Are you a princess?" Lexa asked curiously.

Clarke gazed at the brunette "No. Why you say that?"

Lexa pointed at the crown on the blonde's head "You are a princess" she said as a matter of fact.

That silly plastic princess crown Clarke had put on her head the first day at kindergarten.

Clarke shook her head, growing furious "I'm not"

Lexa smiled again "You look like an angel" she said in awe.

Clarke pouted "How angels looks like?" she was confused.

"I don't know" Lexa shrugged "But you look like one"

Both girls observed each other for a moment.

Lexa just grinned and extended her hand "I'm Lexa"

Clarke did the same "I'm Clarke"

 

~~~

 

They were each other first kiss. Even if they didn't know what was that or what it meant.

It was christmas. And Clarke's and Lexa's parents were having a dinner together. Since their daughters became best friends, they became friends too.

Lexa slept on Clarke's house one weekend and Clarke in Lexa's the other.

They were 6. And they ate enough sweets and chocolate to cause a stomach pain to anyone . They were holding hands when they stopped under the mistletoe. 

Lexa's father told them that the tradition said you should kiss the one who's with you under the mistletoe.

Lexa shrugged and kissed Clarke. A chaste, innocent peck on the lips. They both smiled and returned to their games on the kitchen, didn't understanding they were each other first kiss.

 

~~~

 

"Come on, Clarke!" Lexa called with a bright smile "You're so slow!"

Clarke panted, trying to regain her breath after running behind Lexa and up that stupid mountain.

"It's not fair" the blonde complained "Your legs are longer than mine and you're faster"

Lexa laughed amused. She pointed at the big tree in front of her "See? I'm gonna climb it" she announced proudly.

Clarke frowned afraid "No, Lexa" she said to her friend "You could fall"

Lexa was a little taller than Clarke. With wild curly brown hair tied up in a ponytail and expressive big green eyes. Clarke was a few inches shorter than her friend. Her wavy blonde hair was loose and reached her shoulders. She had bright blue eyes.They were only 8, and they had been friends since they could remember. 

They were inseparable.

"Fall?" Lexa scoffed "Watch me, Griffin" she began to walk to the tree.

"Don't do it, Lexa" Clarke ran after her "And don't call me Griffin" she pouted seriously crossing her arms over her chest. She hated when Lexa called her that way. The brunette said it was because when her father was on the army the higher officials always refered to the rest using their last name. Clarke pouted and protested saying she wasn't a soldier and never wanted to be in the army.

Lexa just grinned and kissed Clarke on the cheek. She smiled brightly at the blonde "A good luck kiss" she declared making Clarke to roll her eyes. 

Lexa turned around and hopped easily to the nearest branch. She looked back at Clarke from over her shoulder. The blonde was not amused. To be honest, she was scared. Scared that Lexa could hurt herself.

"I wonder what it feels to be up there" Lexa said looking up the big tree.

"Really cold, I bet" Clarke said behind her "Can you just climb down, please?"

Lexa looked back at the blonde over her shoulder again and grinned. She began to climb to another branch with agility. Clarke just shook her head. Lexa was always adventurous and fearless.

"I gonna reach the top" Lexa annouced biting her lip and jumping to another branch.

"Lexa no" Clarke warned with concern.

But the brunette was very focused at the task at hand, with her eyes looking up to the tree. They heard the crack of the branch before even knowing what was happening. Clarke screamed under the tree before Lexa fell down hiting her face with a big branch and landing on the grass with a loud thud.

"Lexa!" Clarke screamed running and kneeling by her friend's side.

Lexa grunted softly. She landed with her face down to the grass.

"Lexa!" Clarke called her again "Lexa, are you ok? Are you hurt?"

Lexa turned around and sat over the grass. She felt a sticky, warm liquid on her left eye and cheek. She wrinkled her nose with another grunt.

"Oh my God!" Clarke was pale "You're bleeding!"

Lexa raised a hand to her left eyebrow and noticed the blood spilling out.

"Come on" Clarke said pulling the brunette to her feet "You need to go to the hospital"

Lexa felt dizzy and closed her left eye, feeling it itching and burning with the blood coming from her broken eyebrow. 

"Silly" Clarke scolded the brunette "Why are you always doing these things?"

Lexa gazed at her friend. Her face was serious and worried, her blue eyes clouded with fear. The brunette just shrugged, like if that explained everything.

It was Abby, Clarke's mom and doctor on the hospital, who put stitches on Lexa's eyebrow, while scolding her. Then called her parents, who scolded her more. Lexa just pouted and lowered her gaze while her parents gave her a talk about how dangerous was what she had done. But Clarke held her hand all the way through.

Lexa was still pouting when Clarke sat by her side minutes later and gave her a can of soda. Lexa looked at the blonde who smiled softly at her. Lexa took the can and drank with Clarke, while they talked lively like if nothing happened.

Lexa tried to wag her injured eyebrow. But with the stitches and the band aid it was almost impossible. She grazed the band aid with her fingertips softly.

"I'm gonna have a scar" Lexa said suddenly.

Clarke nodded "Yeah, I think so"

Lexa grinned "Cool"

Clarke laughed and Lexa joined her.

 

~~~

 

When Abby removed Lexa's stitches some weeks later, the brunette waggled her eyebrow trying to test the feeling.

"How does it feel?" Clarke asked curiously.

They were sitting on the waiting lounge at the hospital, waiting for Lexa's parents. The two families were going to eat in a pizzeria that night.

"Is weird" Lexa replied grazing the eyebrow with her fingertips.

"Can I?" Clarke asked unsure.

Lexa nodded. When Clarke brushed her fingers over the scar, Lexa flinched and whimpered.

"Oh My God, Lexa" Clarke apologized afraid "I'm sorry"

Lexa began to giggle and Clarke frowned. When Lexa put her hand over her mouth to suffle her laugh, Clarke glared at her seriously.

"Idiot" the blonde scolded "I thought I hurt you"

Lexa shook her head with a grin "I'm fine, Clarke. I was just joking"

The blonde pouted and crossed her arms over her chest turning away from the brunette. Lexa put a hand over Clarke's knee softly, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry, ok?" the brunette declared.

Clarke gazed back at Lexa. Her green eyes were honest.

"You're a fool" Clarke said smiling a little.

Lexa smirked and grabbed Clarke's left hand, guiding it to her eyebrow "It doesn't hurt, I promise"

Clarke traced the scar on the eyebrow with curiosity and gentleness "Did it hurt when my mom took the stitches away?"

Lexa shook her head "No"

Clarke smiled "I think you're really brave"

Lexa smiled back "Really?"

Clarke nodded and traced the scar again "Yeah. I would have cry"

Lexa grabbed the blonde's other hand. The one that wasn't tracing her eyebrow "I would have hold your hand, Clarke" she said "That way you would have feel better"

Clarke smiled brightly and continued tracing the scar.

"Is a cool scar?" Lexa asked.

Clarke chuckled "I think so" she moved forward and pressed a soft kiss on the brunette's eyebrow.

Lexa returned the kiss pressing her lips to the blonde's cheek sweetly.

 

~~~

 

On Clarke's 10th birthday, Lexa gave her a very special gift. It was a golden heart divided in two halfs. Each half also had a golden string.

"One for you and one for me" Lexa said smiling at the blonde "So that way we'll be friends forever"

Clarke smiled brightly at the brunette's words and gift. She hugged her friend tightly.

"Thank you, Lexa" Clarke said pulling back "I love it"

A few months earlier Clarke gave Lexa a big stuffed monkey for her birthday. She told her the monkey was a little like her. Always climbing and infinity curious. Lexa laughed loudly and hugged the stuffed monkey fondly. She kissed Clarke on the cheek and Clarke kissed her too, before moving her lips to the scar on the brunette's eyebrow.

"Let's put it on" Clarke announced taking her half of the golden heart.

Lexa helped the blonde to clasp the lock and Clarke did the same with her. Lexa grinned at Clarke and Clarke did the same.

They ate the cake while holding hands under the table.

 

~~~

 

Clarke was feeling sullen one spring. Everybody kept talking about traveling here and there for the upcoming summer holidays. And she was always stuck there, on her boring small town.

Lexa found the blonde sitting on the carpet on her bedroom. That night both families were dinning together, but Clarke didn't look very happy.

They were 11.

"Clarke" Lexa said softly, walking to her friend "What are you doing?"

"I want to travel, Lexa" the blonde said sighing.

"Where?" Lexa asked sitting in front of Clarke.

The blonde shrugged "I don't know. Somewhere. Don't you want to travel somewhere?"

"We traveled to the mountains last summer" the brunette reminded the blonde.

Clarke shook her head "No. I mean to travel travel, you know? In an airplane" she pouted.

Lexa observed Clarke. The blonde really wanted to travel and Lexa made a decision. She knelt putting her hands on her thighs.

"Where do you want to go, Clarke?" Lexa asked the upset blonde "I'll take you"

Clarke smiled at the brunette "Hawaii" she said excited "I want to go to Hawaii, Lexa"

The brunette nodded "Ok. Hawaii then" she took the blonde's hands in her own "I'll take you to Hawaii when we grow up"

"You promise?" Clarke asked smiling brightly.

"I promise" Lexa vowed.

Clarke hugged the brunette and kissed her cheek.

 

~~~

 

Lexa spat the water from her mouth. She looked behind her.

"You're so slow, Clarke" she said with a cocky smile.

"You just cheated" Clarke replied swimming closer to her friend.

They were on the pool on Clarke's back garden. It was summer and they were enjoying swimming together. 

They were 12.

"I did not" Lexa protested.

Clarke rolled her eyes unamused "Please, you started swimming before I even reached 3"

Lexa raised her eyebrow. The one she broke 4 years before.

"You can't prove anything, Griffin" Lexa said smugly.

Clarke could strangle her. She cheated and now was using her last name to provoke her.

"Don't call me Griffin" the blonde warned, narrowing her blue eyes.

Lexa raised her eyebrow again "Or what?" she was teasing Clarke. She always enjoyed teasing Clarke.

Clarke tried to catch the brunette, but she swam backwards easily.

"Always so slow" Lexa teased "Griffin"

Clarke growled and swam after Lexa, who was swimming and giggling, making Clarke more furious.

Clarke bit her lips and reached Lexa. The blonde jumped over the brunette's back and wrapped her arms around her neck from behind.

"Gotcha!" Clarke announced happily.

Lexa grunted and Clarke helped her to turn around, so they were facing each other.

"So what you have to say now, big mouth?" Clarke said with a conceited expression.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the blonde. 

Clarke had her hands on Lexa's tanned shoulders, and the brunette was resting her hands on the blonde's sides. 

It was normal between them. They were always affectionate with each other. They had sleep together hundred of times, snuggling, pressed against the other, almost like they were inseparable.

"Rematch" Lexa said seriously, almost making Clarke laugh.

"Ok" Clarke shrugged with a grin.

They disentangled from each other and swam to the end of the pool.

"No cheating this time, Lexa" Clarke warned glaring at the brunette.

"Cheating?" Lexa said innocently "Me?"

Clarke rolled her eyes but smirked. They were ready to start when Abby and Jake, Clarke's parents, appeared on the garden with serious, broken-down faces.

The girls forgot their little competition.

"Lexa" Jake began with thick, shaky voice. His eyes were puffy and red, same as Abby's "I'm so sorry, dear"

Clarke held Lexa's hand during her parents' funeral, never leaving her side. Lexa's green eyes were empty and sad. It was like she was just a shell. She didn't cry or talk during the whole day. She didn't even look at Clarke. Her eyes were fixed on her parents graves.

That night, Lexa stayed with Clarke while Anya, Lexa's older sister, began the move to their uncle's house. Uncle Gustus was a lovely man, and he was the one who would take care of his nieces, since they didn't have more family.

Lexa was still silent and Clarke was growing more and more worried. Her parents told her to be patient. After such a tragedy Lexa needed some time.

The girls laid down on Clarke's bed facing each other. It was the first time Lexa looked at the blonde that day and Clarke felt a short relief. She traced the brunette's scar on the eyebrow sweetly and Lexa closed her eyes. 

Tears began to fall down her cheeks and Clarke felt her heart breaking at the sight. Lexa snuggled closer with a broken sob and Clarke hugged her tightly against her. The brunette buried her face into the blonde's neck as she sobbed. 

Clarke cried with her.

They fell asleep hours later, still embraced.

 

~~~

 

The first night at uncle Gustus's house, he made cheese burger for dinner. Lexa's favorite food. Clarke was there. That weekend they were going to sleep on Lexa's house. Her new house.

Gustus was a sweet, caring man despite his huge height, big muscles and dark bear. He always lifted Lexa in his arms and kissed her on both cheeks before going to school. And even kissed Anya before going to highschool, making her to roll her eyes and complain.

Lying on Lexa's new bed, the girls pointed a couple of flashlights to the dark ceiling. Making forms with her hands.

"What do you think it happens when you die?" Lexa asked quietly.

Clarke shrugged "I don't know. My parents says the good people go to heaven"

Lexa pondered the blonde's answer for a moment, biting her lip.

"Do you think my parents are in heaven?" Lexa finally asked.

Clarke laid on her side to look at the brunette's profile "Yes" she said honestly "They were good people"

Lexa nodded slightly, still looking at the ceiling. She sighed.

Clarke snuggled closer to the brunette and rested her head on her shoulder. Lexa put her cheek on Clarke's forehead. And they fell asleep like that.

 

~~~

 

When they were 13, Clarke was paired with Wells Jaha for biology class. Lexa observed how Clarke smiled at the boy from her table. The boy made her laugh and put his hand over the blonde's shoulder.

Lexa didn't understand why she was feeling so upset at that, but she was. She really was.

She narrowed her eyes at the scene and then focused on her work. Finn Collins was her partner. They boy was insufferable in Lexa's opinion.

He tried to put his hand on her leg. The brunette twisted his arm so hard that the boy ended wailing loudly and with tears in his eyes. She had to apologize to him when the teacher scolded her, but that didn't mean she liked Finn any little.

Even Clarke scolded her at lunch. The blonde told her she should be more nice with the boys, otherwise no one would ever be interested in her.

Lexa felt a surge of rage at the blonde's words.

"So what?" she spat at Clarke "I don't care about boys! I don't care about what they think of me!"

When Clarke found her sitting on the girls bathroom floor, she was teary eyed. She didn't know why she was feeling that way. Why the boys didn't appeal her at all. Why she didn't find them cute or nice. Why she wasn't attracted to them. It was all very confusing.

"Lexa" Clarke said softly getting closer to the broody brunette.

Lexa raised her eyes to the blonde and lowered them again sniffling. She felt so bad for speaking to Clarke like that. She was really regretful.

Clarke knelt beside Lexa and caressed her long curly hair gently "Lexa" she tried again "What's wrong? Why are you acting like this?"

Lexa wiped away her tears furiously. Hating to feel so weak.

"I don't know" she answered shrugging a little.

Clarke sighed "It's because of Finn?"

Lexa pouted "I hate him" she said honestly.

Clarke chuckled softly "Why?"

Lexa just shrugged. And Clarke sat by her side. Their shoulders touching.

"I'm sorry, Clarke" Lexa apologized "I shouldn't have talk to you like that. I'm really sorry"

Clarke smirked softly "I know" she soothed the brunette, pushing away her brown hair from her face and kissing her cheek sweetly.

"You like Wells?" Lexa asked afraid of the answer.

Clarke stared at Lexa with a frown "Why you ask that?"

Lexa clenched her jaw and put her legs against her chest, her arms wrapped around them "You seem to like him. And maybe you like him more than you like me"

Clarke observed Lexa. Her lovely profile, the cute pout on her face, her puffy green eyes, the scar on her eyebrow. The blonde smiled shaking her head.

"You're so silly" Clarke declared gently "You're my best friend. And you'll always be, Lexa"

Lexa gazed at Clarke. She lowered her gaze, somehow ashamed. She knew she was being childish.

Clarke cupped the brunette's face and brought back her gaze to her. She took off the half golden heart from inside her sweater.

"See this?" she asked softly "Forever, remember?"

Lexa swallowed and nodded. She had the other half hanging on her neck "Forever" she echoed.

Clarke grinned before hugging Lexa. The brunette hugged the blonde back and sighed into her neck.

 

~~~

 

That same night they ate dinner at Clarke's house. 

The blonde was helping her mother on the kitchen while Lexa observed her sitting with her chin resting on her hand.

"Lexa, honey" Abby said "Don't you want to learn how to cook?"

Lexa smirked and shook her head "Nah. Clarke can cook for me when we grow up" she teased.

The blonde stuck out her tongue to the brunette and Lexa giggled. 

Abby tilted her head with a half smile "Come, Lexa" she said "Help me cut these carrots"

The brunette obeyed gladly and took the knife. She began to cut the carrots.

Clarke got closer to Lexa with the spoon on her hand "Taste this" she offered.

Lexa tasted the sauce and nodded licking her lips "Is really good"

"Yeah?" Clarke asked not sure if Lexa was teasing her or not.

Lexa nodded again "It is, Clarke. I swear"

Clarke smiled happily.

 

~~~

 

Lexa rolled her eyes as Clarke's eyes grew watery at the stupid rom-com they were watching. They were 14 and Clarke was already getting mushy about love and romance. Lexa couldn't care less about boys and dates.

"You're such a sap, Clarke" Lexa said shaking her head and eating a handful of popcorn.

Both were on the couch on the Griffin's living room. Just spending time together, watching movies and eating junk food.

Clarke glared at Lexa and snorted "You're the less romantic person on earth, Lexa, I swear"

Lexa shrugged "How is that a bad thing?"

Clarke changed her position on the couch, so she was facing Lexa's profile "Don't you think about the boy of your dreams sometimes?" she asked smiling.

Lexa felt the urge to roll her eyes again. Instead she faced Clarke. Of course she didn't do such a thing. She couldn't care less about boys. They were all stupid.

"There's a boy I like" Clarke confessed almost blushing.

Lexa frowned. She didn't like that. She felt a strange sensation, a pang inside her chest.

"Who?" the brunette asked.

Clarke bit her lip "Finn Collins"

Lexa's frown grew "Finn Collins?" she asked in disbelief "He's an idiot"

"He's not" Clarke protested.

"He is, Clarke" Lexa said "I could kick his stupid ass"

Clarke crossed her arms over chest offended "That's because you're insanely strong for your age, Lexa. He's really sweet"

Lexa rolled her eyes "I can't believe you like him" she said somehow disappointed.

"Well, I do" Clarke replied angry "Get used to it" she returned her eyes to the tv, crossing her arms over her chest with a serious face.

Lexa chastised herself for hurting Clarke. It was very clear the blonde liked that stupid boy. Lexa didn't even knew why that bothered her so much.

"I'm sorry, Clarke" the brunette apologized.

Clarke gazed at Lexa. She knew she was being honest. Her green eyes always spoke for her.

"Forgive me, please" Lexa added.

Clarke smirked and shook her head. She hugged Lexa.

"You're so silly" she murmured against the brunette's cheek before kissing it.

"I know" Lexa replied pouting.

Clarke giggled and traced the scar on the brunette's eyebrow. They settled again to watch another movie. Clarke rested her head on Lexa's shoulder and the brunette pressed her cheek over the blonde's head wishing they could stay always like that. No boys, no dates, no romances. Just the two of them.

 

~~~

 

"Come on, Lexa" Clarke urged her friend before laughing.

"I told you I will not dance" Lexa growled sitting on the couch.

"Please, Lexa" Clarke pouted adorably "Pretty please"

Lexa growled again and rose from the couch. She hated how much power Clarke had over her. She was completely whipped and she was sure the blonde knew it and used it as much as she wanted.

They were 15 and Clarke couldn't wait to teach Lexa how to dance. The brunette didn't like dancing. She prefered sports and things like that.

Lexa sighed defeated and Clarke put on the stereo over the table. The music began and the blonde danced at the rhythm, while trying to teach Lexa.

Clarke laughed at her friend "You're really bad" she said amused.

"I've told you" Lexa replied trying to sit again. But Clarke grabbed her hands and guided her again.

The song ended and a ballad started. 

_I was her she was me_

_We were one, we were free_

_And if there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

Lexa frowned at Clarke, but the blonde put the brunette's hands on her waist, while she rested hers on Lexa's shoulders.

"That's better" Clarke said with a grin "A slow song is better for your two left feet" she laughed.

Lexa rolled her eyes "Whatever" she muttered as she and Clarke swayed with the music.

_We were young, we were wrong_

_We were fine all along_

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

Lexa licked her lips and gazed at Clarke "Why aren't you doing this with Finn?" 

Clarke shurgged "We're not dating, Lexa" she reminded the brunette "And I love how you dance" she ended with a small laugh.

Lexa smirked. Clarke wasn't dating Finn Collins. At least not yet. The blonde still had a crush on the boy and blushed everytime he talked or smiled at her. Lexa hated him more than she thought.

_When you get to where you wanna go_

_And you know the things you wanna know_

_You're smiling_

_When you said what you wanna say_

_And you know the way you wanna play_

_You'll be so high you'll be flying_

"Now swirl me" Clarke instructed.

"What?" Lexa asked arching her eyebrows.

Clarke chuckled "Swirl me. Come on"

Lexa bit her lower lip and did as the blonde told her. Clarke swirled and smiled. Lexa couldn't help but smile too.

_Though the sea will be strong_

_I know we'll carry on_

_Cos if there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

"I'm gonna make a dancer out of you, Lexa" Clarke declared proudly.

"Whatever you say, Griffin" Lexa smirked mischievously, knowing how much the blonde hated when she used her last name.

"Don't call me Griffin" Clarke growled.

Lexa laughed and swirled her again. This time they stumbled and fell on the couch laughing, facing each other.

_If there's somebody calling me on_

_She's the one_

_She's the one_

"I hate you" Clarke said. But the smile on her face and the gleam in her blue eyes betrayed her.

Lexa smirked again. She wrapped her arm around the blonde's waist "You don't" she said softly.

Clarke traced the scar on Lexa's eyebrow tenderly "I don't" she admitted.

They rested their foreheads together. And that's how Anya found them when she returned home. 

 

~~~

 

That night they slept on Lexa's bed. Clarke was talking lively about Finn and Lexa fought back the urge of roll her eyes.

Lexa's green eyes catched the sight of Clarke in front of her while the blonde changed into her pajamas. Lexa was sitting on her bed, her back against the headboard. She felt a strange flip in her stomach when Clarke took off her shirt, revealing her bra.

The blonde was no longer a child. Her body had the curves of a woman. Lexa found herself staring at the blonde's bra covered breasts. She blushed and moved uncomfortably on the bed avoiding to look at Clarke, feeling bad for had been staring at her friend. But also wondered why she was feeling that way. The boys at school were always taking off her shirt on gym class and she couldn't care less.

"Lexa?" Clarke asked arching her eyebrows.

Lexa looked at the blonde's face. An expectantly expression on it.

"I was asking you if you'll come to Finn's party next weekend" Clarke smiled "What's on your mind lately?" she sat beside Lexa and grabbed the brunette's hand.

Lexa swallowed with a weak smirk "Nothing" she shrugged "School stuff" she tried to avoid the blonde's gaze.

Clarke squeezed Lexa's hand bringing back the brunette's green eyes to her "It won't be the same without you"

Lexa knew Clarke was talking about that stupid party Finn was gonna thrown, explointing his parents' absence that week.

"I don't know, Clarke" Lexa replied unsure.

"Awww come on" Clarke pouted getting closer to the brunette "Please, please, pretty please"

Lexa rolled her eyes "Ok" she sighed.

Clarke smiled brightly and kissed Lexa's cheek.

 

~~~

 

"Come on, Clarke!" Lexa called the blonde from downstairs "We're gonna be late!"

"One minute!" Clarke replied.

Lexa sighed tiredly and rolled her eyes. She sat on the couch and looked at her watch. They were going to attend that stupid party at Finn's house. Not that Lexa was excited about it. It was Clarke the one who was static.

"Hey Lexa, dear" Jake said walking to the living room.

"Hi, Jake" Lexa smiled softly.

The man looked at Lexa and sat in front of her "I hope you two behave tonight" he raised his eyebrow "No alcohol and no boys, please"

Lexa chuckled "Ok"

Jake observed the brunette, who was just like another daughter to him. She was wearing her long curly brown hair loose, jeans, a white striped shirt and a dark brown jacket over it. Her legs were bouncing while she looked again at her watch. She was about to stood from the couch and call Clarke again when the blonde descended the stairs looking flawless.

Lexa's jaw almost hit the floor seeing Clarke with a blue strap dress, and her wavy blonde hair loose over her shoulders. 

Clarke smiled at her father and Lexa "So what?" she asked smiling "How do I look?"

"Absolutely beautiful, sweetheart" Jake smiled at his daughter "Right, Lexa?" she looked at the brunette.

Lexa cleared her sudden dry throat and stood from the couch "Sure. I mean, yes. You look amazing, Clarke"

Clarke smiled happily "I'll grab my jacket" she announced before leaving the living room.

Jake's eyes found Lexa staring at the spot where Clarke had been and smirked shaking his head. The brunette was in awe, there's was no doubt. Jake walked to her and put his hand over her shoulder gently. Lexa looked up at him.

Jake nodded at her "She will realize someday, Lexa" she said soflty. Lexa frowned. Jake sighed "I hope not too late"

Lexa was still frowning at Jake and his strange statement when Clarke returned.

"Ready?" the blonde asked.

Lexa gazed at Clarke "Yeah" she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think. Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

The party was everything Lexa didn't like. 

Too noisy. Too crowded. Too asphyxiating.

"Hey!" Finn saluted over the music with a big smile "I'm glad you're here, Clarke" he looked at Lexa "Hi, Lexa"

"Hi" the brunette didn't even bother to smile.

"So" Clarke smirked putting some hair behind her ear "Who are all these people? I don't even know half of them"

Finn laughed amused "It's a good party. What can I say?" he offered his hand to the blonde.

Clarke glanced back at Lexa "Will you be ok?" she asked honestly.

Lexa nodded "Yeah. Go. Have fun" her lips curled up softly.

Clarke kissed the brunette's cheek and took Finn's hand. They both walked to the pool's side. Clarke laughed at something he told her.

Lexa observed them clenching her jaw. When she turned around she collided with someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Wells Jaha said kindly.

Lexa just shrugged "It's fine. Was my fault"

"Are you here alone?" the boy asked.

Lexa shook her head "Clarke is over there" she pointed at the blonde, who was now sitting with Finn in a comfy garden couch. She was looking at him like he was the most interesting person in the world.

"Do you want something to drink?" Wells brought her back to reality.

Lexa observed the boy and nodded.

"Would you believe me if I say I'm interested in you since we were 13?" Finn arched his eyebrows.

Clarke blushed profusely "Really?"

"Yeah" he smiled sideways "Something tells me you like me too"

Clarke chuckled lowering her head shyly.

Lexa observed everything from the other side of the garden. Wells was talking about the history project for class. Or it was the chemistry project? Honestly Lexa couldn't tell. She wasn't paying attention. She wasn't even drinking. The plastic cup on her hand was untoched.

"Lexa?" Wells called the brunette's attention "It doesn't have any alcohol. I promise"

Lexa nodded "Yeah, I know. Is just..." she trailed off.

"Are you worried about Clarke?" Wells asked honestly.

"Yeah. I mean...no" she stared at the boy seriously "Should I?"

"Finn is an inofensive jerk" Wells shrugged "He likes to be the center of attention"

Lexa smirked amused "You also think he's an idiot?"

"Oh yes" Wells scoffed "But Clarke likes him" he grew serious.

"I know" Lexa whispered looking back at her friend, all flustered and shy under Finn's attentions.

When Lexa turned her gaze back to Wells the boy offered her a kind smile.

"We are the club of the broken hearts, aren't we?" he said gently.

Lexa frowned at that.

"I always liked Clarke" Wells continued "But she only see me as a friend" he sighed.

"Yeah" Lexa sighed too. Feeling very close to Wells in that moment.

"I should go back home" the boy finally said "My father will give me a long, boring talk if I'm late, you know"

Lexa smiled softly "Ok"

"See you in class, Lexa" Wells smiled leaving his cup on the nearest table.

"See you there" the brunette said "Wells" she called the boy making him to turn around. Lexa smiled with a nod "You're cool. For a guy"

Wells laughed merrily "You're pretty cool too" he pointed at the brunette before leaving "Take care"

Lexa smirked and looked around. She sighed loudly and stood there, waiting for Clarke.

The blonde gave Finn a brief kiss on the cheek before walking to the brunette.

"Hey" Clarke smiled "Did you have fun?

"Yeah" Lexa lied.

Clarke smiled brightly and hugged Lexa, leaving a soft kiss on her cheek. 

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke, burying her nose into her blonde hair. Feeling good for the first time that night.

"Thank you for coming with me" Clarke whispered giving the brunette another kiss.

"Anytime" Lexa whispered back. A silly smile on her face.

 

~~~

 

Finn left a flower on Clarke's locker the next morning. She squealed and jumped excited. She engulfed Lexa in a tight hug as the brunette felt that awful pang in her chest again.

He even appeared on Lexa's 16th birthday. He followed Clarke around like a puppy. And Lexa found his presence irritating and annoying.

Finn traced the blonde's half heart necklace with her finger, telling her how pretty it was. Clarke blushed a little and Lexa felt her own heart sinking at the sight.

The brunette wrapped her hand around the other half heart hanging around her neck, trying to find some security.

Before leaving Finn kissed Clarke on the cheek. And the blonde did the same.

Clarke gave Lexa a collection of fantasy books (her favorites) with a big smile on her face. Lexa hugged her, lifting her from the floor a little. 

Clarke laughed softly and kissed the brunette's cheek and then her eyebrow.

 

~~~

 

On Clarke's 16th birthday a couple of months later, Finn appeared with a big bag of sweets and candy of all kind. Clarke jumped into his arms and he kissed her cheek sweetly.

Lexa clenched her jaw and continued drinking from her glass.

Jake walked to Clarke and Finn and the blonde introduced the boy to her father. Jake glared at Finn, making him squirm under under his piercing gaze. He warned him about hurting her daughter and the boy nodded nervously. Clarke complained completely embarrassed. Blush creeping on her face.

Lexa smirked at the scene taking a sip of her drink.

When Jake walked away from the young couple, he winked and smiled at Lexa who smiled back at him.

Lexa gave Clarke the leather jacket she was always talking about. The blonde hugged the brunette happily kissing her cheek repeatedly. Lexa laughed quietly wrapping her arms around Clarke.

When they were eating cake on the couch, Finn announced he was going to play on the high school male soccer team.

Clarke was excited and told Finn Lexa was already playing on the female team.

Finn smiled at the brunette "I guess we're kind of mates now"

Lexa fought the urge to roll her eyes "I guess" she said coldly.

"Now I can visit you both on the training" Clarke announced happily.

"Not to brag but I'm pretty good" Finn waggled his eyebrows.

Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand and turned to smile at the brunette "Lexa is the best player on her team"

Lexa felt her cheeks and ears burning at the compliment. She lowered her gaze shyly "I'm not the best one, Clarke"

"Yes, you are" the blonde said honestly, brushing her thumb over the brunette's hand that was now resting on her lap.

Lexa shook her head with a little smirk "You don't even know much about soccer" she looked at the blonde fondly.

Clarke scoffed and tugged at the brunette's hand "I know enough to know you're the best"

Lexa smiled sweetly at Clarke who leaned to her and kissed her cheek softly.

The moment was broke when Finn reclaimed the blonde's attention by asking her if she wanted a drink. Clarke nodded and Finn offered her his hand.

Lexa sighed when Clarke's hand left hers as she walked to the table with Finn.

 

~~~

 

Clarke couldn't wait to tell Lexa the news. Finn asked her to be his girlfriend. Finally.

Clarke was ecstatic about it. Finn was so cute and nice. He asked her to be his girlfriend on the cafeteria and then kissed her lips softly.

She was 16 and dating the boy of her dreams. She needed to tell Lexa.

She found the brunette on the soccer field. She was carrying her long curly chestnut hair on a ponytail. Her hands on her hips and her face deeply focused on the coach instructions.

It was training day for Lexa and the rest of the female team. Clarke sat on the grades waiting for the brunette to end the training. The blonde saw how Lexa turned her face distractedly and spotted her. Lexa smirked at her and Clarke smiled back waving her hand.

Clarke observed the training. Her blue eyes following every one of Lexa's movement. The brunette was really good. She was fast, strong and skillful. 

It surprised Clarke how much Lexa grew up in the last year. She was taller and toned, but also more beautiful than ever. Her body although athletic and firm, was feminine and graceful.

When the training ended, Clarke watched how Lexa flexed her left knee with a little wince and gritting her teeth. Clarke frowned on her sit. When Lexa got closer she noticed the brunette was limping a little.

"Hey" Lexa greeted the blonde.

"Are you ok?" Clarke said walking to the brunette, putting a chestnut lock behind her ear gently.

Lexa was sweating and looked tired. She nodded "I'm fine"

"Lexa" Clarke said with serious tone.

Lexa knew she couldn't lie to her friend "Is just a small twinge in the knee, Clarke. I'm fine" she dried the sweat of her forehead with her forearm.

"You should rest" Clarke said softly, cupping the brunette's cheek and looking into her lovely green eyes.

Lexa sighed and nodded "I'll take a shower. Will you wait for me?"

Clarke smiled "Of course"

Lexa kissed the blonde's cheek without couldn't contain herself. She loved her way too much.

Clarke chuckled and patted the brunette's shoulder "Go to shower, killer"

It was Lexa's time to chuckle.

When they arrived at Lexa's house, Gustus put ice on the brunette's knee and ordered her to stretch the leg. Clarke put a cushion over the coffee table and helped Lexa to rest the leg there. She then sat beside the brunette.

"I hope I feel better for the match on Sunday" Lexa wrinkled her nose.

"You'll be" Clarke assured her "But you need to stop moving. I know that's hard for you, Lexa. But you have to"

Lexa chuckled "Just having you here makes me feel better" she laced her fingers with the blonde's, settling more comfortably on the couch. 

Clarke settled too and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder while they watched tv. Suddenly she remembered. The date with Finn.

Clarke tensed on the couch and looked at her watch.

"Something's wrong?" Lexa asked worried.

Clarke was late. Late to her first date with Finn as his official girlfriend.

"Will you stay for dinner, Clarke?" Gustus walking from the kitchen "I'm making mac and cheese"

Clarke was torn. She wanted to be with Finn, but also wanted to stay with Lexa.

Lexa and Gustus exchanged confused looks.

"Clarke" Lexa said calling her friend's attention.

The blonde fixed her blue eyes into the brunette's green ones. Lexa was her soft spot, her rock, her safe place. She had always been. And no matter her relationship with Finn, she would always be.

Clarke licked her lips "I...actually...I have a date, Lexa" she said feeling suddenly bad "With Finn"

Lexa's face fell. But she tried to recover quickly and offered the blonde a tiny smirk. A sad one, Clarke could say.

"It's ok, Clarke" Lexa said gently, grabbing the blonde's hand softly "I'm fine. You can go"

Clarke felt her heart breaking. Lexa was trying to be stoic, but she knew the brunette was sad and even disappointed.

"Lexa..." Clarke began.

The brunette caressed the back of the blonde's hand with her thumb "Go" she said softly "You have a date"

The bitterness Lexa was feeling was overwhelming. But she tried to act nice for Clarke. She wanted the blonde's happiness more than anything. Sometimes even more than her own.

"Are you sure?" Clarke asked the brunette, still unsure.

Lexa nodded "Yeah"

Clarke moved and kissed the brunette's cheek and then the scar on her eyebrow. She looked at her green eyes. They were sad, Clarke noticed.

"I'll call you later, ok?" the blonde offered honestly.

Lexa nodded again. When Clarke left she felt a strong ache in her chest. She ate and watched tv. But she was feeling her insides churn. She was no longer Clarke's priority. And it hurt. 

It hurt immensely.

 

~~~

 

Lexa heard her cell phone ringing. She was looking at the screen. Clarke's name was on it.

It was the third time the blonde called and Lexa didn't answer any. She didn't know why. Maybe because she was incredibly sad that Clarke chose Finn over her.

Lexa sighed and put the phone on the nightstand. She laid down on her bed trying to convice herself that what she was doing was right. 

She knew it wasn't.

She rolled to the other side and tried to sleep. Her knee was hurting like hell. But it was nothing compared with how much her heart was aching.

When she finally fell asleep, she dreamed with bright blue eyes.

 

~~~

 

The next day at high school, Clarke was growing concerned. Lexa didn't attend that day and she didn't answer her calls. Last night she couldn't even enjoy her date with Finn. She was too busy thinking about Lexa. 

Thinking of her sad green eyes and the expression on her face when she left. Clarke didn't know why, but she felt guilty.

After the classes she went directly to Lexa's house. Anya opened the door with serious face.

"Clarke" she said.

"Hi, Anya" Clarke said putting a strand of hair behind her ear nervously "Where's Lexa? She didn't attend highschool today"

Anya nodded with a sly gaze "She's on her room. Licking her wounds"

Clarke frowned. She didn't understand what that meant. She ascended the stairs and saw Gustus leaving Lexa's room. The man sighed when he saw Clarke.

"The season is over" he announced the blonde.

The knee. Clarke thought thinking the worst.

Gustus put his hand on the blonde's shoulder and nodded at her "I think she needs you, Clarke. Even if she's too stubborn to admit it"

Clarke licked her lips and knocked at the door. Lexa didn't reply and Clarke decided to enter.

Lexa was sitting on her bed and her left leg was covered with bandages. Clarke's breath catched in her throat.

"Lexa" the blonde whispered "What happened?"

Lexa clenched her jaw. She was not going to cry.

"I couldn't support the leg this morning" the brunette shrugged "The knee was really swollen and sore and I couldn't bear the pain. Gustus took me to the hospital" she gazed at Clarke "I have a knee ligament sprain" she licked her lips and clenched her jaw again "Which means the soccer season is over for me"

Clarke couldn't believe it. She sat on the edge of the bed. She wasn't sure if Lexa wanted her there. But when the brunette sniffed, Clarke crossed the short distance and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Lexa" the blonde said caressing her hair.

"No" Lexa said inhaling the blonde's scent "I'm the one who's sorry. I should have answer your calls"

Clarke pulled back and cupped the brunette's face tenderly. Lexa's gaze was lowered. She was unable to look at Clarke. She had been so stupid.

"I'm sorry, Clarke" Lexa said again looking at the blonde's face.

Clarke shook her head "I should have stay with you" she lamented.

"Is not your fault" Lexa assured her.

It wasn't. But Clarke felt like it was.

"Is just" Lexa said with a lump in her throat "I miss you, Clarke"

The brunette looked so vulnerable, so sad. Clarke's heart broke at that.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" the blonde rested her forehead against Lexa "I miss you too, Lexa"

Lexa licked her lips and rested her hands on the blonde's hips "I know you're with Finn" Lexa said "But I don't want to lose you. I couldn't bear it"

Clarke's heart swelled and melted at the same time. The brunette's words piercing her to her soul.

"You'll never lose me, silly" the blonde smiled emotionally.

Lexa chuckled softly and nuzzled the blonde's nose gently.

 

~~~

 

The recovery from the sprain was hard. But Clarke was by Lexa's side at every step. The pain was strong but Lexa was stronger. Specially having Clarke with her.

The blonde observed Lexa while the brunette was sleeping.

They supposedly were going to watch a movie on Lexa's laptop on her bed. But the brunette was so tired and drained after her rehabilitation session that she practically passed out when she laid down on the bed.

Clarke caressed her curly hair gently and brushed her thumb over her cheek softly, not wanting to disturb her sleep.

That day Lexa cried on the session because her knee hurt so much that she had to lie down on one of the mattress at the center. Clarke was with her and observed everything with a mix of worry and pain. 

Because Lexa was suffering. And she couldn't do anything to help her and sooth her pain.

The blonde remembered that day when she and Lexa were playing voleyball on the woods when they were 9. Clarke missed the ball and it ended down a deep well. The blonde felt tears in her eyes seeing her precious new ball was lost forever. 

But Lexa immediately climbed down the well to recover the ball without thinking twice. Clarke told her not to do it. Even grabbed the brunette by the arm with a pleading look in her blue eyes. She was deadly worried something bad could happen to her. But as Clarke bit her nails and knelt before the well waiting anxiously for Lexa to climb back, the brunette appeared with a big smile on her face, covered in dirt and mud and carrying the ball under her arm.

Clarke wanted to sob in relief and, at the same time, to scold Lexa for being so damn reckless and unreasonable. Instead she hugged the brunette tightly, without caring about her clothes getting dirty and smudged too.

And then Lexa told her something she would never forget.

"I'll always bear the problems so you don't have to, Clarke. So don't worry, ok?"

At that Clarke could only jump into Lexa's arms, making them both to fall over the ground.

Lexa laughed as Clarke covered her dirty face with kisses.

Clarke felt tears gathering in her eyes remembering that moment. She observed Lexa deeply asleep and wiped her tears away. She wished she could bear the brunette's pain and suffering so she didn't have to. 

She would switch places with her if she could. Without a single doubt.

 

~~~

 

A week later Lexa was waiting for Clarke at the rehabilitation center. She sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room and put the crutches by her side while she looked distractedly at her phone.

A girl about her age got closer to her and Lexa rose up her gaze to look at her. She was really beautiful. With long black hair and gorgeous big brown eyes.

"Hi" the girl said offering her hand to Lexa.

Lexa shook the hand "Hi" she replied with a grin.

"I'm Costia" the girl said smiling.

"Lexa" the brunette nodded.

"Beautiful name" Costia said sitting by Lexa's side.

"Thank you" Lexa replied blushing a little.

"Are you here for rehabilitation with Dr. Matthews?" Costia asked.

"I finished" Lexa answered "I'm waiting for a friend"

"A dislocation?" Costia asked pointing at Lexa's knee.

Lexa shook her head "A sprain, actually"

"I broke my wrist" Costia showed the brace on her wrist "And I can't move my fingers correctly, so that's why I'm here"

"How did you break it?" Lexa asked curiously. She liked the girl. She was pretty and nice.

Costia pressed her lips together "I fell while skating. You?"

Lexa chuckled "Playing soccer"

"Oh, you play soccer?" Costia widened her eyes with a smile.

Lexa tilted her head "Well...I played soccer" she clarified.

Cosia chuckled and Lexa smiled.

"Sorry, Lexa" Clarke said entering the waiting room "I'm late" she stopped when she saw Costia.

"It's ok" Lexa said standing from the chair and grabbing her crutches "This is Costia" the brunette said looking at the girl "A rehabilitation pal"

Costia laughed and stood too. She offered her hand to Clarke. The blonde shook the girl's hand while observing her. The girl was definitely beautiful. She felt something she couldn't describe seeing how she was smiling at Lexa.

"I'm Clarke" the blonde said.

"Nice to meet you, Clarke" Costia smiled. She turned to look at Lexa "I'll see you around, Lexa"

Lexa nodded and followed Clarke outside the center.

 

~~~

 

That night they ate pizza and studied together on Clarke's room.

The blonde was still upset thinking about that Costia girl, and she didn't even know why. She gazed at Lexa trying to put her mind in order.

The brunette was sitting on the bed with her back against the headboard. Her leg stretched and no longer wearing bandages. Now she was wearing a flexible net that held her knee in place, and it was way more comfortable.

Clarke's phone buzzed and she looked at the screen.

"Is Finn?" Lexa asked arching her eyebrow.

Clarke nodded. It's been a couple of days since the blonde last saw her boyfriend.

 _I miss you_ the message said.

Clarke licked her lips and turned off the phone. 

Lexa frowned confused "Aren't you gonna answer him?"

Clarke looked at Lexa "Later" she excused "There's some much we need to study" she focussed on the books.

Lexa tilted her head and observed her friend "What's wrong, Clarke?"

Clarke shook her head "Nothing"

"Is because I'm here? I can go if you want to talk with him" Lexa offered honestly.

Clarke gazed at Lexa "No, don't be silly"

Lexa closed her book and patted the mattress beside her "Come here" she smirked.

Clarke smiled and went to the brunette's side gladly. Lexa wrapped a arm around the blonde and Clarke rested her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"Did something happen between you and Finn? Are you two mad or something?" Lexa asked nuzzling the blonde's temple softly.

Clarke snuggled closer to the brunette "No" she answered playing with Lexa's hair, swirling a strand around her finger.

The truth was that Clarke and Finn were good. But Clarke was feeling less and less interested in the boy. It was like she had been living a fake dream and now was waking up.

Lexa kissed the blonde's forehead and Clarke grinned.

"You know you can count me on to kick his ass if you want" Lexa smirked playfully.

Clarke chuckled "But you need to fully recover first" she remember the brunette. She looked up at her green eyes.

Lexa shrugged "Deal, Griffin"

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the brunette "Don't call me--"

"Griffin, I know" Lexa smiled at Clarke. She kissed the tip of her nose sweetly.

Clarke shook her head with a grin "I could swear you do it on purpose"

Lexa smiled "What can I say? You're really pretty when you're angry" she said softly.

Clarke chuckled "Shut up" she said with a smile returning her head to the brunette's shoulder. Wondering why she was suddenly blushing.

 

~~~

 

Lexa saw Costia almost everyday on rehabilitation. The girl had that day her last session. So she asked Lexa her phone number and the brunette gave it to her. She liked Costia. And with Clarke going on dates with Finn almost every day, it was nice to have someone to talk with.

Lexa couldn't deny it or lie to herself anymore. 

She liked girls. And it really scared her how Gustus, Anya and Clarke would react to it. Especially Clarke.

She couldn't lose Clarke. She was sure she would die if the blonde rejected her.

She took a long breath before entering the blonde's room. 

Clarke was lying on her bed with her phone. She smiled when she saw Lexa. She got on her knees over the mattress and kissed the brunette on the cheek and on the eyebrow. Lexa couldn't help but smile.

"I have the last session tomorrow" the brunette announced. She wasn't wearing the crutches anymore and only limped a little. She was almost 100% recovered.

"That's wonderful, Lexa" Clarke said excited "Do you want me to go with you?"

Lexa gulped "I...I want to talk with you, Clarke. Is important"

Clarke frowned "Ok" she said sitting on the bed's edge.

Lexa remained standing in front of the blonde "Clarke" she began gulping again "You're my best friend. I...I haven't even tell Anya or Gustus yet. I don't know how they would take it, but..." she closed her eyes and swallowed with difficulty.

"Lexa, you're scaring me" Clarke said grabbing the brunette's hands. She noticed they were shaking "What's wrong?" she asked worried.

Lexa gazed at Clarke. She was her best friend and she loved her more than she thought it could be possible. Lexa left out a shaky breath.

"I'm lesbian, Clarke" she confessed finally "I like girls" she stared at the blonde who was looking back at her in surprise "Please, don't hate me" she felt tears in her eyes.

Clarke observed Lexa. She was shaking and ashamed. Like she was apologizing for being herself. She looked so vulnerable and scared. It was heartbreaking.

Clarke stood and cupped the brunette's cheek gently "Silly. How could you think that?" she offered her a little smile "I could never hate you, Lexa. I love you. You're my best friend"

Lexa sighed and wiped away her tears. Clarke hugged her and Lexa wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist.

"Thank you, Clarke" Lexa murmured against the blonde's neck.

Clarke smiled and kissed her cheek "You're so silly" she shook her head before kissing the scar on the brunette's eyebrow "I'm glad you told me" they laced the fingers of their hands together.

Lexa swallowed "I understand if you're a little freak out. And I can understand if you feel weird around me from now" she lowered her gaze.

Clarke chuckled "You're such a fool, Lexa" she declared lovingly "Forever. Remember?" she rested her forehead against the brunette's.

Lexa smiled softly "Forever" she whispered.

They slept together that night, after eating junk food and laughing watching silly movies.

Lexa was graceful that Clarke didn't have change her behavior with her. She was glad their relationship was still the same as always.

"Clarke?" Lexa whispered into the dark room. They were lying on the bed, cuddling comfortably and facing each other.

"Mhm?" Clarke hummed with her eyes closed.

Lexa smirked. She loved the blonde with all her heart.

"You're my favorite person in the whole wide world" Lexa confessed lovingly.

Clarke smiled, with her eyes still closed. She burrowed further into Lexa's embrace. Inhaling the brunette's scent and sighing happily.

"And you're mine, Lexa" the blonde declared.

 

~~~

 

Lexa began training again. She was feeling great and the coach was happy to count with her.

"Clarke?" Finn asked.

The blonde looked at him with a frown. She was too busy watching Lexa training. She was sitting on the grades when Finn went to her side. He had training too, after the female team.

"I was telling you if you want to go out tonight" Finn said standing in front of the blonde.

Clarke shook her head. Trying to clarify her mind "Sure" she said with a grin.

Finn nodded and bent his head to kiss his girlfriend. Clarke kissed her briefly before returning her eyes to the field.

"See you later" Finn winked leaving.

Clarke sighed. She was feeling she was being unfair to Finn. It was like she couldn't give the boy all of her, all her heart. 

Like if her heart already belonged to another. She closed her eyes to try to avoid that thought.

No. She was happy with Finn. He was cute and nice. And she really liked him.

But she loved him?

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone calling Lexa from the grades. Clarke frowned and searched along the grades. And she saw her. Costia.

She was there watching Lexa training too. Clarke felt an irksome sensation on her chest at the fact that Lexa had invited her too.

Costia spotted the blonde and went to her side with a bright smile.

"Hi Clarke" the girl said friendly.

Clarke had to bit back the unexpected bitterness she was feeling and forced a smile "Hi"

Costia sat beside Clarke and returned her eyes to the field. Clarke was fuming. She wondered why on earth Lexa had invited Costia to see her. And then she felt like if somebody had throw a bucket of cold ice water over her head.

She liked her. Lexa liked Costia.

Clarke glanced at the girl sitting beside her. She was beautiful. With a long dark hair and lovely big brown eyes. She was really attractive, Clarke couldn't deny it. But she felt like she had been slapped. She suddenly felt very insecure and sad.

When the training finished, Lexa walked to Clarke and Costia smiling a little, almost shyly. Clarke felt a surge of jealousy at that.

"Hey" Lexa said drying the sweat of her face with her forearm.

"Good training" Costia declared smiling. And then Lexa did it again. She smiled shyly at the girl.

Clarke clenched her jaw and grew serious.

"Clarke?" Lexa said bringing her friend's blue eyes to her "Would you like to come with us?"

 _Us?_ Clarke thought bitterly. _Us_ wasn't she and Lexa, it was Lexa and Costia. 

"No, thanks" Clarke replied coldly "I'll wait for Finn"

Lexa frowned. Clarke always left with her. She never waited for Finn.

"Who's Finn?" Costia asked grinning.

Clarke clenched her jaw again "My boyfriend" she replied with a bitter smile.

"And why don't we go out the four of us? Right Lexa?" Costia said happily.

Lexa didn't know what to say. She hated Finn. And specially hated seeing him with Clarke. She shrugged "If you guys want" she replied.

Clarke observed Lexa. Why she was feeling that way? Why she couldn't feel happy for Lexa?

"Why not?" Clarke said finally.

 

~~~

 

The double date was the definition of awkward. 

They went to a burger. Finn was the one doing all the talking. He talked about soccer, about his family's last holidays in Aspen, about parties and about almost everything. Costia talked too. Clarke was oddly silent and avoiding eye contact with Lexa.

Finn took another french fried "So how you two met?" he asked.

Lexa glanced at Clarke, who was still looking at her plate.

"On rehabilitation" Costia answered grinning a little.

Finn nodded and gazed at Clarke. He kissed the blonde's cheek softly. Lexa clenched her jaw and moved her legs uncomfortably under the table.

"How you girls met?" Costia asked to Lexa and Clarke suddenly "I know you two had been friends for a long time"

Lexa glanced at Clarke again "On kindergarten" 

"Really?" Costia asked arching her eyebrows "That's a looong time then" she chuckled.

"Yeah" Lexa couldn't help but smirk a little "We ran into each other on the playground"

Clarke rose her gaze to the brunette. It was the first time that night that she looked at her, and Lexa felt a huge relief.

"Is that how you got that scar?" Costia asked smiling and pointing at the brunette's eyebrow.

"No" Lexa chuckled and shook her head.

"She fell climbing the centenary tree up the hills" Clarke said, speaking for the first time that night.

Lexa looked at the blonde with a tiny smile. She was glad Clarke hadn't shut her down completely.

Clarke smiled too. She was there. And even if she hated remembering Lexa bleeding, she always smiled when she remembered how the brunette didn't even flinched or cry when her mom put on the stitches. Clarke was holding her hand the whole time.

"That's crazy" Finn chuckled.

"It is" Costia laughed amused "Why did you do that, Lexa?"

Lexa shrugged taking a sip of her drink.

Costia reached out and traced the brunette's scar soflty with a smile. Lexa didn't know why, but she pulled away from the girl's touch suddenly. She gazed at Clarke almost ashamed. Only the blonde used to do that. No one else. It was soothing, it was sweet and it was intimate. Something the two of them shared.

Clarke swallowed lowering her gaze again. She felt stupidly hurt seeing Costia tracing Lexa's scar. She knew it was childish and very absurd, but she loved to be the only one allowed to do it.

The blonde stood suddenly "I...I need to go to the bathroom" she said before disappearing.

Lexa gulped following Clarke with her eyes.

Clarke left out a long angry breath in front of the mirror of the bathroom. She put her hands over the sink and looked at her reflect. She was feeling stupid and hurt. It was all so confusing and strange. She closed her eyes and bit her lips.

The bathroom door opened and Lexa entered. She felt guilty without couldn't explain why.

"Clarke" the brunette said softly.

The blonde turned around to look at her friend, but she didn't say anything.

Lexa swallowed "Clarke, look--" she began walking to the blonde.

"I don't like her" Clarke interrupted the brunette crossing her arms over her chest.

Lexa frowned "What?"

Clarke licked her lips "Costia. I don't like her"

Lexa was deeply confused "Why not?"

Clarke didn't know why. Or better said, she knew exactly why.

"Clarke" Lexa said more serious "I'm dating her. I like her"

Clarke rolled her eyes "Oh, please" she huffed "You don't even know her"

Lexa was hurt by the blonde's attitude and words "I know enough to know I like her, Clarke"

"Would you let her kiss your scar too?" Clarke asked, suddenly very offended and angry.

Lexa frowned again "Is that why you are like this?"

Clarke felt stupid and jealous, but she couldn't help it. She was ready to leave when Lexa stepped in front of her.

"I'm sorry, ok?" the brunette apologized without even knowing why.

Clarke swallowed and shook her head. She was being so unfair to Lexa.

"No. I'm the one who's sorry, Lexa" the blonde said honestly "I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I don't know why I find so upsetting that she does that" she lowered her gaze.

Lexa sighed and encircled the blonde's waist, bringing her closer "It's ok" she soothed the blonde "I know you love my scar" she tried to joke, but she knew it was the truth. Lexa tilted her head and shrugged "Is sexy"

Clarke chuckled and played with a strand of chestnut curly hair soflty. She gazed back at Lexa "I'm sorry" she whispered.

Lexa nodded and kissed the blonde's nose sweetly "I know" she said "To be honest, I don't like when others do it. I guess, it only feels right when you do" the brunette confessed.

Clarke couldn't help but smile at that and feel incredibly happy.

The rest of the night Clarke tried to find an answer on why it was so hard and bothersome to share Lexa and her attentions with someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm writing this story :)


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa gathered all her family one night. She was going to coming out to them.

Clarke was by her side all the time. And her parents. After so many years, they were part of the brunette's family too.

The outpouring love and support from everybody made Lexa teary eyed.

Gustus hugged her tightly, lamenting how fast she was growing. Which made her chuckle and wip away her tears.

Anya kissed her cheek and hugged her too. Her big sister was not a very hugging person, so Lexa enjoyed every second of it.

Jake and Abby covered her with love and affection too.

"You're absolutely amazing. Don't let anyone tells you otherwise" Abby said gently.

"And if someone does they'll hear me" Jake offered before hugging her once more.

Clarke observed everything with a permanent smile on her face. A smile that faded a little when Costia appeared.

Lexa invited her to meet her family and make the _official_ presentation.

The girl was all smiles and charm. Even after Jake told her jokingly to never hurt Lexa, much to the brunette's dismay who blushed deeply and covered her face with both hands in embarrassment.

Clarke sat on the couch waiting for Lexa as she accompanied Costia to the door and kissed her goodbye.

Something stirred inside the blonde when Costia cleaned the lipstick she left on Lexa's lips with her thumb. The brunette simply smiled and let her do it.

When Lexa returned and sat by her side Clarke grabbed her hand.

Lexa leaned and kissed her cheek sweetly whispering a heartfelt _thank you_.

 

~~~

 

After days with Finn insisting to see her, Clarke finally attended the party the boy was throwing at his house.

The problem? Lexa attended with Costia. And the girl was all over the brunette. Hugging her. Kissing her. Holding her hand.

Clarke hated herself for feeling so hurt. Lexa was her best friend and she should be happy for her.

Finn talked with a soccer team mate while her arm surrounded the blonde's shoulder.

Clarke saw how Costia kissed Lexa. The two girls talked for a minute and finally Costia left.

Clarke then made her way to Lexa, telling Finn she was going for a drink.

"Hey" the blonde said carefully.

Lexa turned around "Hey" she replied with a smile.

"Everything's ok? With Costia, I mean"

"Yeah" Lexa nodded "She have to visit some family tomorrow and she and her parents needs to leave soon"

"Ok" Clarke nodded with a little smile.

"Are you enjoying the party?" Lexa asked with her hands inside the pockets of her jeans.

"Plenty" Clarke rolled her eyes "No offence, but with hearing you talking about soccer I have more than enough"

Lexa laughed amused "Awww" she teased trying to tickle the blonde "Griffin is grumpy"

"Don't call me Griffin" Clarke protested bating the brunette's hands away.

Lexa laughed again and engulfed the blonde in a comforting hug. Clarke sighed and wrapped her arms around the brunette too.

"Do you want to hear me talk about soccer with my team mates?" Lexa said softly.

Clarke smirked, hiding her face into the brunette's neck "How could I say no to that?"

Lexa guided Clarke by the hand to the garden. They sat there with the rest of the female team.

Clarke squeezed the brunette's hand as she talked about soccer with a team mate and observed her lovely profile.

When the talk moved into if the team should have or not have a cheerleader team, Lexa huffed and looked at Clarke "I have the best cheerleader already"

Clarke blushed without couldn't help it "I'm not a cheerleader, you silly" her voice full of affection.

"Well, you are my personal cheerleader then" Lexa smiled happily.

Their hands were still clasped together. Clarke laced her fingers with the brunette's as she looked at her lovingly "You're such a goof"

They spent the rest of the night together. Dancing and Clarke teasing Lexa about how good she was getting at it.

Finn finally reclaimed the blonde's attention and time. Lexa decided to leave then so they could be alone.

They said goodbye on the door and Clarke hugged Lexa and kissed her cheek and then her eyebrow.

 

~~~

 

Clarke woke up the next morning agitated and confused.

She was sure she was dreaming with Finn. They were dancing and Clarke was practically floating with happiness.

But then she pulled back to look at his face and didn't saw him. She saw warm green eyes looking back at her. 

Lexa.

Instead of feeling odd or strange, it felt...wonderful. The blonde felt secure, happy and her heart was doing curious things inside her chest.

Lexa smirked in that way of hers while they danced slowly and Clarke simply melted. 

The blonde reached to touch the brunette's face, because she needed it. It was overwhelming and inexplicable, but she needed to touch Lexa. To make sure she was real.

The brunette's full lips moved but Clarke couldn't hear what she was saying. 

The blonde smiled either way and wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck.

She closed her blue eyes getting lost into everything she was feeling. In how incredible was to be in Lexa's arms.

She moved closer and closer to the brunette. Ready to claim her lips. Lexa didn't make a move. She just simply stared at Clarke with her green eyes filled with love.

Their lips were about to touch and then...

Then woke up and sat over the mattress with her heart racing and her breath altered.

She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head.

"What the hell was that?" she whispered confused.

 

~~~

 

Clarke couldn't contain the jump her heart did when she saw Lexa on her kitchen that morning.

The brunette was wearing her soccer ensemble. Her long curly chesnut hair was in a ponytail and she was smiling at something Abby told her.

"Good morning, sleepy one" Jake's cheerful voice broke the spell the blonde felt at seeing her best friend there.

Precisely Lexa turned her gaze to her and smiled brightly. Clarke always loved when Lexa smiled like that. Her green eyes twinkled.

Clarke smiled back. A hint of nervousness washing over her remembering her strange dream.

"Good morning, Clarke" Lexa said.

"Good morning" the blonde replied "What are you doing here? You should be lazily laying on your bed complaining about how early it is" she couldn't help but tease a little.

Lexa laughed softly and walked to the blonde for a hug.

Clarke sighed hugging the brunette and burying her nose into her neck.

"I have training" Lexa said pulling back a little "This season we're going for all" she winked and Clarke wondered why her heart was getting crazy at that.

After eating breakfast together Clarke accompanied Lexa to the porch. They hugged again and Clarke kissed the brunette's eyebrow softly.

Lexa smiled and walked away waving her hand.

"Please take it easy, ok?" Clarke exclaimed waving her hand too.

"Don't worry, Griffin" Lexa smirked mischievoulsy.

Clarke rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest "Don't call me Griffin"

The sound of Lexa's gentle laughter made her smile a little.

 

~~~

 

"Focus Clarke" the blonde muttered under her breath to herself.

She was in a date with Finn. At the movies.

He was paying the tickets and she was mad with herself for still thinking about that goddamn dream that same morning.

Finn offered his hand and the blonde took it with a tentative smile.

The date passed and she honestly couldn't remember a single detail about the movie. By her side Finn talked and talked about it and Clarke simply nodded from time to time.

She was brough back to reality when the boy proposed her to go to his house. His parents were out of the town and Clarke knew very well what his invitation was about.

She accepted nevertheless.

It was time to really focus.

On Finn.

Lexa was just her friend. Her best friend. 

But Finn was her boyfriend. And she was ready for the next step.

Was she?

"Clarke?" Finn asked raising an eyebrow "If you feel unsure of something we can--"

She cut him with a kiss that made him open his eyes widely in surprise. But he kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her.

Clarke closed her eyes tightly as she kissed Finn. It was a heated kiss, nothing like the ones they had shared before. This was different and she wanted Finn to know it.

" _Damn_ " Finn panted when the kiss ended. He smiled foolishly.

Clarke felt the urge to tell him to shut up. She was panting too and her head was spiralling. 

Those damn gorgeous green eyes and luscious full lips were hauting her mercilessly. 

Why she was feeling that way? Why was everything so strange and complicated all of sudden? Why she was thinking about her best friend while kissing Finn?

"Clarke" Finn called the blonde's attention "Are you ok?"

Clarke licked her lips. She nodded and took off her shirt in a quick movement. Finn widened his eyes stunned. He leaned again and pressed his lips to the blonde. Clarke closed her eyes again asking to forget.

To forget her beautiful face, her green eyes, her full lips. She wanted to forget her, to erase her from her mind and heart completely. 

But failed misserably.

 

~~~

 

Clarke felt an strange emptiness. Lying there on Finn's bed, with they boy by her side. She felt disappointed.

The night was nice, but not what she expected her first time should be. She expected romanticism, tenderness and something more she couldn't explain.

"Are you fine, Clarke?" Finn asked smiling at her.

He was cute and nice. But the blonde didn't feel he was the one.

"What's wrong?" Finn asked growing worried.

Clarke swallowed "Nothing". Her hand finding the half golden heart around her neck

Finn frowned, but instead of making more questions, he wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist and settle back to sleep.

Clarke observed him. 

She didn't feel butterflies in her stomach, or her heart racing inside her chest. She supposed her first time would be beautiful, romantic and magical. To feel a connection with the boy beyond words and beyond the physical aspect. 

And yet there she was. Disappointed and regretful.

She knew there was only a person who could make her feel better. She sighed and rolled off from the boy's arms and sat on the edge of the bed. She began to dress up.

"Clarke, where are you going?" Finn asked confused.

"I need to go" Clarke replied without looking at him.

"What?" Finn chuckled and got closer. He kissed the blonde's bare shoulder.

Clarke closed her eyes, scolding herself for not feeling something at the boy's kisses and caresses. She turned back to look at him.

"I'm sorry" she whispered. Finn frowned "I think...I think you're a great guy"

"But?" Finn said arching his eyebrows.

Clarke licked her lips and shook her head "I don't think we are made for each other, Finn"

Finn snorted "What kind of shit is that, Clarke? I thought--"

"I like you" the blonde said honestly "But..."

Finn was lost and confused "I don't understand, Clarke. Didn't you like it?"

Clarke closed her eyes with a sigh "I liked it but that's not enough"

"What are you talking about?" Finn asked coldly.

"I'm not in love with you, Finn. I...I don't feel the same way as you. And I don't want to play with your feelings" Clarke confessed seriously.

Finn looked taken aback "Well, you did" she replied sharply.

Clarke knew she hurt the boy. She lowered her gaze sadly "I'm sorry"

"Yeah, me too" Finn said standing from the bed and dressing up too.

Clarke walked home alone and sad. How it was possible she was feeling that way? She really thought Finn was the perfect boy, and she had a crush on him since elementary school. 

What was going on?

She found herself on Lexa's door. The brunette was the only one who could make her feel better and ease all her pain and doubts.

Clarke knocked on the door.

"Come in" Lexa's voice said from the other side.

The blonde opened the door. Lexa was on her desk, typing on her laptop, with her reading glasses on. She looked at Clarke and stood from the chair.

Clarke felt her heart warming up again, and her pain vanishing gazing at the brunette.

"Clarke?" Lexa said confused, taking off her glasses.

Clarke shook her head "I just wanted to see you" it was the only thing she could say before feeling tears burning in her eyes.

Lexa felt something was wrong with the blonde. She went to her side and wrapped her arms around her, looking deeply into her blue eyes "Clarke, what's wrong?"

Clarke fought back the tears and hugged Lexa. She inhaled the familiar scent. 

Why the brunette was the only one who could make her feel secure, loved and happy? Why when she was with a perfect boy, Lexa was the only one she could think of?

"Clarke" Lexa was growing worried.

"Is just...Finn...I..." the blonde mumbled.

Lexa felt her blood boil. She cupped the blonde's face gently "If he did something to you I swear to God I'll break his neck" she declared seriously.

Clarke felt a weak smile growing on her lips. She shook her head "No. He was a perfect a gentleman. We..." she avoided the brunette's gaze.

Lexa realized what the blonde was talking about. And felt a wave of pain and something very close to jealousy washing through her "Oh" she said.

Clarke licked her lips and sighed "It was a mistake, Lexa" she explained "I shouldn't have sleep with him"

Lexa couldn't push away the pain she was feeling, but she couldn't bear to see Clarke so vulnerable and sad. She put a strand of blonde's hair behind her friend's ear softly.

"I broke up with him" Clarke said looking at Lexa's concerned green eyes.

Lexa felt a strange relief "Why?"

Clarke shrugged and grabbed the brunette's hands, linking their fingers together "He's nice and all...but he's not the one. I'm a idiot"

"You're not, Clarke" she soothed the blonde. She hugged her again and kissed her neck tenderly.

Clarke sighed, happily wrapping her arms around the brunette "What would I do without you, Lexa?" she asked sweetly.

Lexa pulled back to face the blonde "Well, you don't have to worry about that" she offered a little smirk.

Clarke kissed the brunette's eyebrow and Lexa kissed the tip of the blonde's nose gently. They rested their foreheads together.

They laid down on Lexa's bed, facing each other. Cuddling.

"Remember when I was afraid of storms and you built a fort in your bedroom with blankets and pillows for us to hide?" Clarke asked smiling at the memory. A finger tracing the brunette's cheek.

Lexa smiled back "I can build one now too"

Clarke chuckled and buried her face into the brunette's neck, wondering why she couldn't feel that way in Finn's arms.

 

~~~

 

A week later Clarke found herself staring at Lexa and Costia. Both girls were on the soccer field. Lexa playing with the ball and Costia talking and smiling, sitting in one of the front benches. 

Lexa was training with the rest of the team, but she only had eyes for Costia.

Clarke was sitting upwards, almost in the last row. She was growing upset at the way Lexa smiled at Costia and how the girl kissed the brunette when she arrived there. The blonde was glaring angrily at the scene.

The sun was blocked suddenly and Clarke looked at her side. Finn was there. 

The blonde sighed. The last thing she wanted was to deal with her ex boyfriend.

"Clarke" the boy said softly.

The blonde swallowed annoyed and returned her gaze to Lexa "What you want, Finn?"

"I wanted to talk with you. To ask you--"

"It's over, Finn" Clarke said looking at the boy again "I'm sorry"

Finn grew serious "I don't think you're sorry. I don't think you're sorry at all" he replied hurt and angry.

Clarke sighed again.

"Look" Finn said with softer tone "I forgive you, ok?"

Clarke frowned at the boy.

"We can try again, Clarke" Finn offered getting closer to the sitting blonde "I'll do whatever you want"

Down on the soccer field, Lexa was absently kicking her ball while Costia was telling her something about her parents. The brunette turned to look at her girlfriend when her eyes traveled upwards, to Clarke. 

Lexa frowned seeing Finn was there too. And Clarke didn't looked especially thrilled about it. The boy was almost invading the blonde's personal space. Lexa knew Clarke was upset by the way she was playing with her hands on her lap and by the nervous bounce of her legs.

Costia called Lexa's name with a smile. Lexa glanced at the girl briefly before returning her angry gaze at Finn. 

She glared at the boy. And when he tried to touch Clarke's shoulder and the blonde moved away from him, Lexa felt her blood boil. She put the ball over the grass in front of her and took a few steps back. Then with another deadly glare, she ran fast and kicked the ball with all the force she had.

"Finn, leave me alone, please" Clarke said seriously.

The boy looked annoyed at the blonde's words "We were so great together. I don't understand, Clarke. Tell me what I have to do to--"

The rest of his words were cut by a ball impacting on the side of his face. He fell unceremoniously over the benches by Clarke's side. The blonde widened her eyes in surprise.

Finn growled and stood. His cheek was red and swollen "What the hell?" he spat.

"Sorry, Finn!" Lexa called from the soccer field with a fake smile and raising her hand lightly "I didn't see you"

Clarke gazed at the brunette. She knew Lexa too well to know she impacted him on purpose. She couldn't help but gave a little smile to the brunette.

Finn growled again and turned to leave. Lexa watched the boy descend the stairs.

"Lexa" Costia called the brunette "What was that?"

"I didn't see him" she shrugged. She looked up, at Clarke, who was looking down at her "I'm gonna recover the ball" the brunette announced.

When she reached the row where Clarke was sitting, Lexa smirked at her and picked the ball from the blonde's side.

"Are you ok, Clarke?" Lexa asked seriously, putting the ball under her arm and sitting beside the blonde. She encircled her waist with her free hand.

Clarke nodded and moved closer to the brunette. Immediately feeling better "Good shoot" she smiled a little.

"I don't know what are you talking about" Lexa said with false innocence "It was an accident" she shrugged before standing.

Clarke stood and put a dark lock behind Lexa's ear gently. She looked into those beautiful green eyes "Thank you" she said honestly.

Lexa smirked and nodded. Down at the soccer field, Costia observed the scene with a frown.

Lexa licked her lips and glanced briefly at Costia "I have to go. Costia and I...well" she shrugged lowering her gaze, like she was unable to saying it while looking at the blonde "We have plans tonight" she returned her eyes to Clarke almost apologizing.

Clarke nodded slightly. Lexa felt bad suddenly.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Lexa asked honestly "I can cancel"

Clarke shook her head. She loved that Lexa was ready to choose her over Costia, but she couldn't let her. She wanted Lexa to be happy. And if Costia was the one making her happy, well, she just had to swallow down her discomfort.

"No, Lexa" Clarke said softly "Enjoy your date with Costia"

Lexa stared at the blonde for a moment "Ok. I'll call you later"

Clarke grinned with another nod. Lexa smirked at her and kissed her cheek sweetly. Clarke closed her eyes briefly and sighed before returning the kiss to Lexa. She then traced the scar on the brunette's eyebrow gently.

Lexa smirked one last time and turned around to leave.

"Lexa" Clarke called suddenly.

Lexa looked back and fixed her green eyes into the blonde's blue ones.

"Thank you" Clarke declared "For looking after me"

Lexa smiled "Always" she turned around and looked over her shoulder at the blonde one last time "Griffin"

Clarke shook her head with a tiny grin "Don't call me Griffin"

Lexa laughed quietly while descending the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your patience :)

"Earth to Lexa?" Costia chuckled.

Lexa turned her distracted gaze to the girl with a frown. They were walking hand in hand to Costia's house after their date.

"You spaced out for a moment" Costia smiled.

"Yeah? Sorry" Lexa shrugged "There's a lot in my mind right now"

"Like what?" Costia snuggled closer to Lexa as they walked. She encircled the brunette's arm with both her hands.

Lexa tilted her head and licked her lips. How could put into words that _a lot_ that was filling her mind?

"Soccer stuff, you know" she finally said with a half smile "The next match is really important"

"You can be champion of the state, yeah" Costia grinned "That's huge"

Lexa smirked "Is just a title and a little trophy. Nothing more"

"Is being the best" Costia kissed the Lexa's cheek "Don't you want to be the best?"

Lexa shrugged "I guess"

Costia laughed and shook her head. Lexa smiled softly.

"Here we are" Costia announced.

Lexa nodded "Well, I guess...I'll call you later, ok?"

Costia chuckled "No, Lexa. Come inside"

Lexa arched her eyebrows "And your parents?"

Costia shook her head smiling "I've told you they're out the city"

Lexa frowned "When? When did you tell me?"

Costia smiled "During the soccer practice. When you hit Finn with the ball and all"

Lexa nodded. She didn't remember at all. She wasn't paying atention to Costia in that moment. A huge wave of guiltiness washed over her.

"Come in" Costia said walking to the door.

Lexa put her hands inside her pockets "Are you sure?"

"Don't be childish, Lexa" Costia chuckled.

Lexa gulped and nodded.

The house was really nice but Lexa was really nervous. She had never been with Costia like that. Well, she had never been _like that_ with anyone.

Costia just smiled reassuringly when they sat on the couch on the living room. She put a strand of Lexa's hair behind her ear "You know. We don't have to do anything, if you're not sure"

Lexa gulped again "Is just...I'm sure, Costia. But..." she gulped again "I've never...you know..." she blushed.

Costia chuckled and Lexa rolled her eyes.

"Is not funny" Lexa protested.

"Sorry" Costia said smiling "Is just...you're so sweet, Lexa"

Lexa lowered her gaze blushing again. When Costia tried to touch her eyebrow, Lexa grabbed her hand to stop her. 

It was maybe stupid, childish. But she didn't feel comfortable when the girl did that.

Clarke was the only one allowed to do it. Then Lexa wondered what the blonde could be doing in that moment. 

Probably going through her notes about the upcoming calculus test. And chewing the end of her pencil while doing it so. One of her old habits.

"Lexa?" Costia asked worried.

Lexa shook her head "I spaced out, right?"

Costia nodded and frowned. She pulled back her hand, remindming how Clarke traced the scar that same day. On the benches when Lexa went to recover the ball. And how Lexa smiled at the blonde.

"Lexa" Costia sighed "If you're not sure, then--"

"No, I'm sure" Lexa blurted out before she could regret it.

Costia observed Lexa for a moment. She stood and offered her hand to the brunette.

Lexa swallowed and took Costia's hand. The girl guided her upstairs, to her bedroom. 

Lexa was sure. She was sure she wanted to be with Costia. She was sure about all of this.

Whatever she was feeling for Clarke was nothing but a temporary crush. Everyone had one of those at 16. Especially with a friend. Typical teen crush.

It was only that. It was temporary. It was nothing important. 

She kissed Costia and let herself to be lead to the bed.

 

~~~

 

"You're very quiet. Are you ok?" Costia asked with raspy voice.

"Yeah" Lexa turned her gaze to the girl lying beside her "I was just thinking"

Costia smiled and snuggled closer. Resting her chin on Lexa's shoulder before kissing her cheek "About what?"

Lexa licked her lips and ran her fingers along Costia's bare back "Maybe I should head home now. Gustus will get mad if I sleep out without telling him"

Costia scowled "Are you gonna leave me alone in this big house?" her tone was light and joking-like.

"No" Lexa shook her head feeling suddenly bad "I'm sorry. I'll stay with you"

Costia chuckled and rested her head on her hand, looking down at Lexa "It's ok if you don't wanna stay, Lexa" she traced the brunette's stomach with a fingertip.

"Is just..." Lexa chewed her bottom lip "Gustus is a cop and he..." she sighed closing her eyes "I don't want an interrogation during breakfast, that's all"

Costia looked behind her, at the alarm clock on her nightstand "It's too late to walk home alone now"

Lexa stared at the girl. Her long black hair was disheveled, her lips bruised, and her brown eyes were looking back at her with serious concern.

"You're right" Lexa finally stated "I'll deal with Gustus tomorrow"

Costia smiled happily and bent her head to kiss Lexa sweetly. Then she settled with her head over the brunette's shoulder again.

Lexa wrapped an arm around the girl and kissed her forehead softly. She sighed and stared at the ceiling for a long time.

Costia fell asleep in her arms and Lexa was still awake. And still looking at the ceiling.

 

~~~

 

Knowing Anya and Gustus would be having breakfast on the kitchen, Lexa slowly and silently opened the front door and tip-toed along the living room, hoping to make her way to her bedroom upstairs without getting caught.

Anya clearing her throat behind her made her flinch and turn around slowly to face her.

"Good morning. Something to declare?" Anya raised her eyebrows.

Lexa jumped from the first stair and walked in hurry to her sister " _Shh_ " she hissed "Where's Gustus?"

Anya rolled her eyes unamused "On the kitchen. You really think you're getting out of this so easily?"

"I'll go to my room, take a shower and change my clothes" Lexa said like it was the best plan ever.

"You're wearing your clothes from yesterday" Anya chuckled shaking her head "You think you're so mature and adult. It's hilarious, really"

Lexa clenched her jaw "Shut up" she whispered angrily before turning around to ascend the stairs.

She wasn't counting with seeing Gustus there. In his police uniform. With a very serious face.

Lexa smiled nervously "Good morning" she said the first thing it came to mind.

"What's going on, Lexa? Where did you sleep last night?" he asked without playing around.

"I just...I was with Costia...and she... asked me to stay...with her. That's all" she opened her arms in surrender. She could hear Anya trying to stifle her laugh behind her.

"That's all?" Gustus asked more firmly "Do you think I'm a idiot, Lexa?"

"No...but..." Lexa shook her head and licked her lips. She finally ran a hand along her hair and sighed "I'm sorry, ok? I should have call you"

"You should" Gustus nodded, still serious as a heart attack "But you didn't"

"I'm sorry" Lexa lowered her gaze. She was feeling very dumb in that moment.

Gustus sighed tiredly "Go to shower, come on. The breakfast is on the kitchen. Hurry up"

Lexa simply nodded and ascended the stairs slowly. 

What a walk of shame.

Inside her room she yawned and, for a moment, contemplated the possibily of not showering. But after what happened last night...

She found herself blushing, because well, what happened last night was kinda life changing.

Lexa rolled her eyes at her own silliness. But yes, it was important. And it changed everything between Costia and her.

A knock on the door broke her train of thoughts. She sighed and took off her jacket "I'm on it, relax"

"Lexa? It's me" 

Clarke. It was Clarke. And Lexa was feeling way too nervous about facing her. She was supposed to tell her? To talk about it with her?

Biting her lower lip she opened the door. Clarke was there with a little smile, and wearing a lovely sundress Lexa never saw before. 

And it was blue. It matched her eyes.

Lexa smiled back without couldn't help it.

Clarke frowned funnily at the brunette "Good morning. You look tired" she observed.

"Good morning. Yeah" Lexa moved away from the door to let Clarke inside. She scratched her neck nervously and unsure "I was about to get in the shower"

Clarke was surprised at that "Oh. I'll wait downstairs, then"

"No, no" Lexa shook her head "Wait here. No problem"

"You didn't call me last night" Clarke grabbed one of the brunette's hands and brushed her thumb over her knuckles.

Lexa smacked her forehead with her free hand "I'm sorry. I forgot about it"

Clarke chuckled "Lexa, what's wrong? You're acting all weird"

"Nothing" Lexa shrugged with a way too obvious fake smile.

"I know you" Clarke smiled getting closer to the brunette "You're acting like when you broke my ceramic cat when we were 10 and you tried to hide it from me"

Lexa licked her lips "It was an accident"

Clarke laughed and stared at the brunette. She ran her hands along her long curly hair lovingly "You can tell me anything, you know that" she hugged Lexa, inhaling her scent and then...

Clarke pulled back and frowned at Lexa. 

That wasn't her scent. Or at least in wasn't only her scent. That perfume...she knew it. It was Costia's. The girl was always wearing it and leaving a trail behind her. Clarke didn't like it. It was too cloying.

Clarke stared at Lexa for a moment. Her face serious. She took a step back.

"What?" the brunette looked honestly confused at her friend's expression and attitude.

"You...that's not your perfume" Clarke didn't know if she was sounding demanding, sad, rude, or all that at the same time.

The brunette swallowed "I...well..." she then shrugged with a shake of her head "It happened, ok?. It's not like I have to hide it"

Clarke couldn't explain it, but she felt so hurt by that, that she stepped back and looked at Lexa in disbelief.

"Ok, that...that came out wrong" Lexa tried to apologize "I'm sorry"

"You don't owe me any explanation, Lexa" Clarke shook her head. Her blue eyes were stinging. She had never felt so stupid in her life like in that moment "You don't have to tell me"

"I wanted" Lexa tried "I just...I don't know...I don't know how to tell you this"

Clarke nodded sadly, noticing Lexa was sounding really frustrated. The blonde's eyes were now clouded with tears "I guess we can't tell each other everything anymore"

That was unexpectedly sad and upsetting.

"Clarke..." Lexa tried to touch the blonde, but she stepped back again.

"I get it" Clarke said around a lump in her throat "I get it, Lexa. It's normal. We're not kids anymore. We don't have to share everything"

Lexa's green eyes were burning at that point "Clarke..." she tried again.

The blonde shook her head "It's fine. I'll see you on class" and she turned around to leave.

"No, wait" Lexa grabbed Clarke by the arm, to turn her face to her.

"I have to go" Clarke hated how her voice broke. 

Lexa dropped her hand and Clarke turned around again.

"Griffin, please" Lexa begged on the verge of tears.

But Clarke was already crying and too upset to reply her _Don't call me Griffin_ to Lexa.

This time she did leave.

 

~~~

 

The last couple of days were unbearable.

It was like a line was drawn between the two friends. And maybe Clarke was right and they were too old to share everything with each other like when they were kids. But it didn't hurt less.

Lexa sighed there lying in her bed. It was past midnight and she was fully awake.

She grabbed her cellphone from the nightstand to check if Clarke sent her a text or something. 

But nothing.

Lexa gripped the phone on her hand tightly, and for a moment was tempted to throw it against the wall. But instead she dropped it caressly over the nightstand again.

She looked at her left. At the stuffed monkey resting on the chair. Mr. Monkey, like she named it when she was 10 and Clarke gave it to her for her birthday.

The brunette slip out the sheets and sat over the edge of the bed, grabbing Mr. Monkey and hugging it against her chest.

"Everything was so easy when we were 10" she whispered to the stuffed animal "Why things can't be easy and uncomplicated like back then?"

Mr. Monkey stared back at Lexa with his unbothered smiling face and dark shining eyes.

"Yeah" Lexa bit her lower lip and looked at her window "Growing up sucks big time"

She took a big breath while looking at the window a little more. Then she gazed back at Mr. Monkey and nodded "Wish me luck, old friend" she said putting the stuffed animal over the chair again.

She grabbed a jacket and put it on over her pajamas. Then opened the window and scrutinized the darkness.

She started to climb down.

 

~~~

 

Clarke wasn't truly sleeping. At least she wasn't deeply asleep when she heard the little _clicks_ on her window.

The blonde frowned because the small noise wasn't stopping. So she turned on the lamp on her nightstand and looked at the glass with a frown.

More clicks followed and Clarke grunted when she stood from the bed "What the hell" she whispered annoyed.

She drew back the clear curtains and opened the window, squinting her blue eyes to try to see in the middle of the darkness.

She gasped and widened her eyes when she spotted Lexa under her window. There on her back garden and throwing little pebbles against the glass.

The brunette smiled when she saw the blonde, and Clarke hated how her heart began to pump excited and happy at the sight.

"What are you doing?" Clarke tried to keep her voice low and quiet "Do you know what hour is it?" 

"Let me in. We need to talk" Lexa whispered back.

"You're crazy. It's too late. I don't want to wake up my parents"

"I'll climb up"

That sounded both like a threat and the most cute offering. Maybe because Lexa was smirking in that way of hers.

"Don't you dare, Lexa" Clarke tried.

But the brunette was set up, and already climbing up along the bindweed under Clarke's window.

"Stop it! You're gonna fall!" Clarke was truly scared Lexa could hurt herself.

"I'm a little bit rusty, I admit it" Lexa looked up smiling "But I'm a natural talent"

"Oh God" Clarke gasped with fear.

When Lexa reached the small cornice under the blonde's window Clarke quickly grabbed one of the brunette's hands to help her get inside.

But Lexa was indeed a little rusty because she tripped with the window sill and fell onto the floor.

"Oh my God!" Clarke exclaimed trying to contain her voice and kneeling beside the brunette "Lexa, are you ok?"

Lexa was lying on her side, and looked up at Clarke with wide eyes. The brunette began to laugh softly and Clarke joined her without couldn't help it.

They looked at each other for a moment, until their laughter subsided and turned into soft smiles.

"Get up, silly" Clarke stood helping the brunette to do the same "It's a miracle my parents are still asleep"

"I'm like a ninja" Lexa smiled proudly.

Clarke rolled her eyes "Yeah, a clumsy ninja"

"Hey!" Lexa scowled, pretending to be offended.

Clarke glanced back at her bedroom door when Lexa spoke again.

"Clarke. We need to talk"

Clarke walked to the door and opened it slowly to take a look outside, to the hall and to her parents bedroom. Everything was dark and calm, so they still were asleep.

The blonde sighed and closed the door. She turned around and sat over the edge of her bed. Lexa knelt before her and grabbed her hands with her own.

"I'm sorry" the brunette began.

Clarke shook her head "You don't need to apologize, Lexa. I overreacted"

"Clarke--"

"No" the blonde stared at the brunette's honest green eyes "I have no right to know about your relationship with Costia. That's something between you two. It's...private. None of my business"

Lexa sighed and clenched her jaw slightly "Clarke, you're my best friend. You can ask me about whatever you want. I don't want to keep anything from you"

"This is different, Lexa" Clarke lowered her gaze sadly.

Lexa tugged gently at Clarke's hands and pulled them against her chest "You told me about you and Finn"

Clarke cringed at the mention of her ex-boyfriend "I didn't tell you everything. Just...a little synopsis"

The blonde couldn't help the smile forming on her lips at Lexa's amused, gentle laugh. She could feel the brunette's heart pumping under her hands, that were still against her chest.

"Best friends talk about this kind stuff all the time" Lexa offered.

Clarke smirked and chuckled "Do you really want to talk about this? About...sex?" she blushed against her will.

Lexa shrugged "I think there's too much pressure on every girl's first time"

Clarke chewed her bottom lip "I agree"

Lexa smirked at the blonde. Clarke simply rolled her eyes and pulled back her hands from Lexa's.

"Let's get inside, come on" the blonde laid down on her bed, leaving space for Lexa to join her. The brunette took off her jacket, dropping it to the floor and did what the blonde told her.

Clarke covered their bodies with the blankets.

They were laying face to face. Clarke put some of Lexa's long hair away from her face. Lexa smiled and grabbed that same hand, lacing their fingers together.

Clarke whimpered when she felt Lexa rubbing her cold feet against hers "Your feet are frozen"

The brunette smirked "Yeah I almost died out there. All because of you"

Clarke rolled her eyes "I'm flattered" she rubbed her warm feet against Lexa's.

"Good. At least my sacrifice was not in vain" Lexa replied cheekily.

Clarke chuckled "You're so silly"

After long minutes of silence, in which they just stared at each other, Lexa brushed her thumb over Clarke's knuckles and spoke again.

"The first time is supposed to be memorable"

"Yeah" Clarke huffed.

Lexa smirked "But 99% of the times is a big fail"

Clarke chuckled "Where did you get those statistics?"

"Common knowledge" Lexa shrugged with a pout on her lips.

Clarke freed her hand from Lexa's and traced the brunette's scar on her eyebrow sweetly "Always a smarty pants"

"I was too nervous" Lexa began. She bit her lip and licked her lips "I really...well, I didn't know what to do" she scratched her neck nervously. A slight blush covering her cheeks.

Clarke snuggled closer to the brunette and covered that shade-pink cheek with her hand "That's normal. I was the same"

"Yeah" Lexa gulped "But...the straight sex is more... _rudimentary_. It's not exactly rocket science, you know"

Clarke could help but laugh, making Lexa frown.

"It's true" the brunette protested.

Clarke was smiling so hard that her cheeks were starting to hurt. She brushed her thumb over Lexa's cheek softly and the brunette wrapped her arm around the blonde's waist.

"You're so cute" Clarke whispered lovingly "A smarty pants, but the cutest one"

Lexa blushed again and lowered gaze shyly "Well thank you"

"My first time wasn't memorable neither" Clarke said softly.

Lexa's green eyes fixed into the blonde's blue ones "Really?"

Clarke scoffed and nodded "The less memorable 5 minutes of my life"

Lexa widened her eyes and broke into to laugh. Clarke had to put her hand over the brunette's mouth to prevent her from waking up her parents.

"Shh" Clarke whispered trying not to laugh too. But she was failing miserably.

When the blonde pulled her hand back Lexa gazed at her funnily "Geez, I'm so happy to be gay"

Clarke couldn't hold back a chuckle and hit Lexa on the shoulder playfully "I thought you said it wasn't memorable"

"I didn't say that" Lexa raised an eyebrow "I said I was nervous and didn't know what to do. But...practice makes perfect" she ended with a cocky smirk.

Clarke grunted and hit the brunette in the shoulder again "Idiot"

Lexa shrugged with a smug expression.

They continued snuggling in silence for long minutes. Lexa felt like a heavy weight was lifted from her shoulders. And she was so glad to have Clarke.

The blonde was her best medicine against sadness.

Clarke ran a fingertip along Lexa's neck. The brunette shivered and complained about being ticklish. Clarke simply smiled softly and moved her finger to her friend's jawline.

Blue eyes conected with green ones and Clarke sighed.

"Do you love her?" the blonde asked becuse she needed to know. 

Lexa arched her eyebrows at the question "I..." she gaped not really sure about what to say. Did she loved Costia? It was a question she never asked herself. Love was a big word.

"You don't have to tell me" Clarke whispered trying to pull back her hand from the brunette's face. But Lexa grabbed it and looked into the blonde's eyes seriously.

"I don't know" it was the truth and the most honest answer Lexa could offer.

Clarke nodded and cupped the brunette's cheek, looking deeply into her green eyes. She knew she was being honest. Her eyes always talked for her.

Lexa finally sighed "I...maybe I should go home"

"Do you want to freeze out there?" Clarke tried with a little smile "Stay"

Lexa stared at Clarke before smirking "Ok"

Clarke smiled again. This time a big, happy smile. And turned around, resting her hand over Lexa's on her stomach.

The brunette moved closer so they were spooning. Lexa smiled nuzzling the blonde's nape. And her smile turned bigger when Clarke squirmed and linked their fingers together.

"Go to sleep, silly" the blonde said with a mix of amusement and love.

"Goodnight, Clarke" Lexa whispered feeling the blonde's hair tickling her nose. She couldn't help but smile and close her eyes.

"Goodnight, Lexa" Clarke tightened her hold around the brunette's hand.

After some minutes of silence Clarke assumed Lexa was finally asleep. But then she whispered one last thing.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Griffin"

Clarke smiled and bit her lip. Her heart doing somersaults inside her chest.

"Don't call me Griffin" she whispered back.

Lexa's little chuckle against her neck sent shivers along her spine.

 

~~~

 

On Lexa's 17th birthday, Gustus and Anya prepared a big party at home. Abby made the cake and Jake took pictures of literally everything. To the point where Anya called him paparazzi.

Lexa chuckled when Clarke put her present over the table with the others.

"If it's another stuffed animal I'm ending this friendship, Clarke" Lexa teased.

Clarke rolled her eyes "Why are you like that? You still have Mr. Monkey on your bed. You love him"

"I do" Lexa walked to Clarke "But only because it reminds me of you"

Clarke shook her head with a grin "Are you calling me ugly?" she retorted.

"No" Lexa said honestly. She encircled the blonde's waist "Just cuddly and fluffy, that's all" she shrugged with a playful smirk.

Clarke swatted the brunette on the arm softly "Silly"

Lexa chuckled and kissed the tip of the blonde's nose sweetly "And how dare you to call Mr. Monkey ugly, Clarke? You're so insensitive"

The blonde laughed happily and pinched Lexa's side softly "Stop teasing me"

"I can't wait to sprawl cake all over your face" Lexa whispered mischievously.

"Don't, Lexa" Clarke warned "We're not kids anymore"

Lexa pouted and Clarke felt her heart melting.

"Ok, maybe not all over your face. But just a tip?" Lexa smiled.

Clarke shook her head chuckling "If you do that I'll kick your ass"

Lexa arched her eyebrow "Oh yeah? I would like to see you try, Griffin"

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the brunette "Don't call me Griffin" she growled.

Lexa laughed and Clarke tried to get free of the brunette's embrace. But Lexa hugged the blonde tightly and kissed her nose again. They stayed like that. Resting their foreheads together and embracing tightly.

Clarke played with a lock of dark hair "Why are you so annoying?" she asked.

Lexa smirked sideways. That smirk that was so hers "Because you look beautiful when you're mad" she replied cheekily.

Clarke felt herself blushing at the brunette's words, gaze and smirk.

Lexa kissed sweetly the blonde's forehead and then her nose "I'm glad to spend another birthday with you, Clarke" she said honestly.

Clarke smiled happily. She kissed the brunette's eyebrow softly.

"Lexa?" Anya called from the living room. She entered the kitchen. Clarke and Lexa looked at her but didn't break their embrace. Anya arched her eyebrow with a little smile "Costia is here"

Lexa gazed at Clarke. The blonde was the first to pull back. Lexa just stood there and Clarke avoided the brunette's eyes.

"We should go" Clarke said walking out the kitchen.

Lexa sighed loudly and followed the blonde.

 

~~~

 

Lexa laughed when she opened Clarke's present. A new pair of soccer shoes.

"For your big final" Clarke declared with a big smile.

The brunette hugged the blonde tightly and kissed her cheek.

"I'm definitely gonna win now" Lexa smirked pulling back and looking at Clarke lovingly.

"Silly" Clarke shoved the brunette playfully.

Costia observed the two friends from the spot where she was. She took a sip of her glass and looked around to the other guests.

She then looked at her gift for Lexa. A dark denim jacket, that was now resting over one of the chairs while Lexa was busy explaining Clarke something about her brand new soccer shoes.

The blonde was listening attentively as Lexa showed her the shoe sole and pointed at something there. Then Clarke chuckled when Lexa made a joke and grabbed a stray of long chestnut hair to put it behind her ear.

Costia walked to them and smiled at Clarke. She grabbed Lexa's hand and linked their fingers together.

"When are we gonna eat some cake? I'm starving" the girl asked gazing at Lexa.

"Oh right!" the brunette looked at Gustus and nodded "Cake now!"

Clarke shook her head and laughed softly. Lexa looked back at the blonde and shrugged with a smile.

"Come here, sweetheart" Jake beckoned at Lexa "I want a picture with you and the cake"

Lexa chuckled amused "Sorry" she said to Clarke and Costia "My fans are claiming me"

Clarke rolled her eyes and shook her head amused while watching Lexa walk away.

Clarke then was there, with Costia. And the girl was gazing at her with a indecipherable smile.

The blonde was contemplating to scape when Costia spoke.

"You know, she's really nervous about the final" she took another sip of her drink "Your gift probably makes her even more nervous. You're putting too much pressure on her now"

Clarke frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. She felt her angriness growing at Costia's words and accusation "What are you talking about? She's not nervous at all. She wants to win, of course, but she's not obsessed with it"

Costia shrugged "Maybe she doesn't want to tell you. Maybe you don't know everything about her"

They stayed there, in the middle of the living room, glaring coldly at each other. 

Clarke could feel herself about to snap "Maybe you are the one who doesn't know a damn thing about her"

"It bothers you" Costia said after observing the blonde for a moment.

Clarke frowned at the girl.

"That you're not the only one anymore who Lexa comes to when she's insecure or have a problem" Costia continued "It bothers you more than you want to admit"

Clarke felt her blood boil. Because how dared she? She knew Lexa better than anyone. And she knew the brunette would always trust her. No matter what.

But at the same time Clarke felt absurdly insercure and hurt because what Costia was saying was too painful and true. She hated not to be the only one for Lexa anymore.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the girl. She was fuming "You don't know me. You know nothing about me" she growled softly.

"I know you care about Lexa" Costia replied "I know she's your best friend--"

"I've been by her side since we were 5" Clarke cut Costia with firm voice "I was there when she fell from the centenary tree, when she almost drowned at 9 for jumping into a way too deep pool, when her parents died in car accident and she was so traumatized that she spent weeks crying everytime she had to got in a car. She closed her eyes tightly during the whole drive and only calmed when I held her hand. When the doctor prescribed her reading glasses at 13 she locked herself in her room and only wanted to talk with me. I convinced her to open the door and assured her that she looked absolutely beautiful with the glasses, because it was true" Clarke was starting to shake with rage and emotion "Even with all her insecurities and doubts she always made me feel secure and special" her blue eyes were rapidly filling with tears "And she still does. She's my safe place, my rock, my anchor..." she had to gulp down the lump in her throat "And you have no right to assume anything about me and our friendship. You have no right!"

Costia looked taken aback and Clarke had to wipe her tears with the back of her hand.

 _"Whoa!"_

They both gazed at Lexa who was overly excited about the present Gustus just gave her.

"Clarke look!" the brunette had a key on her hand and a big smile on her face. She walked to the blonde "A car! I can't believe it!"

Clarke swallowed down her discomfort, praying for Lexa didn't notice that she had been crying. She offered a little smile to the brunette.

Lexa frowned, feeling something was off with her best friend "Are you ok?"

The blonde nodded and chuckled "I'm just...emotional. I'm so happy for you"

Lexa smiled again "It's second hand, you know. But it's amazing!" her green eyes were sparkling with happiness and for Clarke was impossible not to smile genuinely. Lexa made her happy. Lexa always made her happy, no matter what.

"You deserve it, Lexa" the blonde said honestly.

Lexa laughed again and hugged the blonde. Jake called them for a picture together with the cake. Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand and led her to the table, where they posed smiling at the camera.

It was incredible how Lexa could instantly make the blonde feel better after feeling so utterly bad just a couple of minutes before.

Lexa cut a slice of cake and offered it to Clarke. The blonde kissed the brunette's cheek while Lexa continued cutting slices.

Costia took hers with a dull expression on her face. But Lexa didn't even noticed because she was threating Clarke with smudging her face with the frosting. 

Clarke rolled her eyes and batted the brunette's hand away. Finally Lexa dipped her index finger on the chocolate cream and painted the blonde's nose with it.

Clarke growled and stained the brunette's cheek with the cream too, while she was distracted looking at Jake, who continued making pictures.

"Hey!" Lexa protested gazing back at Clarke.

"You started" Clarke shrugged, savoring a bite of the cake.

"It's delicious, Abby. Thank you" Lexa smiled at the woman, cleaning her cheek with a napking.

"You're more than welcome, honey" Abby chuckled and helped both Clarke and Lexa to clean the mess on their faces.

Lexa gazed at Clarke and smiled at her while chewing down the cake. Clarke couldn't help but chuckle and brush her thumb along the corner of the brunette's mouth, cleaning a little stain of chocolate.

Lexa thanked her and then looked at the car's key with a big goofy smile "I don't know where to drive first" she muttered, like to herself.

"How about if you take me home?" Costia offered, claiming the brunette's attention. She felt like she was invisible to her. And that was starting to make her mad.

Lexa glanced at Clarke and nodded "Good. Let's go"

Costia smiled and began to walk to the door.

"I'll be back as soon as I can" Lexa explained Clarke "Wait for me" her eyes searching for the blonde's blue ones "Please? I wanna take you somewhere"

Clarke observed Lexa for a brief moment before nodding "Ok"

Lexa smiled happily and kissed the blonde's cheek tenderly.

 

~~~

 

After leaving Costia at home, Lexa drove back to find Clarke waiting for her on the porch. 

It was already dark but the way Lexa's heart jumped seeing Clarke was there, waiting for her like she asked her, was indescribable.

Pure happiness mixed with excitment, and pure love. 

The blonde flashed a cute little grin and Lexa smiled back before leaving the car.

"Your carriage awaits, Mrs. Griffin" the brunette declared with poshy voice.

Clarke laughed and walked to Lexa. She wrapped her arms around her and felt the brunette doing the same.

They stayed like that for a while.

Lexa sighed with content and nuzzled the blonde's cheek, making her smile.

"Don't you want to try my super sexy new car?" Lexa asked mischievously.

Clarke chuckled and pulled back a little to look at Lexa smiling face "Absolutely"

The drive was long and Clarke frowned watching a familiar scenery appearing before her eyes. And smiled because she knew where Lexa was taking her.

She gazed at the brunette to see her smirking knowingly "Are you planning to try again?" the blonde asked.

Lexa laughed and shrugged "Maybe" she glanced at Clarke.

When Lexa stopped the car Clarke was the first to step out and take a long breath.

Lexa put some music on the car's radio and followed Clarke.

The centenary tree looked exactly the same. Maybe not so tall as when they were kids, but definitely big and impossing.

"I won't climb it. I promise" Lexa said standing by the blonde's side "It's too dark to see properly" she wrinkled her nose cutely.

Clarke laughed and grabbed the brunette's hand. Lexa kissed her forehead when she rested her head on her shoulder.

The quiet music coming from inside the car was the perfect companion for such a nice moment like that.

"Did you have a good time on the birthday party?" the brunette asked suddenly.

Clarke tensed a little and Lexa must noticed, because she gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yes" the blonde exhaled in a whisper.

"What Costia told you?" Lexa asked again, more seriously.

Clarke swallowed and sighed. She walked to the tree, hugging herself and leaving Lexa behing with a concerned, serious expression.

"She was mean to you?" Lexa's tone was hard.

Clarke closed her eyes and bit her lower lip "No" she lied "No. She was...I think she kinda hates me" she turned around "I don't know why. I'm sorry" she lowered her gaze sadly.

Lexa sighed and got closer to Clarke. She put her index finger under the blonde's chin to softly bring her sad gaze to her "I know you, Clarke. I know you're upset by something"

Clarke sighed with frustration "Maybe she's right and I'm...I'm too pushing, too possessive with you"

Lexa gazed at the blonde like she was absolutely crazy "What? You can't be serious"

"She's your girlfriend, Lexa. I can't expect to be your first priority anymore" Clarke explained with sadness and frustration "And I shouldn't ask you to choose or to be with me when you...when you have to be with her"

"Clarke--" Lexa tried but the blonde was not done.

"It hurts. Of course it hurts" Clarke's eyes filled with tears "And I feel like I'm pathetic because I miss you...and I'm just...I don't know..." she broke down and started to sob.

Lexa took the blonde in her arms, hugging her tightly and feeling her own eyes burning seeing her like that.

"I'm sorry" Clarke whispered shakingly. She buried her face into Lexa's neck.

A new song began and the soft music surrounded the two friends like another warm hug.

"You'll always be my priority, Clarke" Lexa whispered to the blonde.

"Don't say that, please" Clarke replied with thick voice "We'll go to College, and marry and have kids and...we'll distance from each other. It's only normal"

Lexa hugged the blonde more tightly, like never wanting let her go "No" she said firmly "You'll always be my best friend" she pulled back to look into her watery blue eyes "Forever, remember?" she cupped the blonde's face.

Clarke shook her head softly and stepped back "Things don't work like that, Lexa" she lamented.

"Well, then we'll make them work like that" Lexa licked her lips gazing at Clarke seriously.

The blonde smiled softly "I don't how you do it, but you always make me feel so good. Even when all I want to do is lay down and cry" she cupped one of the brunette's cheeks.

Lexa smirked and rested her hand over the blonde's on her cheek "It's a gift" she tried to joke.

" _You_ are a gift. The best I could ever ask for" Clarke declared lovingly.

Lexa smiled and pulled the blonde into her arms again. Kissing her cheek and forehead sweetly.

"Sorry for ruining your birthday" Clarke whispered.

Lexa chuckled "Are you kidding? It was beyond perfect"

Clarke smiled against the brunette's neck and nuzzled it softly.

Lexa sighed happily, sure she and Clarke would always be together no matter what. 

What kind of crush was that? Was even a crush anymore? 

Lexa's mind was racing, but also made a mental note to talk with Costia the next morning.

Clarke kissed the brunette's scar on her eyebrow tenderly. Lexa smirked closing her eyes. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she almost missed the little kiss Clarke planted on the corner of her mouth.

Almost.

Because when she felt the blonde's soft lips touching hers, even ever so slightly, she shorted out.

Clarke was looking at her with those beautiful blue eyes, and that gentle smile on her lips and she just...she completely melted.

Lexa smiled back tentatively and Clarke rested her forehead against hers.

When they returned to Lexa's house they ate some cake's leftovers. They laughed, joked and cuddled on the couch.

But Lexa was still recovering from that almost kiss, noticing she couldn't recover and didn't want to indeed.

A crush? Lexa wanted to laugh at her stupidity.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize for the delay. I had problems with my computer and this chapter took me too much time to write.
> 
> I'm hoping the next one won't take too long (it's not finished yet).

The soccer field was packed because it was the great big final. Lexa was growing nervous with each passing second. With her sport bag over her shoulder she smiled briefly at Costia at the locker room entrance.

"Good luck" Costia said smiling and kissing the brunette softly "Score one goal for me"

Lexa nodded and swallowed. She liked to have her girlfriend's support, but she was missing Clarke. The blonde was late and that made her even more nervous.

After talking with Costia and asking her to be more _friendly_ with Clarke and try to, at least, have a civilized relationship with her, the girl changed her attitude towards the blonde. And even if Lexa knew her girlfriend and best friend would never be good friends, being in good terms with each other was all Lexa asked.

"Hey sis" Anya said appearing from behind Costia.

"You're late" Lexa said altered "I can't believe you were about to miss the final, Anya"

Anya rolled her eyes "Don't be so dramatic, Lexa. I'm here"

Lexa gulped "And Clarke?"

Anya leaned her shoulder against the wall with a tiny smirk seeing how Costia irked at the mention of the blonde. She was sure her sister didn't even noticed.

"She's with Gustus, Jake and Abby on the benches"

"Oh" Lexa suddenly felt down. She wanted to see Clarke before the game. She needed to see Clarke.

"You're gonna do great, Lexa" Anya reassured her sister "We all are here for you"

Lexa nodded and clenched her jaw.

"We'll see you later" Anya said kissing her sister's cheek before turning around and leaving.

Lexa was still lost in thoughts when Costia cleared her throat to catch her attention.

"Go for the championship, Lexa" Costia declared smiling.

Lexa just nodded one last time before walking to the lockers room. Costia frowned at her girlfriend's attitude.

Lexa changed into her soccer ensemble and collected her long hair in a ponytail. Then she took off her necklace. She stared at the small golden half heart, brushing her thumb over it gently. She gave it a soft kiss and put it inside her locker, with the rest of her things.

When Lexa followed the rest of the team along the tunnel she couldn't help but feel sad. There she was, just one step away for winning the state championship and all she could think about was Clarke.

The sun blinded Lexa momentarily when she stepped on the soccer field. The coach called her, but then she heard someone else calling her name too. She turned around and saw her. Clarke. On the first row, smiling brightly at her and waving her hand cutely.

Lexa excused herself and ran to the blonde's side. She was smiling happily, like a total idiot, and she couldn't help it.

"Clarke" 

The blonde stood and put a small lock fallen from the ponytail behind the brunette's ear gently "Good luck"

Lexa smiled "I thought I wouldn't see you"

Clarke frowned "How could you think that, silly?" she chuckled "I didn't want to distract you"

"But you're distracting me now" Lexa grinned.

Clarke rolled her eyes "Go for them" she ended with a smile.

Lexa felt her heart swell as she looked at the blonde's bright blue eyes. She leaned and kissed her on the cheek, lingering a little bit more than necessary.

"A good luck kiss" she declared with a foolish smile.

Clarke grinned and kissed her back "Bring that damn trophy home" she instructed making Lexa chuckle.

Their gazes were locked when the coach called Lexa more loudly. The brunette nodded and Clarke sat again.

The game was tough. Lexa ended on the grass a couple of times, each one of them Clarke felt her heart skipping a beat. The blonde even closed her eyes when the brunette hit the floor. It was too much for her.

The rival team scored first. And Lexa's team ended the first half losing 0-1. Clarke smiled at Lexa when she passed by her side and into the locker room at the end of the first half.

The second half was better. Lexa took the leadership of her team and scored the 1-1. Everybody went crazy. Even Clarke jumped from her seat and screamed happily.

In the last minutes Lexa kicked the ball in a corner and one of her team mates scored with the head the 2-1. The roar from the audience was incredible and Clarke was almost crying of pure happiness.

She was so happy for Lexa. And so damn proud of her.

When the arbiter blew the whistle signaling the end of the match, everybody screamed and jumped. Lexa got trapped in the middle of her team mates in a massive hug. The brunette saw Clarke from the corner of her eye and disentangled from the scrum. She ran to the blonde and hugged her tightly. She even lifted her from the floor and swirled her around making her laugh.

"Good game" Clarke said when Lexa put her on the floor again "I'm so proud of you, Lexa" she said cupping the brunette's face.

"Thank you, Clarke" Lexa could felt a blush on her face "Thank you for always being by my side, for always believing in me" she swallowed with emotion "For being the best friend ever"

Clarke felt tears in her eyes "You're gonna make me cry, silly" she chuckled.

Lexa smiled and engulfed Clarke in another hug. Soon both her families were there, and Gustus and Jake lifted the brunette into the air and sat her on their shoulders making her laugh.

Abby was recording everything and Anya was shaking her head with a little smile on her lips.

When Gustus and Jake put Lexa back in the grass Costia walked to the brunette. Lexa simply smiled and Costia grabbed the back of the brunette's neck, and pulled her in for an intense kiss.

Abby stopped the camera and cleared her throat softly. Gustus widened his eyes, surprised and unsure about what to do or say. Anya simply rolled her eyes.

Clarke lowered her gaze. She felt her father's hand on her shoulder and looked up at him, finding his gentle blue eyes. Jake gave her shoulder a firm squeeze and turned his gaze to Lexa, who now was pulling back from the kiss with certain embarrassment.

"Come on" Gustus said after clearing his throat "We have a victory to celebrate"

"Yes. Let's celebrate" Costia said happily, grabbing Lexa's hand and lacing their fingers together.

Clarke's blue eyes found Lexa's green ones over Costia's shoulder.

 

~~~

 

Clarke squealed adorably when Lexa grabbed her for behind and embraced her tightly.

"You scared me, silly" the blonde protested hitting the brunette's arms gently.

Lexa was static after winning the championship and Gustus threw a big party for all the team in their house. He and Jake were making a barbecue on the garden, and everybody was having a great time.

"Such a chicken" the brunette tickled Clarke making her squirm and laugh softly.

"Stop it!" Clarke turned around in Lexa's arms and loved seeing her so happy and cheerful.

"What were you looking for?" Lexa asked with a smile.

"Oh" Clarke exclaimed, reminding what she was doing there in the kitchen "The bottle opener for my father. You know he only drinks that disgusting import beer"

Lexa chuckled and opened one of the drawers "Anya put it on here" she gave the opener to the blonde "She brought a guy home a few days ago, and they drank some beers before Gustus came back from work and fulminated them both with his death stare"

Clarke laughed quietly "Oh poor them. Who's the guy, by the way?"

Lexa shrugged "He looks like a drowned rat with tattoos"

Clarke laughed again, more loudly and amused this time "Oh" she said suddenly "Bring some ice" she instructed the brunette.

Lexa nodded and Clarke walked outside, to the back garden. The brunette hummed quietly and opened the freezer to grab the ice, when she felt a pair of arms encircling her waist.

"Not a very good scare" Lexa smirked.

"I didn't want to scare you" Costia replied amused.

Lexa turned around in the girl's embrace "Sorry" she disentangled gently from her girlfriend "I thought you were Clarke"

Costia forced a smiled and watched Lexa grabbing a bag of ice from the freezer "I was thinking we could go to the movies tonight"

Lexa tilted her head "I was expecting to relax and rest after the great victory" she offered a tentative smile.

Costia just shrugged "Sure. I just want to spend time with you" she got closer to Lexa and ran her index finger over the brunette's chest "It's been a while since we've been together alone"

Lexa licked her lips and smiled briefly "Yeah, but..."

"But?" Costia raised her eyebrow seriously.

Lexa swallowed and licked her lips again "Is just...we have a tradition. Me and Clarke"

Costia rolled her eyes and pulled back from the brunette.

"Please, don't be mad" Lexa tried "We always watch a movie and eat popcorn after the soccer season is over. We started doing it when we were 11. I lost the last match of the season and Clarke wanted to cheer me up, so she made popcorn and put a movie and we--"

"You know what?" Costia raised her hand, effectively stopping Lexa "I don't care. Have a great night with Clarke. It's not like I'm your girlfriend and all"

"Costia" Lexa tried again "Come on"

But the girl was already walking out the kitchen door.

Lexa sighed with frustration.

 

~~~

 

Clarke laughed when Wells jumped into the pool, taking Stef, a girl from Lexa's team, with him. Both Clarke and Lexa were more than sure that Wells and Stef had more than a simple friendship going on. And they also made a great couple.

The blonde shook her head and turned her gaze to Lexa. The brunette was standing there, near the drinks table, eating a hot dog, and looking at no place in particular.

Clarke walked to her friend and smiled when she stopped in front of her. Lexa arched her eyebrows and licked the rests of ketchup from her lips.

"You don't look like you just won the state championship" Clarke chuckled.

"I didn't win it alone, Clarke" Lexa shrugged and took a sip of her soda.

The blonde rolled her eyes "You know what I mean"

"I'm...relaxing. Enjoying the quietness" Lexa replied, going for another bite of her hot dog.

"You're hiding. I know you, Lexa"

The brunette half-sighed, half-grunted and that made Clarke smile. Sometimes it was fastidious to know each other so well.

"Tell me" Clarke said softly, turning more serious "What's going on?"

Lexa glanced at Costia, who was sitting in one of the garden chairs, and then looked at Clarke again. The blonde was wearing a red bikini top and denim shorts, in case she wanted to jump into the pool like many others were doing.

"I..." Lexa began and stopped, opening and closing her mouth "I'm confused" at Clarke's questioning gaze she elaborated a little more "About Costia"

Clarke nodded gently and sat beside Lexa, on the edge of the table "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lexa looked at Costia again and clenched her jaw. She sighed and turned her face to Clarke "Do you want a bite?" she asked softly.

Clarke smiled and went for it. Lexa protested because the blonde's bite was too big for her taste.

"You ate the half" Lexa whined.

Clarke shook her head, still chewing and swallowing down "You're such a crybaby, Lexa. I'll take you another one"

Lexa narrowed her green eyes at her best friend. She put the half hot dog over the table and cleaned her hands on her jeans "It's on"

"No, no, no, Lexa" Clarke stepped away from the brunette "What are planning?"

"Come on" Lexa smirked, her green eyes sparkling with mischief "Don't be a _crybaby_ "

Clarke didn't have time to escape, and squealed loudly when Lexa took her in her arms and ran to the pool carrying her, in between breathless laughs.

Clarke whimpered and shook her legs, encircling the brunette's neck with both arms before Lexa jumped into the pool, making everyone to clap and cheer. When they reemerged into the surface Lexa was laughing happily and Clarke splashed her face several times, scolding her in between giggles.

"You're the worst!" Clarke splashed the brunette's face one last time. But her blue eyes were shining looking back at Lexa.

Lexa laughed amused, closing her eyes and trying to reach the blonde again. Clarke pushed the soaked long hair away from the brunette's face, and shook her head with a little grin "Look at you" she said "Now _you_ look like a sewer rat"

Lexa scoffed "Should I bring you a mirror?"

Clarke rolled her eyes and pushed the brunette away, shoving at her shoulders playfully.

"You better get out and dry yourself" Anya said to her sister, walking to the edge of the pool "Jumping with your clothes on. Are you 12?"

Lexa rolled her eyes and got out, helping Clarke to do the same "Do you want to try, Anya? I can help you if you want" the brunette turned to her sister again.

Anya raised an eyebrow "And I can kill you in your sleep"

Lexa chuckled and Clarke shook her head with a little grin. 

"I'm gonna take off this shorts" the blonde announced "Thank you, by the way" she sarcastically said giving Lexa a little, gentle slap on her cheek.

Lexa stuck out her tongue at the blonde "You paid for it, hot-dog criminal!"

A towel hit Lexa on the face out of nowhere. Gustus appeared in front of her and nodded "Go change if you don't want to catch a cold"

Lexa dried her face with the towel "It's almost summer, so I doubt it"

Gustus arched his eyebrows and pointed at Lexa. The brunette laughed softly while running inside the house.

After changing into a more comfortable dark shorts and a white shirt, Lexa descended the stairs while still drying her long hair with a towel. She wasn't expecting to find Costia standing there.

"Hey" Lexa said carefully.

Costia smiled and moved closer to the brunette "Nice...short act" she helped Lexa to dry her hair "It's also a tradition between you two?"

It was the tone, dry and scornful, that made Lexa to step back from the girl. She put the towel over her shoulders and stared at Costia.

"Costia, look...I know you're mad, and probably rightfully so" Lexa clenched her jaw "But don't be so mean Clarke is my best friend"

Costia almost rolled her eyes, but instead crossed her arms over her chest " _Clarke, Clarke, Clarke_ " she parroted angrily "You're like a goddamn broken record!"

Lexa frowned at the girl's outburst.

"Lexa..." Costia tried again "I love you" she exclaimed with frustration "I love you, but you don't care"

Lexa parted her lips in surprise. But she didn't say a word. She stood there staring at Costia.

The girl let out a humorless laugh and ran her hand over her long black hair. She shook her head and then looked back at Lexa "You will always put her first. She will always be your number one girl"

Lexa was unable to fight back. 

Because it was true. It was all true.

Costia sighed and bit her lip. Her dark eyes filled with unshed tears "If I tell you we're over...will you fight for us?"

Lexa had to swallow down the lump in her throat. She simply lowered her gaze. Sad, ashamed and angry with herself.

Costia nodded and sniffled "I wish you luck, Lexa. The best of luck" her lower lip trembled "You're gonna need it"

And like that she left, leaving Lexa there.

Minutes later Clarke found the brunette sitting on the couch. Her head was down and her eyes fixed on her lap.

"Lexa" Clarke whispered.

The brunette raised her green eyes to the blonde, and Clarke immediately ran to her side, kneeling in front of her.

"Lexa" she repeated grabbing the brunette's hands. Her blue eyes searched for the green ones, and then laced her fingers with Lexa's. The brunette looked so...lost "What's wrong?"

Lexa gulped "Costia left me" she said arching her eyebrows, like wondering what the hell what's going on anymore "And I can't blame her"

Clarke was wrapped around a orange towel. The straps of her red bikini top were visible, but nothing more.

"How are you?" the blonde asked sitting beside Lexa. A hand still in hers.

Lexa shrugged "She told me she loved me" she chuckled without a hint of humor. She turned her gaze to Clarke and sighed "I couldn't say it back. I feel like I'm the most despicable creature on this planet"

"No, Lexa" Clarke tightened her hold around the brunette's hand "You're not despicable. Saying _I love you_ without feeling it would have been despicable"

Lexa shook her head and covered her face with her free hand "You know what's funny?"

Clarke shook her head slightly. Her blue eyes fixed on her best friend.

"I don't feel bad. What kind of person don't feel bad after a break up?" Lexa gazed at Clarke with so much confusion in her eyes that the blonde pulled her for a hug.

Clarke buried her nose into the brunette's neck "You're not a bad person, Lexa" she whispered reassuringly to her.

The brunette simply chuckled and wrapped her arms more tightly around Clarke "I think you may be biased"

Clarke smiled and rubbed her nose against the brunette's cheek before facing her "Of course I am. I'm your best friend"

Lexa smiled softly "Yeah. I think...I'm very lucky" she replied thinking about what Costia told her before leaving.

Clarke just smiled and hugged her again.

 

~~~

 

On Clarke's 17th birthday Lexa gave her a collage of pictures of them both. Since they met on kindergarten until now.

"They're copies" Lexa explained "I would never cut or ruin the originals. They're our history"

Clarke hugged Lexa tightly, with a big smile on her lips "Thank you, Lexa. I love it. I'll put it on the cork board in my bedroom" she said looking at the collage happily.

"I was counting on it" Lexa smirked.

After the party Lexa asked Clarke if they could do a sleepover like when they were kids. And Clarke couldn't refuse. How could she?

In bed they snuggled together and Lexa ran her fingers absently along Clarke's hair.

"Gustus want me to go to a soccer camp this summer. On the coast" Lexa whispered calmly.

Clarke frowned and raised her head from the pillow "You want to spend the summer on a soccer camp?"

Lexa smirked with a shrug "If I want to play soccer on College I need to get ready for it"

Clarke felt the uneasiness gathering on her chest "Are you gonna go?" she asked more sadly than she intended.

"No" Lexa immediately sat over the mattress "No" she caressed the blonde's hair, looking deeply into her blue eyes "I'll tell him I don't want to"

Clarke shook her head and swallowed hard "No, Lexa" she licked her lips realizing she couldn't do this to her best friend. Even if her heart was breaking with the idea of not seeing her in 2 months "You should go. It's good for you"

Lexa cupped one of the blonde's cheeks "I don't want to be away from you. We always spend the summers together and...and go to the mountains to camp, and swim on the lake, and watch the stars, and eat ice-cream for dinner..."

Clarke shook her head again and covered the brunette's hand on her cheek with her own "It's good for you, Lexa" she said honestly.

"But..." Lexa bit her lower lip "...You'll always come first" she declared, making good what Costia accused her of.

Clarke smiled softly and embraced Lexa, feeling how the brunette wrapped her arms around her protectively.

"2 months will pass in the blink of an eye" Clarke whispered.

Lexa finally sighed, loudly, and kissed the blonde's cheek "But we still have 3 weeks before I leave. And I want to spend them entirely with you, so we better start making plans now"

Clarke pulled back from the embrace to look at Lexa's honest and expressive green eyes "Camping?" she offered with a little smile.

"Of course" Lexa nodded seriously "Whatever you want, Clarke. Say it and I will obey" she said with exaggerated formality.

Clarke giggled and jumped into her arms, making them both to fall over the mattress "You're so silly" the blonde muttered sweetly.

Lexa smiled and tightened her hold around Clarke, and kissed the top of the blonde's head tenderly, that was now resting over her chest "I love you so much"

Clarke closed her eyes briefly, with a dumb tiny smile on her face and moved upwards a little so her head rested on the brunette's shoulder. That way they could look into each others eyes.

"I love you too, Lexa" she whispered.

The brunette smiled and kissed her forehead before they settled to sleep.

"This 3 weeks must be the best of our lifes" Lexa said determined.

Clarke rested her hand over the brunette's chest gently, and grinned softly when she felt Lexa nuzzling her forehead "I'm sure they'll be"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I'm sorry for the long wait. I had a writer's block and I've been sick lately. Hopefully I'll be back on track soon.
> 
> Thanks for the patience, the comments and the kudos. Hope you like this chapter :)

"Come on, Clarke! You're so slow!" Lexa called the blonde with a teasing smile, invoking her inner 8 year old self.

Clarke grunted when she reached the brunette up the mountain "We've only been here for 2 hours and I already want to kill you" she panted, bending over and resting the palms of her hands on her knees.

Lexa laughed and turned her gaze to the left "Come on. I want to camp beside the lake"

Clarke grunted again "Alright"

After having a movie marathon every night during the past week, now camping and sleeping under the stars was next.

They were really condensing an entire summer in 3 weeks. And even if they both felt a little sad about the upcoming separation, they also were enjoying every moment together.

After they settled the camp they sat over a blanket on the grass and began to prepare the bonfire.

"We have marshmallows and..." Clarke looked inside a bag "Sausages?" she frowned turning her blue eyes to Lexa.

The brunette smiled while fanning the fire "And some ham and cheese sandwiches too"

Clarke snorted "We're only staying here for 4 days. It's too much"

"A diet based only on marshmallows and water is not good, Clarke. I also brought some canned corn and fruit" Lexa continued with her eyes fixed on the now perfect bonfire.

Clarke chuckled and rolled her eyes "You're incredible"

"That's what she said" Lexa smirked cheekily.

Clarke grunted and shoved the brunette a little, making her laugh softly.

After eating some marshmallows around the bonfire they laid down to look up at the stars.

"I want to swim on the lake tomorrow" Clarke informed.

"Ok" Lexa replied.

"We'll eat the fruit for breakfast" Clarke continued.

"Ok" Lexa shrugged.

Clarke smiled and turned her face to look at the brunette's profile "Are you gonna say ok to everything?"

Lexa turned her face to the blonde too "Depends"

Clarke raised an eyebrow "On what?"

Lexa smirked "On what you want to propose"

A little smile appeared on the blonde's lips "What if..." she pretended to think "...I propose you to swim on the lake right now?"

Lexa scowled "Now?" she didn't sound convinced "It's too dark"

Clarke laughed softly "Come on" she sat over the blanket "Are you scared?" she teased.

Lexa narrowed her green eyes at the blonde and sat over the blanket too "Nothing scares me"

Clarke giggled amused "Well then" she took off her tank top, revealing a dark blue bikini top.

Lexa widened her eyes and parted her lips. She was sure she was staring way too much. But her eyes had a mind on their own and that bikini top was looking so good on Clarke and...

"Lexa?" the blonde called the brunette's attention.

Lexa gulped and gazed at the blonde's face. The brunette couldn't help but blush a little.

Clarke smiled "Are you in?"

"Yeah" Lexa licked her lips "In. I'm in" she then took off her white shirt. Her bikini was yellow and, she was very sure, mush less sexy than the blonde's one.

"Come on! You're the slow one now!" Clarke exclaimed excited running to the lake.

Lexa chuckled and followed her into the water.

After no more than 10 minutes (it was a little cold), the girls went back to the blanket and dried themselves before changing and getting inside the tent.

Lexa yawned and Clarke chuckled softly.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" the brunette asked, closing her eyes and lying on her side.

Clarke laid down looking at Lexa "We definitely need to pay a visit to the centenary tree. It's a tradition"

Lexa smirked still with her eyes closed.

"But no climbing" Clarke said firmly "You've hear me?"

Lexa yawned again "Don't worry, Griffin" she was already falling asleep.

Clarke smiled and got closer to the brunette. Feeling her arms surrounding her in a warm embrace.

"Don't call me Griffin" she whispered.

 

~~~

 

The next day started with Clarke almost having a heart attack when she opened her blue eyes and saw a bee inside the tent. She shook Lexa' sleeping form, but the brunette simply grunted softly. The bee moved closer to Clarke, and being allergic as she was, she screamed in panic, waking up Lexa instantly.

The brunette, still a little dozy, _fought_ with the bee while Clarke hid under the blanket. Lexa did everything she could to kick out the damn little insect. A soft yelp made Clarke to get out of her hiding place.

Lexa was complaining and zipping up the tent after expelling the bee. The brunette winced and covered her left elbow with her hand.

"Lexa!" Clarke knelt by her side, quickly examining the sting. The brunette's elbow was red and swollen "Oh God" the blonde gulped "I...I have my first aid kit...on my backpack" she began to search for it frantically.

Lexa grunted and sat on the tent floor "Of course you brought it" she said with much more endearment than sarcasm.

"You can thank me later" Clarke returned to the brunette's side and started to treat the sting.

" _Ouch_ " Lexa whined.

"Stay still, Lexa" Clarke said seriously.

"It hurts" the brunette complained.

"I know" Clarke felt incredibly guilty and shook her head "Thank you. You literally saved my life" she fixed her blue eyes on Lexa's green ones.

Lexa was ready to roll her eyes but instead whined again when the blonde put band aid over the sting "And you say I'm dramatic" 

Clarke smiled softly "You're the best friend in the world. I hope you know that"

Lexa smirked and lowered her gaze shyly.

Clarke sighed "We better stay here today"

"No" Lexa protested "I'm fine"

Clarke stared at her best friend and sighed again "First we need to eat something"

Lexa's smile was definitely the best way to cheer her up.

 

~~~

 

After eating the breakfast they grabbed their backpacks and began their walk.

"How is your elbow?" Clarke asked taking a look at the band aid.

Lexa chuckled "It's good, Clarke. Relax"

But the blonde shook her head "What would have happened if you had been allergic too?"

"I would be dead right now" Lexa shrugged.

Clarke stopped right away and Lexa turned to look at her with a frown on her face.

"Don't say that, Lexa" Clarke said seriously.

The brunette got closer to the blonde "I'm sorry" she offered honestly "But you don't have to worry, ok? I'm fine" she ended cupping her friend's cheek.

Clarke hugged Lexa tightly, burying her nose into her neck and sighing when the brunette wrapped her arms around her.

"Come on, slow ass" Lexa teased, breaking the moment.

Clarke chuckled and shoved Lexa playfully.

After they arrived their destination Lexa stretched the blanket and laid down with a loud sigh.

"Tired already? You're getting old" Clarke smiled grabbing her camera from her backpack.

Lexa covered her face with a hand "No pictures, Clarke" she complained.

The blonde giggled amused "I need a proof that Lexa Woods is human and gets tired like everyone else"

Lexa growled and sat over the blanket "I'm hungry" she pouted and Clarke seized the moment to snap a picture of the brunette like that. 

Lexa growled again and rolled her eyes. Clarke laughed and sat by her side "Don't be mad, silly. You looked so cute, I couldn't help it"

"You're gonna pay for this" Lexa pointed at the blonde with a finger. Clarke swatted the offensive finger away and searched for food inside her backpack.

It was a lovely sunny day and they ate enjoying the calm. Lexa looked up the centenary tree biting her lower lip.

"No" Clarke said by her side.

Lexa chuckled and turned her gaze to the blonde. She was eating her sandwich, with her legs crossed. Her blonde hair was up in a bum, with some strands falling gracefully over the sides of her face and her forehead.

Lexa didn't miss the way her heart did flips inside her chest. She moved forward and dropped a brief kiss on the blonde's cheek.

Clarke turned her face to Lexa and smirked "What was that for?" she asked softly.

Lexa shrugged "For taking care of me. I'll be climbing the tree if it wasn't for you". It wasn't the truth, of course. But it was better than saying how much she loved her, and how incredible was to be with her.

Clarke shook her head "I can't believe I still have to babysit you. What would you do without me?" she smiled gently, tracing the small scar on the brunette's eyebrow.

Lexa didn't even want to think about it. Because without Clarke her life was just darkness. The blonde illuminated everything with her blue eyes, her smile, her laugh, her mere presence...

Lexa smirked "And what would you do without me? Who would fight bees for you and get almost killed by one while saving you?" she couldn't help but tease the blonde.

Clarke rolled her eyes "You're so silly. I'm gonna eat all the fruit by myself for that offense"

Lexa gasped pretending to be hurt "You're breaking my heart, Clarke" she said seriously "In fact I'm dying and it's all your fault" she collapsed over the blanket closing her eyes.

Clarke rolled her eyes again and looked down at the brunette, hovering over her "Lexa" she demanded tugging at her best friend's arm. She sighed seeing she was really playing dead and shook her head "Are you gonna force me to give you CPR?"

Lexa's lips curled up in a quick, brief smile before turning serious again.

Clarke chuckled softly and bit her lip looking down at the brunette. Sometimes she was so silly that she truly wanted to smother her with kisses and tell her how a lovely idiot she was. _Her_ lovely idiot.

Lexa murmured something and Clarke frowned "What?" the blonde asked.

Lexa couldn't help the tiny smirk on her lips before she spoke more loudly "Mouth-to-mouth" she pursed her lips with her eyes still closed.

Clarke felt her heart jumping and smiled "I see. So...you want me to perform a mouth-to-mouth and a CPR on you" she nodded and Lexa did the same.

Lexa half-opened one eye before playing dead again.

Clarke bit her lower lip and straddled the brunette's legs "I think I have a better idea" she tapped her chin and smiled deviously.

Before Lexa could react she was being tickled mercilessly. She laughed and squirmed under Clarke. 

The blonde continued her torture while laughing happily. The sound of Lexa's laughter and squeals were music to Clarke's ears.

"Ok! Stop!" Lexa gasped in between laughs "Stop!"

Clarke finally relented and observed her best friend trying to regain her breath. A cute little smile gracing her full lips.

"You almost killed me, Griffin" Lexa panted.

"Oh, but I thought you were already dead" Clarke played along "And don't call me Griffin"

Lexa chuckled and grabbed the blonde's hands, pulling her down, practically on top of her. Her long fingers soon finding Clarke' sides and tickling her.

The blonde's laughter filled the place and Lexa smiled brightly as Clarke fought to set herself free, and finally rolled to her side, gasping for air.

"Silly" Clarke hit Lexa on the arm and continued gasping with her eyes fixed on the blue sky.

Lexa found the blonde's hand and laced their fingers together as they were lying there in silence.

"I wanted to show you something" Clarke said after a while and sat over the blanket.

Lexa did the same and looked at the blonde searching inside a small pocket on her backpack.

Clarke smiled "Here" she announced and showed Lexa a picture.

"Oh boy" Lexa giggled.

The picture showed them both as kids, standing in front of the centenary tree with equal big smiles, and their hands interwined.

"Remember this day?" Clarke asked sitting beside the brunette.

"Of course" Lexa laughed softly and then gazed at Clarke with a little smile "We were 10. The first summer after I gave you the half heart" she pointed at the picture, where both were wearing said necklace.

Clarke smiled too and her blue eyes fell over the picture "That night your father and my father scared us making spooky noises outside the tent" she chuckled reminding.

Lexa laughed softly "And my mother was so mad. I thought she would hit them with the fry pan"

Clarke laughed too observing the picture a little more. Then moved her gaze to Lexa. The brunette smirked gently, and a little nostalgic.

"I'm sorry" Clarke said suddenly "I shouldn't..." she shook her head.

"It's ok, Clarke" Lexa said honestly, giving the blonde's thigh a little squeeze "There's nothing bad in remember them"

Clarke's blue eyes got misty and she gulped "I think you're so strong, Lexa. And so brave" her voice faltered.

Lexa got teary eyed too and sighed. She wrapped an arm around the blonde's shoulders and pulled her closer. Their temples resting together.

"I wouldn't have make it without you" the brunette whispered sincerely.

Clarke gulped down the lump in her throat. She remembered laying in her bed with Lexa. Holding her while she cried brokenly. And crying with her. Waking up in the middle of the night to find her sobbing and trembling by her side.

Clarke lived day and night worried about the brunette. Lexa was so sad and inconsolable that Clarke was honestly scared to death to lose her.

"I miss them" Lexa said "I miss them every day. But I'm lucky to have you, you know"

Clarke gulped again and nodded. She gazed at Lexa and her heart broke seeing those beautiful green eyes filled with tears "I'm lucky to have you too"

Lexa smirked gently and kissed the blonde's nose. Clarke sniffled and hugged the brunette, encircling her waist with her arms and burying her face into her neck.

They stayed like that for like what it seemed hours. Finding comfort on each other.

"I have an idea" Clarke spoke. Her voice thick and still affected.

"Tell me" Lexa said looking at Clarke. She put some blonde hair behind her ear gently.

"How about if we recreate the picture?" the blonde smiled sweetly.

Lexa smirked and wipped the last remains of tears from the blonde's cheeks with her thumbs "Sounds great"

They both took their half hearts from inside their shirts and stood in front of the centenary tree. Clarke grabbed her camera and placed it over a rock. Then she ran to Lexa's side and laced her fingers with hers.

They exchanged an accomplice gaze before looking at the camera with a smile.

"Say _cheese_ " Lexa murmured, making Clarke laugh.

 

~~~

 

Back at the tent they felt tired but happy. They ate the sausages after roasting them over the fire, and washed their teeth on the lake's shore.

Clarke yawned resting by Lexa' side.

"You're pooped" the brunette said.

Clarke closed her eyes and chuckled.

Lexa sighed and rolled to her side, to look at the blonde's relaxed face "What you want to do tomorrow?" she asked gently.

Clarke yawned again "Pictures" she mumbled. It was impossible to keep her blue eyes open anymore "I want to take more...pictures..."

Lexa smirked and put her arm around the blonde's waist, feeling how she immediately moved closer to her and sighed with content.

In the middle of the night Lexa slowly awoke, feeling her mouth dry. She needed to drink some water, but she was so comfortable laying there, spooning Clarke and feeling her warm skin under her fingertips...

Lexa tensed and opened her eyes widely when she noticed her hand was resting over the blonde's bare stomach. During the night, and totally unaware, Lexa slid her hand under her best friend's shirt.

The brunette retracted her hand like if it was burning. She licked her lips feeling her mouth even more dry than before. 

She quietly sat and ran a hand over her tousled hair, silently chastising herself.

Clarke sighed softly and Lexa tensed again. She closed her green eyes and rubbed her temples slowly.

" _Lexa?_ " Clarke rasped suddenly.

The brunette looked at the blonde's back and touched her shoulder gently "I need water" she whispered soothingly.

Clarke sighed again and continued sleeping.

Lexa carefully stepped out the tent and took a long breath. She drank all the water she could from one of the bottles they had inside their backpacks. She splashed her face a little too.

When she got back inside the tent she gazed at Clarke for a brief moment before laying by her side. This time giving her back to the blonde.

During long minutes she couldn't help but think how the thought of touching Clarke threatened with burst her chest with pure exhilaration and happiness.

 

~~~

 

Clarke woke up first the next morning. She felt overheated and something was tickling her nose.

When she slowly opened her blue eyes she saw she was laying half on top of Lexa. Her leg was thrown over the brunette's, her hand resting gently over her chest, and her nose buried into her long hair.

Lexa's face was turned away from her, exposing her long elegant neck and that killer jawline that Clarke always thought it was a work of art.

Clarke felt too hot and noticed Lexa's shirt had gone up a little during the night, and the blonde could feel the brunette's toned stomach against hers. Her hand ached to rest there and immediately she felt guilty for feeling that. But she didn't want to move, so she closed her eyes again and sighed softly, milking the moment as much as possible.

She heard Lexa's little mumble and smirked against her shoulder. Then the brunette stirred slowly, with a tiny grunt.

"Good morning" Clarke said, way too comfortable on the position she was.

Lexa grunted again "Good morning"

"Move your lazy ass. There's so much to do" Clarke instructed before raising her head to look down at the brunette.

Lexa stirred wrinkling her nose cutely and finally opened her green eyes. She found her favorite blue ones looking down at her and smirked softly "What did you do with my best friend?" she asked teasingly.

"Shut up" Clarke chuckled before resting her head on the brunette's shoulder again.

Lexa wrapped her arms around the blonde and closed her eyes again. After a couple of minutes of silence Lexa spoke again.

"We need a little shower first"

Clarke scoffed "Are you implying something?"

Lexa nodded with a tiny smirk "I didn't want to hurt your feelings, Clarke. But now that you say it..."

Clarke pinched the brunette's side making her giggle and yelp softly.

"Come on" the blonde sat and smiled at her friend.

Lexa groaned before nodding "Okay, okay"

 

~~~

 

Clarke chuckled seeing how Lexa couldn't stop yawning.

They were on the lake, washing themselves. The water was great and the day was hot, so it was perfect. They were wearing their bikinis and nothing more.

"Didn't you sleep well last night?" Clarke asked as she rinsed out her blonde hair.

Lexa's eyes avoided the blonde and focused on the water "It was too... _hot_ " she mumbled.

"Yeah" Clarke sighed looking up at the blue sky "And today is even hoter"

They decided to stay on the lake for a little more. Lexa climbed a small tree near the shore and jumped into the water, despite Clarke's complains and scolds. When the brunette surfaced she began to swim after Clarke, who continued complaining and scolding her.

After a while they left the water and Clarke yelped hiding behind Lexa. An unsolicited bee appeared again and the blonde wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist from behind, hiding her scared face in between her friend' shoulders.

Lexa laughed a little. Which costed her a hit on the back. But she grabbed a towel and scared the bee away.

"All clear" Lexa announced. The amusement evident in her voice.

Clarke grunted and shoved Lexa a little, walking to the tent.

"Hey!" Lexa protested following Clarke "That's how you thank me for saving your life?" she was teasing her, of course. She couldn't help it.

"You were laughing" Clarke accused pointing at the brunette with her finger.

Lexa chuckled and Clarke threw her a towel, right on the face. Lexa laughed at that and Clarke growled turning around and grabbing her towel to dry herself up.

"Clarke" Lexa said, more seriously. She walked closer to the blonde "Clarke, come on--"

Before she could even finish what she was trying to say Clarke turned around and smudged all her face with mud. Lexa opened her mouth in surprise and disbelief. She tried to wiped out her face with her hands, with very little succes.

Clarke laughed amused, basically crying with laughter "Now we're even" she was cackling.

Lexa growled and gritted her teeth. Clarke shrieked when Lexa ran after her. The brunette soon grabbed the blonde and lifted from the ground, carrying her to the lake.

"Lexaaaaa!" Clarke yelled when the brunette threw her into the water.

Lexa pointed at the blonde "Now think about what you've done!"

Clarke laughed and gripped the brunette's hand, pulling her down with her "Wash your dirty face!"

Lexa laughed too and shook her long soaked hair like she was a dog, making Clarke laugh louder.

"I'll grab the soap" the blonde said, smiling widely.

Lexa rolled her eyes and let Clarke to wash her face. The brunette submerged her head into the water to rinse out the soap.

Clarke looked at Lexa with endless amusement and put her soaked long dark hair behind her ears gently "That's it. Much better"

Lexa pouted "You're a terrible friend, Clarke"

The blonde chuckled and pushed the brunette playfully. Lexa grew serious and alarmed and Clarke tensed at that.

"Lexa--" the blonde began only to be silenced by the brunette.

" _Shhh_ " Lexa hushed her "Clarke, don't move" she whispered seriously.

Clarke gulped hard "What's up?"

Lexa looked over the blonde' shoulder "A bee. Behind you"

Clarke whimpered softly and Lexa hushed her again.

"Move slowly" Lexa licked her lips. Her green eyes still fixed over the blonde' shoulder.

Clarke practically jumped into Lexa's arms, hugging her tightly and whining. Then Lexa started to tickle the blonde, making her yelp and squirm in her arms. Clarke growled beyond mad and Lexa laughed softly.

Clarke pushed the brunette away from her with a firm shove, making her fall into the water. "You're horrible!" she exclaimed angrily walking to the shore while Lexa continued laughing behind her.

 

~~~

 

"Do you want more?" Lexa asked, offering another marshmallow to Clarke.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not talking to you" the blonde replied not looking at the brunette.

Lexa sighed "I told you I'm sorry. Do you want me to get on my knees? Because I will"

Clarke hid the little smile creeping on her face and continued roasting her marshmallow on the bonfire.

"Clarke" the brunette tried softly. But seeing her friend was not relenting she growled "You're so damn stubborn"

Clarke snorted "That's rich"

Lexa growled again, running a frustrated hand over her face "Are you really gonna ignore me these last days we can be together?"

Clarke felt the uneasiness in her stomach at the prospect of spending the summer apart from Lexa.

"You're playing foul" the blonde muttered.

Lexa knelt in front of Clarke "I'm playing all the cards I have left. Please Clarke, forgive me. You know how a big idiot I can be sometimes" she pouted adorably and Clarke melted.

The blonde rolled her eyes and shook her head. She hugged her best friend, nuzzling her curly hair and sighing feeling how Lexa settled between her legs and wrapped her arms around her waist. She smiled softly when the brunette kissed her cheek sweetly.

Clarke sighed and Lexa moved backwards to look at her face.

"Sometimes you annoy me so much that I could kill you" the blonde declared.

Lexa chuckled "That's what best friends do, right? Annoy each other"

Clarke tilted her head with a little smile "Yeah. But you must have set a record"

Lexa chuckled again but a sound coming from the woods alerted her.

"What?" Clarke whispered, starting to get nervous.

Lexa gazed at the blonde "Stay here" she whispered back.

"Lexa, what are you gonna do?" Clarke hissed.

But Lexa took her flashlight from her backpack and was already walking slowly to the place where the sound was coming from.

"Lexa!" Clarke jumped to her feet and ran after the brunette "Don't get in there" she pleaded while tugging at her hand.

Lexa pointed the flashlight at the trees and a loud crack made her and Clarke to hold hands tightly.

"Hey!" Lexa called out.

Clarke licked her lips. Her heart was beating so fast she felt almost sick.

Then something came out of the woods and both girls jumped startled. The small animal screeched and ran into the opposite direction. Lexa exhaled and put the flashlight down. She looked at Clarke, who looked honestly astonished.

"Just a raccoon" Lexa said.

Clarke broke into laughter and Lexa joined her.

 

~~~

 

The next day the did a little trip around the mountains. They saw all kind of animals and Clarke took hundred of pictures.

At night they began to pack since in the morning they would return home. After eating the last trace of food they had, they got inside the tent.

"It wasn't that bad, wasn't it?" Lexa asked taking off her sneakers.

Clarke grinned "It was great"

Lexa yawned and stirred a little before laying on her side. Clarke laid down too, looking at her sleepy face.

"This last week I want you to try to cook with me" the blonde declared softly.

Lexa pouted a little but nodded "Ok"

Clarke smiled and put some of the brunette's hair away from her face.

 

~~~

 

Coming back home was fantastic. Especially sleeping in their actual beds.

Clarke took a long, warm shower and Lexa literally collapsed on her bed and slept all day.

The next day both families had lunch together. Clarke, with a little help from Abby, teached Lexa to make homemade pasta. After mending some small mistakes Abby gave them their blessing. The meal was a big success and everybody congratulated the girls.

The conversation turned into College and the future. 

Clarke gazed at Lexa across the table seriously. It was true they never talked about that. And if the blonde already felt heartbroken about the prospect of not seeing Lexa during the summer, how it would feel not being able to see her during 4 years? (only during the holidays, if they were lucky)

"Are you ok?" Lexa asked softly after the lunch was over and they were cleaning the dishes.

Clarke nodded.

"Clarke" Lexa arched her eyebrows "What's wrong?"

The blonde sighed and looked at the brunette "You said this soccer camp can be helpful for you, to get a scholarship for College"

Lexa smirked gently "Yeah. Many Colleges sent people to these camps. A soccer scholarship would be a dream. I have to work hard"

Clarke nodded again and licked her lips "Where do you want to go?"

Lexa tilted her head and finished drying the plates "Well, it depends. If I receive more than one ofert I would have to think about it, you know. To value what College has the best program. And I'm not talking just about soccer, but about their laws program too"

Clarke nodded again. She knew Lexa wanted to study laws since she was a child. She wanted to be like her mother.

"I'm sure you'll be a great lawyer" the blonde said honestly.

"Yeah but first I need that scholarship" Lexa bit her lower lip "I have to give all I got in the soccer camp"

Clarke smiled softly "I know you will"

Lexa smiled back "What about you? Still want to be another Doctor Griffin?"

Clarke chuckled "Yep. Trauma surgeon. That's the dream"

"That's great" Lexa observed Clarke while the blonde put the cutlery inside the respective drawer "You're gonna be an amazing doctor, Clarke. And I'll definitely need a doctor at home"

Clarke shook her head with a little grin.

 

~~~

 

Stef was not only Lexa's good friend and team mate, she was also a party animal. And the night before parting to the soccer camp she invited half of the highschool to a party at her house to _Welcome the summer_. 

At first Lexa was not sure about it, but she wanted Clarke to have a blast and a great night. She was leaving the next day and wanted to have some fun before focusing on soccer all summer.

So there they were. Clarke was wearing a clear sundress with dark sandals, and Lexa a pair of torn jeans with a white sleeveless shirt.

Clarke even convinced Lexa to dance. And the blonde had to admit she was getting good at it. They jumped, laughed and swirled on the dance floor and finally sat on the living room to take a drink.

"This have alcohol" Clarke winced after taking a sip of her glass.

Lexa almost choked on hers "This too"

Both gazed at each other and laughed amused.

"We're a pair of losers" Lexa chuckled.

"Totally"

"Hey, hey, hey" Stef announced sitting with the girls "Who wants to play to spin the bottle?"

Clarke frowned "Aren't we...a little old for that?"

Stef laughed "You two are the most boring 17 year olds I've ever met"

"We're not boring!" Lexa protested.

Stef chuckled and took a sip of her glass. Then she widened her eyes and put a finger onver her lips "Shhh" she laughed softly "Look" she pointed at a group of people forming a circle in the living room "Seven minutes in paradise. Do you wanna try that?" she asked looking from one girl to another "Or is that too much for your boring asses?"

Clarke grunted and stood from the couch "Come on" she grabbed Lexa by the hand.

Stef cheered and went with them to the crowded living room. A girl and a boy were selected and they entered inside the closet while nervously blushing.

Lexa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, praying for not getting paired with a boy.

"Are you sure about this?" the brunette asked Clarke in a whisper.

The blonde smiled seeing her friend so nervous "Relax. Is just a silly game"

Lexa grunted a little "In case you don't know already, I don't like making out with boys"

"I'm sure you can scape somehow if you don't feel comfortable--"

Clarke didn't have the chance to finish when a choir of " _Clarke and Lexa!_ " filled the place.

Both girls looked like deers caught in headlights and the " _Clarke and Lexa!_ " continued.

"So" Stef smiled with mischief "Are you in or are you out?" she wiggled her eyebrows.

Lexa licked her lips and glanced at Clarke , opening and closing her mouth like a fish "I--"

"We're in" Clarke said firmly. She grabbed Lexa's hand and they entered inside the closet while everybody cheered, howled and clapped.

"What the--" Lexa began.

"Chill" Clarke rolled her eyes and sat on the closet floor, with her back against the wall "This way we can scape this idiotic game and relax a little"

Lexa sighed and sat in front of Clarke. Both stretched her legs and the blonde pinched the brunette's leg through the denim material of her jeans.

"Ouch" Lexa complained with a pout.

"You're welcome, by the way" Clarke smiled. At Lexa's confused expression the blonde continued "For saving you of making out with a boy"

Lexa huffed and rested her head against the other wall "Thank you" she put her hand over the blonde's ankle, and rubbed small circles with her thumb over the skin. She gazed at Clarke as the blonde sighed and put some of her hair behind her ears. She looked absolutely gorgeous that night.

After a moment of silence Lexa spoke again.

"Do you think they really believe we're making out?"

Clarke shrugged "I don't know" she grimaced "It's too hot in here" she said fanning herself.

"Just 6 more minutes" Lexa teased making Clarke to roll her eyes.

The blonde finally sighed and looked at the brunette "Are you nervous? About tomorrow?"

Tomorrow. 

Tomorrow Lexa was leaving for the soccer camp at the coast for 2 months.

"Not really" the brunette said shrugging.

Clarke smiled gently. Then glanced at the door and stood, putting her ear against the wood.

Lexa arched her eyebrows and stood too "What are you doing?"

"Trying to listen" Clarke replied. But soon surrendered "The music it's too loud" she began to pace along the small closet.

Lexa rested her back against the door and observed the blonde "Why are you like this?"

Clarke gazed at Lexa with a frown.

"So...altered" the brunette clarified.

Clarke snorted "Don't you care about they could be saying?"

Lexa shrugged "No"

The brunette's green eyes followed the blonde's every movement with interest.

"Maybe we should get out" Lexa finally said "It's obvious you're uncomfortable"

Clarke fixed her blue eyes on the brunette' serious face "It's not like that, Lexa" suddenly she felt incredibly bad and stupid. She walked to her best friend and grabbed her hands, looking deeply into her green eyes "I could never feel uncomfortable with you, don't be silly"

Lexa lowered her gaze "I'm gonna miss you so much...and here we are. Trapped inside a closet when we should be watching a movie together in bed or something like that. It's our last night"

Clarke smiled softly "I'm gonna miss you too" she put some curly chestnut hair behind Lexa's ear and grinned "Did I tell you how cute your ears are?"

Lexa chuckled and blushed prettily "Stop that"

"It's the truth. The cutest little ears ever" Clarke traced one ear with a finger and Lexa squirmed with a soft laugh.

"Stop it" the brunette smirked, moving her face away from the blonde's teasing hands.

Clarke then grew more serious "Two months are nothing"

"Yeah" Lexa nodded.

"And you'll be surrounded by beautiful, athletic girls all summer. So not bad" Clarke tried to tease. But her smile was just a small curl on her lips that disappeared too soon.

Lexa blushed again and Clarke's heart did something inside her chest.

The brunette licked her lips, while momentarily avoiding the blonde's gaze "I'm...not good at...flirting or...talking with girls" she confessed slightly embarrassed.

Clarke had to restrain herself to not plant kisses all over Lexa's blushing face.

"Any girl who doesn't see how special you are is an idiot, Lexa" the blonde simply said.

Lexa chewed her lower lip nervously. She fixed her green eyes on Clarke and the blonde's heart skipped a bit.

"I just..." Lexa sighed and took a big gulp "I wish I could find someone like you"

That it was.

But the long, deafening silence that followed was devastating. And Lexa felt like a big idiot. So she shook her head and looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry" she said with small voice, feeling tears gathering in her eyes "Please, forget what I said"

Before any of them knew what was happening they were kissing. 

Clarke cupped the brunette's face with her hands in a quick movement and pressed her lips against hers. Lexa simply pursed her lips against the blonde's and then looked wide-eyed and flustered when Clarke pulled back.

"I...I'm sorry" Clarke muttered stepping back, blushing, embarrassed beyond words and oh, so sad "God, Lexa, I'm sorry"

The brunette continued frozen in place for a few seconds more. Then she licked her lips and brushed her thumb over the blonde's cheek. She noticed the tears there and made Clarke to look at her before capturing her lips.

The kiss was slow and tentavive, but it ignited something inside the two girls. Something that was overwhelming and unstoppable. Clarke reached for the brunette's face and cupped it while returning the kiss. Lexa rested her hands on the blonde's small back, pulling her even more closer against her.

Someone moaned softly, maybe both of them. But no one stopped kissing.

After what it looked like hours, Lexa pulled back slightly. She nuzzled Clarke's nose tenderly as she changed the angle on the kiss. When she was about to capture the blonde's lips again the closet door suddenly opened, and Lexa fell backwards, hitting her back hard against the floor.

" _Fuck_ " the brunette complained breathlessly, gritting her teeth and feeling tears in her eyes. The collision against the floor was so strong that she was even panting for air, there lying on the ground.

Clarke was standing, still inside the closet. With wide blue eyes and rosy cheeks. Her lips were bruised, still feeling Lexa's on them. She felt scared and embarrassed all of sudden. Everybody laughed or teased them. Stef looked at the blonde sympathetically. The girl wasn't laughing, nor even smiling.

Clarke's blue eyes got blurry and she did the only thing she could in that moment. Running away from there.

" _Clarke_ " Lexa tried faintly. She rolled to her side and rested a hand over the small of her back "Clarke! Wait Clarke!" with a lot effort she finally raised from the floor. She limped a little while rubbing her small back gently "Clarke!"

The blonde sniffled when she ran into the front garden. She dried the tears with the back of her hand.

"Clarke wait!" Lexa called. She gritted her teeth and ran after the blonde, forgetting the overhwelming pain on her back momentarily.

The blonde kept running away and the brunette ran faster.

"Clarke please" Lexa panted grabbing the blonde's arm. She stood in front of her with a deeply worried expression on her face "Please talk to me"

Clarke lowered her gaze and embraced herself. Her lower lip trembled. 

What the hell they were doing?

"It was a mistake, Lexa. Please, let it go" the blonde said softly.

"What? No" Lexa licked her lips. Her green eyes were filling with tears. This time because of another kind of pain "I know...you're scared and...but...Clarke" she cupped the blonde's face to look into her sad blue eyes.

The blonde stepped back and shook her head, closing her eyes briefly "Do you want to ruin our friendship like this?" she fixed her watery blue eyes on her best friend.

Lexa gulped hard "No! That's not--"

"It was mistake!" Clarke exclaimed upset "I don't want to talk about this. Please, let's forget it" she pleaded.

Lexa's green eyes filled with more tears "Clarke..." she choked.

But the blonde was already walking away from Lexa.

The brunette sobbed sadly and sat over the porch stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and sorry for the wait.

**Clarke:** _I'm fine_  
**Clarke:** _We're going to the beach this weekend_

Lexa sighed and fell onto her bunk bed with her phone still in her hand.

Those two messages were the last Clarke sent her. And that was a few days ago.

Since Lexa left for the soccer camp a week and a half before, Clarke was kind of elusive with her. 

The blonde kissed her cheek and hugged her when the brunette was ready to take the bus to the camp. Lexa hugged her back, relieved to see her best friend wasn't mad or feeling weird about what happened.

And what happened was that they kissed. Not an amicable kiss or a silly one while playing some stupid game.

No.

A kiss that could end all the kisses that ever happened in the world.

Lexa closed her eyes for a moment. She smiled softly, despite her sadness at the moment, because...they kissed! She and Clarke! And she still could feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and her chest dangerously close to burst just by thinking about it.

She was also scared to admit to herself that she wanted to kiss Clarke again.

And again. And again. And again.

Lexa grunted and covered her face with her hands.

 _"Do you want to ruin our friendship like this?"_

That question was still haunting her. She felt guilty and heartbroken.

If by feeling what she was feeling would cost her to lose Clarke then...she would bury those feelings deep inside of her, and never let them out.

Clarke was everything. She came first and foremost. End of history.

The brunette sat over her bed and quickly texted something to the blonde.

 **Lexa:** _Have a great time_  
**Lexa:** _Hopefully we can talk later_

Lexa swallowed. A _I miss you_ was floating in the air, but she wasn't brave enough to write it down.

She sighed and dropped the phone over the mattress. She grabbed her half heat hanging around her neck and closed her hand around it. Tightly.

 

~~~

 

"How is Lexa doing?"

Clarke turned her blue eyes from the car window to her mother, sitting on the passenger side.

"What?" the blonde asked with a frown.

"Lexa. How is she doing on the soccer camp?" Abby smiled kindly.

Clarke shurgged "Fine" she answered simply and turned to the window again.

Jake and Abby exchanged a confused look. Clarke was all broody and little talktative since her best friend left to the soccer camp. The blonde was really different from her bubbly, happy self.

"Clarke" Jake tried, looking at her daughter from the rear mirror "We know you miss Lexa. It's normal. You two had not been apart a single day since you met" he smiled.

Clarke didn't seem to react or care about what her father said. She continued looking outside in silence.

"She'll be back in no time, honey" Abby tried too.

Clarke glanced at her phone very briefly. She still didn't texted Lexa back after the brunette wished her a great holidays.

Everything was so complicated and messed up all of sudden. And Clarke was actually glad they were apart for a while. That gave them time to think, to clear their minds and...

It was so awfully confusing. But the blonde could still feel Lexa's soft lips against hers, and that made her heart beat stupidly loud and fast.

The house was nice and very close to the beach. And Clarke immediately collapsed over the bed of her bedroom during the holidays.

She sighed and stared at the ceiling with no intention to move. A soft knock on the door made her sigh again.

"Honey?" Abby said gently and walking to the bed "Don't you want to change and come to the beach with us?" she ended sitting at her daughter's feet.

"I'm really tired" Clarke answered in a dull tone.

"Awww, come on" Abby tugged at one foot softly "An old friend of your father is here too. He has a daughter of your age. Come on, it can be fun"

Clarke grunted and rolled her eyes. Relenting and changing into her dark red bikini to head to the beach.

She met Raven. And Clarke actually liked her. She was fun, spontaneous, sassy and a little cheeky. And made Clarke laugh. Which she really needed.

They decided to see each other the next day, and go around the town.

At night, on the bed, Clarke contemplated to call Lexa. It had been a while since she last heard her voice. Which just happened to be her favorite voice in the whole world.

But it was late and Lexa...she was probably asleep.

Clarke sighed and rolled to her side.

 

~~~

 

After the morning training session Lexa headed to the showers. She needed the comforting and soothing feeling of the warm water on her tired, sore body.

The other girls were there too, but Lexa was growing used to them. Especially to three of them, who also were her roomates at the camp.

Monroe was tiny and energetic. She was a kind of a chatterbox and not even a bomb could wake her up in the mornings.

Luna was tall, even more than Lexa. She was great, but also a little shit who loved getting into trouble. Lexa was constantly telling her she was gonna get everyone expelled from the camp.

Emori was from Brazil. She was one the best players Lexa ever saw, and she was sure she would get a scholarship in no time. She was just _that_ good.

That night the three of them were sitting on their room's floor with their legs crossed, and sharing a bottle of red wine Luna got from God's knows where.

"He was nice and all" Luna said before taking a gulp from the bottle "But I just couldn't stand his stupid attitude" she passed the bottle to Monroe.

"You broke up with him" Lexa supplied.

Luna shook her head softly with a little grin "I sent him to hell with a kick on his ugly ass"

"Good" Monroe approved before drinking for it.

"So Lexa" Emori began "Since you like girls and all that gay stuff" she joked and they all laughed "Any story to share?"

Lexa shook her head and took the bottle Monroe passed her "Not really. I was dating a girl. But she left me" she took a little gulp and grimaced at the taste.

"For the broken hearts" Emori took the bottle from Lexa's hand and raised it in a toast.

"And who's that blonde on your phone then?" Luna wiggled her eyebrows at Lexa with a cheeky grin on her lips.

Lexa shook her head amused "Clarke. My best friend"

"Friend as in _friend_ or are you two...you know, friends who sleep together?" Monroe intervened.

"The term you're looking for is _friends with benefits_ " Luna clarified.

"The term _fuck buddies_ is also accepted" Emori contributed.

Lexa huffed and closed her eyes momentarily while rubbing her temples "She's just my friend" she looked at her new friends "As just friends"

Luna stared at Lexa for a moment. A little smile gracing her lips "Why you look at her picture like if she holds all the secrets of the universe?"

Lexa sighed and rested her back against the bed behind her "Maybe because she does"

"Awww Lexa" Emori gushed "That's so beautiful"

"When did you fall in love with her?" Luna asked just like that.

Lexa arched her eyebrows and gazed at the taller brunette "I'm not...that's not--"

"It's ok, you know" Luna raised her hands "Falling for your best friend sucks big time. I fucking know that" she ended with a sigh.

"But she's straight?" Monroe asked.

Lexa felt helpless and incredibly awkward "I...don't know. I guess"

"Hey, don't worry" Emori patted Lexa's shoulder gently "There's plenty of fishes in the sea"

Lexa pressed her lips together and nodded. 

"For Lexa!" Luna raised the bottle and smiled "May she get laid soon" she chuckled.

Lexa simply rolled her eyes.

 

~~~

 

For some reason Clarke wanted to call Lexa before hanging out with Raven. Instead she sent a quick text wishing her a good day. She huffed at her own bratty attitude.

But that day she just wanted to have fun and forget for a while how messy her life got after that goddamn kiss.

The blonde grunted at that memory that was haunting her. She applied the last trace of make up and went downstairs. She was wearing a light sleeveless pink blouse and white shorts. She cut her hair a few days prior and it was shorter and wavy, and she loved it.

Raven and her went to the local mall, bought a couple of things, ate ice cream and talked and talked about almost everything.

At night they sat on the porch stairs of the house Raven's parents rented for the summer.

"Are you really single?" Raven asked like if she couldn't believe such thing.

Clarke chukled "Yes"

The latina rested her back against the stairs wood's railing. She observed Clarke carefully.

"What?" the blonde asked a little nervous.

Raven simply shrugged. Then Clarke's phone buzzed with a notification.

The blonde took a quick look. It was a text from Lexa.

 **Lexa:** _Have a great day too_

It felt plain. Detached. Cold. 

It felt like it wasn't Lexa at all.

"Who's that?" Raven smiled brightly, pointing at the picture of Lexa on the blonde's phone screen.

Clarke sighed softly "My best friend"

Raven observed the picture for a little while "She's pretty" she declated and looked at Clarke "Pretty _hot_ " she added with a chuckle.

Clarke chuckled too and glanced at the picture.

"Don't you think so?" Raven asked making the blonde to look at her confused "That she's hot?"

Clarke licked her lips and looked at the beach "She's incredibly beautiful. Inside and out"

"Awww" Raven proclaimed "That's sweet. What's her name?"

"Lexa" and Clarke smiled at saying it.

Raven hummed pleased "Even her name is sexy" she gazed at Clarke again "I didn't know you were into girls"

Clarke chuckled nervously "What? I'm not into girls"

Raven pulled a funny face "Oh please. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, my friend"

Clarke felt her face burning and suddenly was sweating "I've never...with any girl. Don't be like that" she put her phone inside the pocket of her shorts.

"Okay, I'm sorry" Raven apologized honestly "I thought--"

"You thought wrong" Clarke crossed her arms over her chest.

Raven nodded "I'm sorry. Again"

Clarke looked at the beach seriously.

"Where is she?" Raven asked after a couple of minutes. At Clarke's frown she continued "Your friend Lexa"

The blonde sighed and licked her lips "She's at some soccer camp on the coast"

Raven grinned a little "And she's an athlete too" she whistled "What a catch"

Clarke snorted "Are you into girls now?"

Raven raised an eyebrow and smirked "Never say never"

Clarke rolled her eyes and grew serious.

"She's gay, right?" 

Clarke gazed at Raven with wide eyes "How--"

Raven shrugged "I didn't. But thanks for the confirmation" she smiled.

Clarke grunted and ran a hand over her short blonde hair.

"Being surrounded by pretty athletic girls 24/7 must be nice" the latina sighed dramatically "I bet she's in paradise"

Clarke's heart shrinked at that "You don't know her" she started softly "She's really shy and sweet. I don't think she will..."

"What?" Raven pushed a little. Then shook her head with a tiny smile seeing how Clarke was looking at her "I think you need to ask yourself a few things, Clarke"

"Oh yeah?" the blonde was getting tired of her new friend.

"Yeah" Raven didn't stepped back "Like why you feel so upset about Lexa being with a girl. Or why do you want all her attention and affection only to yourself"

"We kissed, okay!" Clarke exclaimed completely tired and on the verge of tears "We...we kissed and I...I don't know..."

Raven hugged her as she cried.

"Hey" the latina rubbed the blonde's back with her palms gently "I didn't mean to hurt you"

Clarke sniffled and pulled back "It's fine. I'm fine"

Raven looked at the blonde sympathetically "Are you sure?"

Clarke sighed. A long, tired sigh "Is just...I feel like I'm losing her. Like our friendship is crumbling down" she raised her watery blue eyes to Raven "We haven't even talk since she left"

Raven nodded and rested her hand on Clarke's knee "Maybe you need to take a step forward"

That was easier to say than to do.

 

~~~

 

On the communal dinning room Lexa frowned when she catched her new friends talking lowly. She rolled her eyes, put her tray over the table and sat with them.

"What are you planning now?" she asked taking a bite of her food.

Luna huffed but smiled "Danielle likes you"

Lexa almost choked and began to cough loudly. Emori had to pat her back. Danielle was a beautiful blonde with a lovely smile.

"What?" Lexa croaked confused.

"Danielle likes you. She has the hots for you. Her bell rings for you. She wants to eat--" Luna was cut by Lexa shushing her while blushing deeply.

"We kinda heard her on the showers" Monroe said.

"How did you _kinda_ heard her?" Lexa shook her head in disbelief.

"We weren't spying her or something like that, Lexa" Emori added "We were there and then she started talking to her friend about you"

"About how cute you are. About how lovely your lips are. About how fucking hot you are" Luna smiled cheekily.

"Stop" Lexa hissed "I'm not interested"

Monroe snorted "She's beautiful and sexy"

"Please" Lexa raised her hands with a pleading look on her face "I'm not here for that, okay? Just leave me alone"

The three girls exchanged a confused gaze and dropped the subject.

At night, on her bunk bed, Lexa couldn't sleep. She carefully grabbed her phone and looked sadly at Clarke's last text.

It was incredible how everything was falling apart so fast. Lexa's heart was absolutely broken. 

The brunette dried the sudden tears on her eyes with the back of her hand. She bit her lower lip and started to type.

 **Lexa:** _I'm sorry for being MIA. The training is taking all my time. How are you doing? You're probably asleep right now_

Lexa sighed and for a brief moment thought about deleting and not send it to Clarke. But she was feeling pathetic, because she was feeling like begging the blonde for her time and attention.

"You're so pathetic" she whispered to herself, clenching her jaw and feeling new tears in her eyes.

Her lower lip trembled and she furiously wiped her tears with her free hand. She gulped the lump in her throat and sent the text. Then added another one.

 **Lexa:** _I miss you_

She turned off the phone and put it over her nightstand.

She didn't sleep at all that night.

 

~~~

 

The next morning Clarke wrote and deleted a couple of texts before typing her final.

 **Clarke:** _I miss you too_

Simple. Maybe too simple. But that day Raven insisted on taking her to a party on the beach. And with all the hurry and clothes changing, she forgot the phone back in her bedroom.

Some boys from a near Fraternity were the ones behind the big, loud, crazy party. 

There was a huge bonfire, music and alcohol. Lots of it.

Raven moved trough the party and the crowd like a pro, and Clarke suspected that wasn't her first party of that kind.

"Hi" a tall, dark haired boy smiled at Clarke nervously "I didn't see you before. Are you from the Sorority?"

Clarke was confused. That guy really thought she was a College student "I--" she was about to tell him the truth when Raven went to her side with two glasses with some kind of alcoholic beverage.

"Hi there" Raven smiled at the boy "Yes, we're new" she offered one glass to Clarke and the blonde took it, unsure of what to say or how to act.

"Oh" the boy smiled brightly and ran a hand along his dark hair "Great. I'm Lenny"

"Raven" the latina smiled flirtily. She glanced back at Clarke, like suddenly noticing she was there too "She's my friend Clarke"

"Clarke" Lenny repeated "What a lovely name"

"Right?" Raven tilted her head wrinkling her nose cutely "I think I'm seeing some friends there" she pointed at the crowd "Why don't you two talk...and...well, get to know each other?" she smiled at Clarke.

Before the blonde could say a word Raven was walking backwards and winking at Clarke with a big smile.

The blonde smiled nervously and Lenny shrugged.

"So" he started "What's your major?"

Clarke licked her lips and cleared her throat "Biology" she lied.

"Ah" he seemed pleased with the information "I want to be a physio. That's the dream"

Clarke smiled, much more comfortable that time "That's great"

Lenny moved his hands to the back pockets of his jeans. He was as nervous as Clarke and the blonde thought it was pretty cute.

"Do you...want to dance?" he gestured to a group of people dancing.

Clarke observed the boy a for a moment. He grinned hopely.

"Yeah" the blonde finally nodded.

She barely drank but she was feeling giddy, and not in a bad way. She was actually having fun. And Lenny was cute and smelled really good.

The sky was turning dark while she danced to a slow song, with her arms around Lenny's neck, and very close to him.

He smiled softly and searched her lips. Clarke closed her eyes and let him kiss her.

It was soft and gentle. But so different.

So different from Lexa.

Before knowing what was happening Clarke felt tears running down her cheeks and pulled back.

Lenny looked alarmed at the blonde "There's something wrong?" he asked hurriedly.

Clarke sniffled, feeling utterly embarrassed and stupid "I'm...sorry" she stammered "I can't" she choked and ran away before the boy could speak again.

The blonde ran to the house their parents rented for the holidays and sat over the wood stairs.

The breeze was moving her short hair in every direction. And Clarke sniffled and wiped away her tears.

At first she didn't noticed Raven was walking to her. But when she raised her teary blue eyes she saw her standing there, in front of her with a concerned gaze.

"This is such a mess" Clarke lamented before breaking again.

Raven silently sat by her side and hugged her as she cried.

 

~~~

 

That morning the coaches and monitors formed teams with the girls. They arranged a little league and Lexa was glad to have Emori on her team.

They played all morning. And they even had a small crowd watching them. 

Lexa and Emori's team won the little league, and when they headed to the showers serveral people approached them.

Some where form the camp. The other were complete strangers to the girls.

"Lexa, Emori" one of the monitors said "These men were here to watch you two"

Lexa's heart skipped a beat. They had to be from different Colleges searching for girls with real talent.

"I would like to talk with you. Hmm...Lexa?" one man asked.

The brunette nodded eagerly "Yes I'm...I'm Lexa" she dried the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Lexa Woods" another man added looking at his clipboard.

From the corner of her eye Lexa noticed how two other men were talking with Emori too.

"We're from Lake Valley UC" the first man explained making Lexa to turn her gaze to him "We've been looking for girls like you, Lexa. You are a very remarkable player"

Lexa smiled widely "Thank you, sir"

"We want to offer you a scholarship" the second man smirked kindly "What do you say?"

Lexa was about to faint of pure emotion "I say yes. Yes!" she smiled.

Both men laughed merrily and offered their hands for a shook.

"Welcome to Lake Valley UC, Lexa" one of the men said.

Lexa couldn't stop smiling "Thank you. Thank you, sir"

She ran to her bedroom and grabbed her phone. She quickly pressed call on Clarke's number with the biggest smile on her face. She sat over the edge of her bunk bed and waited for the blonde to pick up.

Her smile began to fade when the call tone continued and continued without Clarke answering. The call ended and Lexa heard the voice mail. She frowned and decided to call again, with the same luck.

Lexa stared at the phone screen sadly and texted something to the blonde. She felt her chest heavy and a lump in her throat. She shook her head and called Gustus.

The man picked the phone and Lexa told him everything. Gustus was static and congratulated her proudly and excited. Even Anya grabbed the phone to tell her sister how happy she was.

Lexa smiled a little smile that didn't reach her eyes and told her family how happy she was.

When the call ended Lexa looked at the phone with a mix of feelings, and threw it over the nightstand.

 

~~~

 

When she opened her eyes Clarke growled and rolled over her stomach. Whatever she drank last night was now giving her a hangover.

After running away from that cute guy, and practically crying all night, she fell asleep completely dead tired.

Abby knocked on her door telling her the breakfast was ready.

Clarke grunted and sat over the mattress slowly. Her head heavy and blunted. She licked her dry lips and let out a long half-sigh, half-whine.

She should head to the shower and try to recompose herself before facing her parents. But she felt so goddamn awful. And not just because the hangover.

Why she had to think about Lexa while kissing Lenny on the beach? 

She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked at her phone. There on her nightstand. Right where she left it before leaving for the party. 

Could Lexa had texted her? 

She grabbed it and searched for any new texts. And when she saw them she felt even worse than before.

 **Lexa:** _I guess you're busy now. But I wanted to tell you Lake Valley UC offered me a full scholarship_  
**Lexa:** _Maybe we can talk later_

Clarke let out a shaking breath, feeling tears gathering in her blue eyes, and also feeling incredibly sad and guilty.

It was Lexa's dream and she wasn't there to congratulate her and tell her how proud she was of her.

She immediately tried to call her, but it was training hours so Lexa didn't pick up.

Clarke sobbed softly and covered her mouth with her hand.

During the breakfast she barely talked. And she declined Raven's invitation to go to the movies.

She spent all day in her bedroom. Feeling sad and guilty.

She couldn't continue like that.

They couldn't continue like that.

 

~~~

 

It took 2 days for Clarke to feel brave enough to call Lexa.

Previously she sent her a series of texts congratulating her and telling how happy and proud she was. And it was true. But something was missing and she needed to listen her voice.

Clarke held her breath waiting for Lexa to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

Her voice. God. Clarke closed her eyes and suddenly felt tears in her eyes. She shook her head and swallowed.

"Hello stranger" she managed to say.

"Clarke"

The blonde could almost feel Lexa's smile in her voice. She could almost see it.

"Excuse me for not calling you earlier. I'm so sorry" Clarke said honestly.

"Don't worry, ok? I wasn't any good at keeping contact neither"

Clarke gulped and bit her lower lip "I just...I'm sorry. And I miss you"

A sigh on the other side "I miss you too"

Clarke rested her back against the headboard of her bed and sighed too. She frowned when she overheard music and all kind of noise "What's going on there?"

"Ah" Lexa seemed to hesitate for a second "Some girls are celebrating"

"Celebrating?" Clarke arched her eyebrows.

"I wasn't the only one to get a scholarship, you know. So there's kind of a party here"

Clarke chuckled softly "Is that allowed?"

"Shhh. Don't tell anybody"

Clarke laughed amused.

"I missed your laugh"

A short silence followed.

"I...I should go, you know" Lexa cleared her throat.

"Wait!" Clarke almost begged "Wait a little more"

"Ok"

Another moment of silence.

"Clarke" Lexa sighed and the blonde tensed "We...we should talk"

The blonde panicked "About?"

Lexa sighed again "You know about what"

Clarke gulped and shook her head "Lexa..."

"Is not going to disappear if we don't talk about it, you know?. It...happened, it was real"

"That's was--"

"A mistake?" 

Clarke sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose "Can we just...forget about it"

After a tense silence Lexa spoke again.

"I can't"

"Lexa" begged frustrated.

"I'm coming back in a week, Clarke. And I need to know"

Clarke wanted to crawl and hide in that moment.

"I need to know if...if it meant something to you. Because..." a sigh and a short humorless laugh "Because it meant something to me"

Clarke felt her lower lip trembling. And quickly wiped away the tears from her eyes. She gripped the half heart hanging around her neck tightly and looked at the ceiling, like asking for help.

"It did" she simply answered.

 

~~~

 

"It did"

In the middle of all the noise those two words rumbled in Lexa's ears like a thunder.

The brunette couldn't stop the smile growing on her face and closed her eyes momentarily. She needed to ground herself or she would float away in that right moment.

She was outside that noisy room, with her back against the door, and smiling like an idiot.

"I can't wait to see you" she declared, full of joy.

"Me neither"

Lexa bit her lower lip and rested her head against the wood. She was pretty sure she was looking like an total idiot standing there.

"Go celebrate. You deserve it" Clarke added "But no alcohol, you've heard me?"

Lexa smiled happily "Yes, Griffin". Her heart was drumming inside her chest waiting for the reply she knew so well.

"Don't call me Griffin"

At that Lexa could only laugh blissfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I totally made up that College's name. And I'm still trying to find a name for the little town where Lexa and Clarke live. I don't want something from the show, I want something new. 
> 
> Maybe I'll find it before the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke happily helped Abby to make the breakfast in the morning. She hummed a song under her breath and was filled with energy.

Abby observed her daughter being herself again.

"You're in a good mood this morning" the woman smiled.

"I feel good this morning" Clarke smiled while turning around the pancakes on the fry pan.

"That's great, honey"

"I talked with Lexa yesterday" Clarke gazed at her mother and the woman smiled at her "She got a scholarship, mom. She's going to Lake Valley UC" she was so proud and happy that she couldn't wipe out the smile from her face.

"That's amazing!" Abby exclaimed happily "Jake!" she called her husband.

Clarke chuckled amused and shook her head.

"Yeah?" the man peeked from the kitchen's door.

Abby cleaned her hands and smiled "Lexa got a scholarship on Lake Valley UC!"

Jake broke into a big smile "Oh wow. Why you didn't tell us before?" he asked his daughter.

Clarke chuckled again "I only discovered it last night"

"We should call her" Jake said firmly.

"Yes, we should" Abby agreed.

"It's too soon" Clarke protested rolling her eyes "She's probably still eating her breakfast or heading to the training"

But her parents were already dialing the brunette's number and shushing her.

"Lexa? Yes, honey it's me" Abby smiled sweetly.

"We're really proud of you. Congratulations!" Jake said excitedly taking the phone from his wife.

Clarke shook her head with a soft smile on her lips.

"Putting you on speaker, hold on" Abby explained before doing it "Okay. We're hearing you. All of us"

A gentle laugh came from speaker and Clarke wanted to melt at the sound.

"Thank you so much, guys" Lexa said and the blonde could feel she was smiling "I still can't believe it"

"You deserve it, Lexa. We're definitely throwing a party when you come back" Jake said honestly.

Another laugh and Clarke really wanted to grab that phone and tell her how much she missed her laugh too.

"You wanna talk with Clarke?" Abby asked, smiling down at the phone.

The blonde's heart skipped a bit.

"Yeah, please" Lexa replied "Thank you again. Love you two"

"We love you too, sweetheart" Jake said and then Abby said it too before passing the phone to her daughter.

Clarke sighed and turned off the speaker "Hey" she said softly "Yeah, let me..." she trailed off while exiting the kitchen, leaving her parents there with twin smiles on their faces. "I'm sorry for the ambush" she apologized honestly.

Lexa laughed "It's ok. I miss them too"

Clarke opened the front door and walked out, to the porch. Then she sat on the stairs.

"I--"

"I--"

Both tried at the same time. Then bursted into laughter. Clarke put some hair behind her ear and bit her lip.

"What are you doing now?" the blonde finally asked.

"I'm getting ready for the morning session"

"Oh, then I should hang up"

"No" Lexa quickly said "I have some minutes still"

"Okay" Clarke smirked softly.

A brief silence.

"How much do you miss me?" Lexa asked and Clarke smiled because the brunette was teasing her, like always. Like if nothing changed. And that made her feel so happy.

"How much do _you_ miss me?" the blonde fired back.

Lexa sighed dramatically. Of course.

"There's no words to describe it, Clarke" the brunette started and the blonde rolled her eyes "How old is the universe? How many french fries we ate that day when we skipped class in eighth grade, and went to the mall? Impossible to measure"

"You're so silly" Clarke grinned.

"I miss you terribly. And I can't wait to see you" Lexa finally admitted.

Clarke wrapped her hand around her half heart "I miss you too. I wish you were here"

Lexa sighed again "Tell me again where are you. I can definitely escape jumping the fence"

Clarke laughed amused and then turned serious "Just a few more days"

"Yeah" Lexa exhaled "Clarke..."

"Lexa" the blonde replied feeling goosebumps all over her body.

A loud sigh "Please, tell me we'll talk about... _this_ " another sigh "Tell me I...I didn't ruin--"

"You didn't ruin anything, Lexa" Clarke hurried to calm her best friend "I'm sorry for making you feel like that" she gulped. She felt incredibly guilty for it. Suddenly there was tears pricking in her blue eyes "And yes. We'll talk. We need to"

Clarke wasn't sure, but she could swear she heard Lexa sitting. She was about to ask her if she was okay when the brunette spoke.

"No matter what" she began "You will always be the best thing that ever happened to me"

Clarke closed her eyes, fighting back the tears and swallowing hard "You're the best thing that ever happened to me too. I hope you know that"

A wet chuckle was heard and Clarke smiled through her tears.

"I like when you get all sappy"

The blonde shook her head softly and wiped the tears from her eyes with a tiny grin.

"You're making pancakes for breakfast?" Lexa's voice was teasing but also fond.

Clarke smiled gently "You know it's my favorite"

"I know"

"Come on, go to the training session" Clarke shook her head softly "We'll talk later?

"Sure"

"Okay" Clarke sighed "Bye"

"Bye. Put some chocolate syrup on it. For me"

Clarke laughed "I will"

 

~~~

 

After the training Lexa and the rest of the girls headed to the showers. Luna, Monroe and Emori teased Lexa mercilessly for being _strangely happy_ in the last couple of days.

Lexa just ignored all their teasing and clouded with second meaning comments. Knowing that Clarke wasn't mad at her, and the she also felt something when they kissed had her on a perpetual state of happiness.

She entered her bedroom while her friends still were busy talking and losing time on the showers.

She was drying her long dark hair with a towel and picking some things from the floor. 

That room was really a mess.

She felt a husky _Hello_ close to her ear, and two arms wrapping around her waist. She jumped startled, exclaiming a _Shit!_ and resting her right hand over her heart.

Danielle looked at her with an amused little grin and brown eyes sparkling with mischief. And with something else that made Lexa grow incredibly nervous.

"Da...Danielle" Lexa finally elaborated "What are you doing here?"

The girl smiled and tilted her head "I've heard you like me. And I like you. So, how about if we do something about that?" she raised an eyebrow and began to untie the belt of her robe.

Until that moment Lexa's mind didn't even realized that the girl was wearing only a white robe.

"Ah Danielle!" Lexa grabbed the girl's hands, effectively stopping her "I don't...I'm not..." she was babbling like an idiot "I just..." she gulped down "I'm sorry. I'm...not interested like that"

Danielle laughed cheekily and shook her head "You're even cutest than I thought at first" she licked her lips and advanced towards the brunette "I don't want us to marry, Lexa. I just want you to fu--"

"Ok!" Lexa interrupted. Completely flushed and embarrassed, and still gripping the robe belt with both hands. That thing was dangerous and could slip open at any moment "Look Danielle" she tried after swallowing hard "You're...incredibly beautiful and...that, you know" she smiled nervously "But I can't. I'm sorry"

The girl raised an eyebrow and stared at Lexa very seriously "Are you a virgin?"

Lexa's embarrassment grew ever more. She shook her head "I'm not. But that doesn't matter. I'm not interested"

Danielle raised her chin and moved the brunette's hands from her robe "If this is because that blonde girlfriend of yours, don't worry. I'm sure she's busy now with the _gift_ I sent to her"

Lexa needed a few long seconds to process what the girl was saying. And when she did she widened her green eyes in panic. "What did you do?" she asked afraid of the answer "Goddammit Danielle! What did you do?" she raised her voice.

The girl looked surprised at the brunette's outburst, but shrugged and glanced at her phone, over the nightstand.

Lexa followed her gaze and felt her heart sinking and her throat closing. She ran to her bed and grabbed the phone, frantically searching for whatever Danielle sent to Clarke. And when she found it she wanted to die.

The picture showed Danielle lying on her bunk bed practically naked, smiling and winking at the camera.

Lexa had to swallow down before glaring at the girl "Get out" she hissed.

"Lexa--" Danielle began.

"Get out!" Lexa yelled angrily "Don't you ever get near me again! And be grateful I'm not reporting you to the direction for harassment!"

Danielle looked really taken aback and frightened. She turned around and left the room.

Lexa sat on the edge of her bed and tried to delete the message, but it was already marked as readed.

She ran a shaking hand along her still wet hair and typed as fast as she could.

 **Lexa:** _The girl who sent you that picture is insane. She sneaked into my room while I was showering. She's crazy, Clarke. I swear. Nothing happened. She wants to punish me because I rejected her. Please believe me._

Lexa held her breath while waiting for the reply. The three dots didn't appeared, but the text was marked as readed.

She was about to hit her head against a wall when her phone rang. On her screen she saw the picture she asigned to Clarke's number. A picture of the blonde smiling widely at the camera.

Lexa immediately picked up and licked her lips "Clarke"

"I can't say I'm happy to hear you" 

The cold reply shrinked the brunette's heart to the point she was sure she was having a stroke.

"I'm sorry" Lexa managed to said "Listen, that girl sneaked into my room and took that picture on my bed. I wasn't here. And nothing happened between us"

After a tense silence that felt too long, Clarke sighed.

"She's being after you?"

"Yes" Lexa answered without hesitation "Well not all this time, you know. Since like a few days ago. She's obsessed with me. Well maybe not really _obsessed_ but she wants to get into my bed"

In her mind all that sounded much better.

Clarke sighed again. But time it was followed by the softest chuckle. A little tiny smirk appeared on Lexa's lips at the sound.

"I'm sorry" Clarke continued "Is just that picture took me by surprise. Not everyday you get nudes from a complete stranger. From your best friend's phone moreover"

Lexa closed her eyes and bowed her head in shame "I'm so sorry, Clarke"

"It's okay. And you don't owe me any explanation"

Lexa swallowed "Yes, I do"

After another moment of silence.

"I don't know why girls like me" Lexa continued with a honest tone and a shrug.

Clarke laughed gently "Lexa"

"What?"

"Are you serious? Apart for being incredibly beautiful and having a killer body, you're the most kind, caring and sweet person ever"

Lexa smirked "Beautiful with a killer body, huh?"

"Shut up" Clarke chuckled.

Lexa laughed softly and then sighed "I just...I miss you"

"Five more days" Clarke reassured the brunette.

Lexa smiled again "Five more days"

 

~~~

 

Raven helped Clarke to pack her things. It was the moment to go home.

The time at the beach had been rather interesting. She felt Lexa closer than before leaving. And the brunette was physically far away. But only physically, because Lexa and her basically spent the last nights talking on the phone until the sun was almost up again.

But there it was something they didn't really talk about. They danced around it, but never acknowledged.

The prospect of returning home and soon see Lexa again was making Clarke both excited and nervous. 

"Are you ready to see your total non-girlfriend?" Raven asked like reading her mind.

Clarke rolled her eyes and closed her bag "Are you done yet?" she asked instead.

Raven smirked and closed the other bag "What are you gonna do? Hold her? Kiss her?" she wiggled her eyebrows.

Clarke sighed loudly "We haven't even talk about it"

Raven crossed her arms over her chest and raised an inquiring eyebrow "Do you love her?" 

Clarke snorted "Of course I love her. She's my best fri--"

"I'm not talking about friendship here, Clarke" Raven interrupted "Do you _love_ her?"

The blonde licked her lips and shook her head "It's complicated"

It was Raven's turn to snort "How so? Yes or no, it's not so hard"

"I don't want to ruin everything, Raven" Clarke looked at the girl "Lexa is not any other girl"

Raven sighed and sat over the edge of the bed, signaling Clarke to do the same. The blonde did with a loud sigh.

"I get you're afraid" Raven began "And I understand this is complicated, but Clarke" she looked at the blonde's unsure blue eyes "If you're not sure then tell her. Because what could really ruin everything is you two lying to yourselves and to each other"

Suddenly Clarke wasn't feeling so excited anymore.

"I can't say I'm gonna miss you right now" the blonde pouted.

Raven laughed "Our friendship is now forever, blondie. Be ready"

 

~~~

 

Lexa grumbled and grunted when Luna kicked her bed to wake her up.

"Come on, Woods" the girl smiled satisfied "Time to go home"

Lexa opened one green eye, confused and grumpy "Are you drunk so early? We leave tomorrow"

Emori and Monroe laughed softly and Lexa opened both eyes this time. Her mates were already dressed and their things packed.

Lexa sat over the mattress and rubbed her eyes "What's going on?"

"The girls who got scholarships can go home today" Luna explained cheerfully.

"What?" Lexa smiled in disbelief.

"We're taking you to your girl, come on" Luna kicked the bed again.

"I'm driving" Emori clarified "I will never let this one do it" she pointed at Luna.

"Oh my God" Lexa left the bed and started packing.

The simple thought of seeing Clarke again was making her heart beat like crazy.

 

~~~

 

Upon arriving home Clarke went directly to her bedroom, and collapsed over her bed with a sigh.

She turned over her back and glanced at the picture on her nightstand. The picture she and Lexa took in front of the centenary tree before the brunette left for the camp.

Before the kiss.

Clarke sighed again and covered her face with both hands. She really had no idea how to face Lexa and what happened between them.

But one thing was clear: She loved her. Despite all the confusion, the fear, the doubts.

"Clarke" Abby called from downstairs "Can you come down?"

The blonde grunted, way too comfortable for that request.

"Clarke?" Abby insisted.

"I'll go" Clarke stood with another grunt.

She entered the kitchen trying to control a yawn. She widened her blue eyes in surprise and gasped seeing who was there.

"Happy to see me?" Raven asked with a smile.

"What...? How...?" Clarke chuckled and hugged her new friend.

"I didn't want to tell you because I wanted to surprise you" Raven explained when the blonde pulled back to look at her "We're moving here and I'll be your new class mate"

"Oh my God" Clarke smiled and hugged the girl again.

The blonde spent almost all day with Raven. The latina teased her about the _Lexa altar_ she had on her bedroom.

The most time passed the more nervous Clarke grew thinking about seeing her best friend again.

 _Tomorrow_ she thought caressing her half heart distractedly.

 

~~~

 

Emori parked her car in front of Lexa's house and the brunette took a long breath.

"Your stop" Luna smirked.

Emori and Monroe cheered and wiggled their eyebrows teasingly.

Lexa rolled her eyes and opened the door. After grabbing her bag from the car trunk she stood in front of her friends.

"I'll miss you. To my dismay" she smiled.

They laughed, hugged and winked at Lexa. From the backseat Luna called the brunette one last time.

"Go for her, Woods"

Lexa exhaled and lowered her gaze "I don't know if--"

"Come on, Lexa" Emori encouraged, peaking her head from the window "Be honest with her. You can make it"

"Make us proud" Monroe added from behind Emori.

Lexa chuckled softly and gazed at her new three friends "The next time we'll see we'll be College rivals"

Luna adopted a smug expression "And I'll kick your ass"

"We'll see about that" Lexa fired back.

When they finally left Lexa sighed and looked back at her house. Her eyes darted to the left, a few more houses down the street, to Clarke's house.

She sighed again and walked there. Gripping the strap of the bag hanging on her shoulder.

She wasn't sure if Clarke could be there yet, and chewed her bottom lip as she stood in front of the door. A sudden thought appeared on her mind and walked to the back garden. 

She stopped death in tracks when she found Clarke sitting on the edge of her pool and felt her heart doing crazy thing inside her chest.

Clarke had her legs inside the water. With her red bikini top on and a denim shorts. Her hair was shorter. And Lexa smiled fondly because she loved it as much as her long hair. 

Lexa stood there. Green eyes fixed on Clarke. She sighed shakingly at the sight. It almost felt like one of those silly rom-coms Clarke loved so much. Lexa would had snorted and roll her eyes if they were watching something like that on the screen. But there she was, inside her own particular movie, without any idea where the plot would take her.

Clarke ran a lazy hair over her hair and turned her gaze to her right and spotted Lexa there.

Lexa held her breath for a moment. The blonde's blue eyes lit up and Lexa couldn't help but to smile like a idiot.

Clarke smiled back and quickly jumped to her feet. She ran to Lexa and launched herself into the brunette. Lexa dropped the bag carelessly onto the grass and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around the blonde tightly, inhaling her scent.

She was at home finally.

Because Clarke was that to her. Her home.

"I can't believe you're here!" Clarke said happily, pulling back and gazing emotionally at her best friend. Her hands immediately caressing the brunette's face "I thought you would come tomorrow!" she jumped adorably.

Lexa was aware she was silent and staring at Clarke like an idiot. She licked her lips and shook her head "It was a surprise"

Clarke hugged her again and Lexa sighed feeling how her blonde hair tickled her nose.

She could hold Clarke forever if the blonde wanted. But she saw a girl exiting the Griffin's kitchen's door and frowned. Clarke pulled back a little and observed her face briefly, before turning her head to said girl.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt" Raven said clasping her hands with a nervous smile.

"Don't worry" Clarke smiled honestly and disentangled from Lexa, who was already missing her warm and scent. "Lexa" she fixed her blue eyes on her best friend again "This is Raven. A friend I met on the beach. She moved here for our last highschool year"

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Lexa" Raven extended her hand kindly "I've heard a lot about you"

Lexa offered a tight smile and shook the girl's hand politely "Nice to meet you, Raven. Welcome to Green Hills"

"I love your cute little town" Raven contined "It's adorable"

Lexa nodded and glanced at Clarke who was looking at her new friend with a smile. She noticed how the blonde had her hand in between hers and was brushing a thumb over it gently.

"Well" Raven clapped awkwardly "I'm leaving now. You two must have a lot to talk about"

"No Raven" Clarke intervened "You don't have to leave"

Raven gazed at Lexa not so subtly "Yes, I have to"

"You can stay" Lexa offered "I have to...unpack and tell my family I'm here. Take a shower..."

Clarke squeezed the brunette's hand making her green eyes to look at her. The blonde pouted adorably and whined a _no_ that melted Lexa completely.

The brunette chuckled softly and put a handful of blonde hair behind her friend's ear gently "I have to tell Gustus and Anya I'm here, Clarke"

"You can do that later" the blonde complained with another whine and Lexa laughed quietly.

"Is just a moment" Lexa added.

Clarke pouted again but relented. Lexa felt the uncontrollable desire to take her in her arms and kiss her until their lungs couldn't take it anymore.

"But we're dining together, okay?" Clarke said with a little smile. Her fingers began to trace the scar on the brunette's eyebrow.

Lexa smiled and suddenly it was like it was just the two of them "Ok" the brunette said softly.

Raven cleared her throat and Lexa clenched her jaw, because she wanted to spend more time getting lost in Clarke's blue eyes.

"Go to unpack and kiss your family" the blonde began while playing with the collar from the brunette's shirt "And to shower. Even if you smell pretty good to me" she ended with the tip of her tongue poking in between her teeth.

Lexa chuckled with a roll of her eyes, and feeling a blush creeping on her cheeks and ears.

When Lexa walked to her house Clarke turned back with a bright smile of her lips.

Raven arched an eyebrow and Clarke simply shrugged passing by her new friend.


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke was setting the table along with her father.

She was beyond static now that Lexa was back. But she knew they needed to talk.

"You're humming that song" Jake said with a smile.

Clarke glanced at her father and then back at the table, slightly embarrassed.

"How it was called?" Jake insisted.

Clarke sighed " _She's the one_ "

Jake nodded and finished with the cutlery "It's a beautiful song. Your mother and I danced to it way back, you know"

Clarke bit her lower lip while putting the plates on place. She danced to that song with Lexa. Way back too.

"Maybe we should put some music" Abby added entering the dining room while carrying the salad.

Clarke sighed "You two are unbearable"

Jake laughed softly and Abby smiled putting the salad over the table. It was Lexa's favorite, Clarke noticed. Her parents were truly amazing.

The door bell rang and Jake hurried to open. He engulfed Lexa in a big hug, making her chuckle.

Then did the same with Anya who was rolling her eyes at the scene.

Lexa laughed softly and walked to Clarke and Abby "Welcome back, honey" the woman said hugging the brunette and kissing her cheek sweetly.

"Thank you. I definitely missed you"

"Me too?" Jake asked resting his hand on Lexa's shoulder.

The brunette scoffed "Of course. Who else will discuss the soccer league with me?"

Jake nodded "That's true" she smiled at the brunette.

"I wanted to bring wine but" Gustus pointed at Lexa and Clarke.

Both rolled their eyes.

"Don't worry, Gustus" Abby intervened with a smile "The kids can drink soda or milk"

They all laughed while Lexa and Clarke exchanged a timid smile.

 

~~~

 

"And how was the camp, Lexa?" Abby asked taking a bite of her food.

Lexa shallowed before answering "It was amazing. I met a lot of great girls"

In that moment the brunette's green eyes found Clarke's blue ones. The memory of that naked girl on Lexa's bed still vivid on the blonde's mind and retinas. She lowered her gaze and licked her lips.

Lexa cleared her throat "I made some good friends. And I got a scholarship. It was great. But I missed you all"

Clarke raised her eyes to the brunette, who was smirking gently at her. A little smile appeared on the blonde's lips.

After the dinner Lexa stayed to help with the dishes, even if Abby told her she didn't have to.

Shoulder to shoulder Lexa and Clarke cleaned and dried the dishes. Stealing glances and sharing little silly smirks.

"So...Raven" Lexa began casually. At Clarke's raised eyebrow and frown the brunette elaborated more "You two met on the beach? How it was?" she focused on drying a plate and not looking at Clarke.

The blonde chuckled and shrugged "Her father knows mine. She's a little extra and too sassy for her own good, but she's nice and funny"

Lexa nodded "She's our new classmate"

"Yeah"

They fell into a heavy silence.

"You talked her about me?" Lexa asked with a little disbelief.

Clarke tilted her head and gazed at the brunette funnily "Of course I did. You're my best friend"

Lexa bit her lower lip. Almost all the plates were dried now "I told my camp mates about you too"

"You did?" Clarke raised an eyebrow "I thought you were too busy playing soccer and escaping your admirators"

Lexa blushed profusely. Her cheeks and the tips of her ear tinted in pink. She stammered and cleared her throat, avoiding the blonde's amused gaze.

"I'm kidding, silly" Clarke finally said. She put some long chesnut hair from Lexa's face and behind her ear gently. Lexa looked at her, still flustered and timid.

"I'm sorry about _that_ " Lexa apologized sincerely.

Clarke nodded softly. When she opened her phone and saw that picture it was...She never felt so heartbroken in her whole life.

Lexa sighed loudly "I should go, Clarke. Today was a long day"

The blonde ran her hand down the brunette's arm and grabbed her hand, lacing her fingers with hers "No, stay" she almost begged "It's been 2 months"

And that's how they ended curled up in Clarke's bed. 

Lexa talked about the camp and answered all the questions the blonde had for her. And Clarke did the same.

Soon Clarke felt how her eyelids were heavy and couldn't help but yawn and close her eyes.

"Clarke" Lexa whispered seeing her friend falling asleep with her head over her shoulder.

The blonde simply sighed and burrowed further into Lexa's embrace.

The brunette sighed too and observed the sleepy blonde for a moment. She kissed her temple tenderly and settled to sleep too.

 

~~~

 

Raven rolled her eyes unamused as Clarke related her frustrations and problems.

They were having breakfast on a cafeteria near the highschool. Clarke took her new friend around the town while Lexa was finishing all the paperwork for her future College with Gustus and Anya.

Lexa was heavy on her mind. She fell asleep the night before without actually talking about the main reason they needed to talk.

"And when I woke up she was gone. My mom told me she left, even when she offered her pancakes and I know that's bad. Because Lexa loves the pancakes my mom makes. I'm hearing all the alarms and I feel--"

"Okay time-out, Clarke!" Raven protested "Time-out!"

Clarke sighed frustrated.

Raven took a breath and raised her hands "It's obvious you two need to talk and be honest _but_ " she pointed at Clarke "You are a pair of cowards afraid of making the first move. You are afraid to do it and Lexa is afraid to do it. So you two dance around each other like total idiots" she smiled satisfied at Clarke.

The blonde rested her back against the chair with a loud exhale.

"Do you have feelings for her? Like _real_ feelings. Not that I-love-you-in-a-friendly-way-not-in-a-gay-way crap" Raven arched an eyebrow.

Clarke rolled her eyes at that description "I--"

"Yes or no"

Clarke sighed and covered her face with both hands "Yes" 

Raven grinned satisfied and smugly "And Lexa? Does she have gay feelings for you?"

Clarke blushed a little and looked down at her french toasts "Pretty sure she does. Yes" she bit her lower lip.

"Okay" Raven clasped her hands together over the table "Now you just need actual guts to tell her"

"It's not that easy, Raven" Clarke protested "I really wanted to talk with her last night, but after the dinner I fell asleep without couldn't help it"

Raven snorted "You need to work on that stamina if you really want to be with your hot soccer star"

Clarke blushed deeply and threw a little sugar package to her friend, who laughed amused.

"You need a plan, my friend" Raven finally stated.

"What plan?" Clarke wasn't very convinced.

Raven nodded "Jealousy"

"Jealousy" Clarke repeated without understanding.

"Tomorrow. My house. A party to say goodbye to the summer. Music. Beer. You making out with someone. Lexa dying of jealousy and throwing herself at you"

Clarke raised her hands and shook her head "You're kidding? I don't want to make out with anyone else"

"Only with your Lexa" Raven sing-songed wriggling her eyebrows.

"Listen" Clarke tried to ignore the shiver running down her body at the thought of making out with Lexa "It's not gonna happen"

"You just be sure Lexa comes to the party and we'll do the rest"

Clarke grunted hiding her face into her hands.

 

~~~

 

Lexa wasn't really sure about the party in question. But Clarke asked her to go with her. And she used the puppy dog eyes. It was unfair. She was helpless against that, so she obviously went there with her.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Raven saluted the two girls "Welcome to the _Goodbye summer_ party"

The whole house was packed and practically all highschool was there.

"Come Clarke" Raven said offering her hand to the blonde "A couple of boys asked about you. It would be rude to not say hi to them" she ended with a knowing smile.

Clarke fought back the urge to roll her eyes at Raven's antics. She glanced at Lexa who was standing there, not exactly thrilled.

"I'll be back in a minute" Clarke assured.

Lexa simply nodded and watched Clarke go. She put her hands inside the pockets of her jeans. Soon she found her soccer team mates and stayed with them.

"Goddammit Raven" Clarke hissed when they left Lexa behind "You were an asshole"

"It's working, look" she pointed discretly to the group where Lexa was. The brunette was glancing constantly at them.

Clarke shook off the girl's hand from hers "I'm not sure about this. I'm so stressed my stomach is in knots. It's hurting, Raven"

"Dance with some guy and you'll see how Lexa punch him and kiss you while we all clap and cheer"

Clarke rolled her eyes "You've been watching too many soap operas"

"Hello" suddenly the one she was expecting the less appeared in front of Clarke's eyes.

Finn Collins.

"Finn" Clarke said tensely.

"How are you doing? It's been a while" the boy smiled hopefully.

Raven made up a stupid excuse and left them alone. Clarke glared at her with a silent _You'll pay for this_.

"So" Finn said bringing the blonde's attention to him "I can't believe this is our last year. Crazy"

Clarke nodded with a forced smile.

Lexa observed everything from the corner she was with her mates. She clenched her jaw so hard it could break at any moment.

"Shots!" a girl yelled and Lexa grabbed one.

She drank without thinking. And soon one shot became five, and five became ten.

She laughed drunkenly with her friends and that catched Clarke's attention, who was trying to get rid of Finn in every possible way.

"Lexa! Lexa! Lexa!" her friends chanted as the brunette gulped down another shot.

Clarke gasped concerned seeing how Lexa was practically swaying and struggling to standing straight.

Finn was saying something but Clarke simply offered a dry and hurried _Sorry_ and walked to Lexa.

The brunette gazed at her with a big smile "Clarke!" she said happily.

"You don't tolerate alcohol well, Lexa" Clarke tried. She still could remember that New Year's Eve when they were 16 and they drank a small bottle of champange hiding in the back garden. Lexa got sick and ended vomiting all night.

"I tolerate alcohol just fine" Lexa replied turning serious. But Clarke noticed the slow, slurred tone in her best friend's voice.

"I'm having fun, Clarke" Lexa continued with a scowl "Let me have some fun" she tried to walk away but stumbled and Clarke had to catch her, wrapping her arms around her waist.

Lexa simply laughed drunkenly. Clarke grew worried and asked Raven for help.

They took the drunk brunette to the garden.

"I'm taking her home" Clarke informed worriedly.

"Let me help you, okay?" Raven offered.

"What a great plan" Clarke ironized looking at Lexa.

The brunette had her green eyes half closed and a silly smile on her lips.

"I'll tell everybody this is over. Then I'll drive you two" Raven said before entering the house.

Clarke tried to keep her best friend from falling. But Lexa hugged the blonde and sighed into her neck.

"Lexa" Clarke whispered with worry.

"I love your smell" Lexa slurred.

Despite the situation Clarke blushed and tried to make Lexa to look at her. She cupped one cheek and checked her friend "Are you feeling okay?"

"I feel great" Lexa said with a huff of laugh "I missed you so much" she tried to caress the blonde's face but instead fell into her arms again.

Clarke was praying Raven would be back soon.

 

~~~

 

Lexa laughed loudly. Clarke just shushed her while looking into every direction, praying Gustus was deeply asleep. Anya didn't count since she was probably out with some tattooed guy.

"All clear" the blonde whispered. 

Raven grunted while helping Clarke to take Lexa upstairs, to her bed. They were stumbling along the hall.

When they finally reached the door, Raven opened it slowly and they entered with Lexa giggling drunkenly. 

"Jesus, is so hot here" the brunette protested slurring.

Clarke helped to get rid of her jacket and Lexa looked at her with an adorable smile and gaze.

"You need to go to bed" Clarke said softly.

"No" Lexa groaned. Bratty pout in place.

Clarke sighed and moved her hands to the brunette's belt.

Lexa giggled again and ran her fingers along Clarke's blonde hair clumsily "You're getting me naked" she slurred around a smile.

Clarke couldn't help but to blush awkwardly at that. She found Raven's amused gaze over Lexa' shoulder.

"You could be helping me, you know?" the blonde accused.

Raven tried to control the smile creeping on her face "I think you're managing this pretty well"

Clarke growled and rolled her eyes. She finished taking off the belt from Lexa's jeans. The brunette was still staring at her. Drunk smirk gracing her lips.

"Time to go to bed, Lexa. Come on" Clarke led her best friend to the bed.

"It's too hot" Lexa protested again. And this time she slid her jeans down her long legs carelessly.

Heat burned Clarke's cheeks. She turned red and Raven widened her eyes and turned around, excusing herself and leaving the room.

Clarke called her softly, but the latina didn't return. The blonde grunted and helped Lexa to lay down over the mattress.

"That's it" Clarke cooed. Putting the covers over the brunette's naked legs "Now sleep, okay?"

Lexa sighed and closed her eyes "You're so beautiful, Clarke" she whispered.

Clarke chuckled and blushed slightly at the brunette's words "And you're so drunk" she replied.

Lexa laughed amused.

Clarke traced the brunette's scar on her eyebrow "You're beautiful too, Lexa"

Lexa sighed again and licked her lips "What are you doing, Clarke? Come here" she protested reaching for the blonde.

Clarke shook her head and grabbed her friend's hands "Go to sleep, Lexa"

Lexa grunted softly and Clarke observed her. She put some dark hair away from her face gently.

"You were my first kiss" Lexa said opening her green eyes and gazing at the blonde.

Clarke chuckled "I was?"

Lexa nodded and smiled a little "Don't you remember? We were 6. You kissed me under the mistletoe"

Clarke frowned for a few seconds before reminding that moment. She chuckled again "That's true".

Lexa smiled bashfully.

"I hope I was good enough" Clarke said gently. She brushed her thumb over the brunette's cheek gently.

"I don't...I don't remember" Lexa frowned making Clarke to chuckle again.

"We were a couple of kids" the blonde continued. Her heart swelling inside her chest. Lexa closed her eyes and sighed lazily. "Sleep" Clarke finally whispered. Her thumb traced the scar on the eyebrow and with a deep sigh the blonde bent and kissed it. Then left another sweet kiss on the brunette's cheek.

Lexa smiled softly before succumbing to sleep.

Clarke glanced at their hands, still clasped together, and sighed once more.

 

~~~

 

Lexa woke up with her mouth dry as the desert and her head pounding mercilessly.

She covered her face with the pillow and grunted pitifully.

Memories of last night became clear and she suddenly she felt awful. And not just because the hangover.

Finn. And Clarke.

Lexa growled and threw the pillow across the room. Like a fool she felt her green eyes filling with tears.

She never felt so stupid.

 

~~~

 

It was a phone call from Abby what made Lexa react. Clarke wasn't feeling well. She vomited that morning and Abby had to go to the hospital. Jake was working and she couldn't let Clarke alone and sick.

Lexa ate a brief breakfast and put on some clean clothes and practically ran to the Griffin's house.

Abby explained everything and told her to call her if Clarke felt worse. Lexa ran upstairs and found the blonde laying in bed in a fetal position. 

Lexa experienced a lot of pain during her young life. But nothing could compare to see Clarke suffering or in pain. That was impossible to bear for her.

Clarke opened her tired blue eyes slowly and found Lexa sitting on the edge of the bed, caressing her disheveled blonde hair.

"Lexa" Clarke said weakly.

"I'm here. Don't worry. I'm taking care of you" Lexa felt a big lump in her throat.

"My stomach is killing me" Clarke sniffled with misty eyes.

Lexa laid down on the bed and Clarke immediately buried herself in her arms.

"How are you?" Clarke asked softly "Are you fine after last night?" she traced the brunette's chin with her thumb.

Lexa put a brave smile and nodded "I'm perfectly fine, Clarke. Don't worry about me" she reached for the blonde's stomach and rested her hand there "Your mom gave me your medicine"

Clarke shook her head softly "That thing taste like hell"

"But it's good for you" Lexa smiled seeing even sick Clarke was as stubborn as ever.

"I want to sleep" Clarke sighed and closed her eyes "That's all I want"

"Okay. But you need your medicine first" Lexa kissed the blonde's temple softly "That way you'll sleep better"

"I'm sorry for being such a idiot" Clarke said with another sniff.

"Why are you saying that?" Lexa caressed the blonde's stomach sweetly.

"Because of the party" Clarke's lower lip trembled and her eyes were watery.

"You weren't an idiot, Clarke" Lexa soothed "I was the real idiot. Getting drunk and ruining the party for you"

Clarke shook her head "You didn't ruin anything, Lexa. Finn means nothing to me. I want you to know that. It wasn't him I wanted to be with last night"

Lexa smirked softly and rested her foreahead against the blonde's, who sighed tiredly and closed her eyes.

"I'll grab your medicine, okay?" Lexa said while caressing Clarke's stomach.

Clarke swallowed and nodded "Okay"

When the blonde fell asleep she left her side gently and went downstairs to call Abby and tell her eveything.

Suddenly her headache was killing her.

 

~~~

 

Lexa was tired as hell. 

Apart from the party and the hangover, now with Clarke sick she felt worse than ever. And also the idea of returning to the classes and the soccer training was making her even more tired and stressed.

She heard a faint sound coming from Clarke's bedroom and stood from the couch, sure her best friend was already awake.

Maybe now she could finally eat something and take her medicine again.

She knocked on the blonde's door, but she got not answer. She opened and entered.

"Clarke?" she asked with a frown.

But Clarke was not there. Lexa sighed rubbing her eyes. She heard a noise in the bathroom and walked there quickly.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked opening the door slowly.

The blonde was there, on the floor, and vomiting on the toilet.

"Clarke!" Lexa exclaimed worriedly, kneeling beside the blonde "What's wrong?" she caressed her hair soflty and put it away from her sweaty face.

Clarke licked her lips "I...I feel so bad, Lexa" she said weakly.

Lexa put her hand over the blonde's forehead gently "You're burning" she said concerned.

Clarke gazed the brunette with a weary face. Her blue eyes were watery and burnt-out "I...I think..." she swallowed hard "I think I have appendicitis"

"What?" Lexa widened her eyes.

Clarke swallowed again and closed her eyes "I feel a very intense pain on...my lower right side" she licked her lips again "Plus the fever and the vomiting"

"Come on" Lexa urged leaving the floor and helping Clarke to stand up "I'll take you to the hospital"

Clarke winced and whimpered "It hurts so much, Lexa". She could barely stand on her feet.

Lexa clenched her jaw "Put your arms around my neck" she instructed. Then lifted the blonde with surprising ease, carrying her bridal style "You'll be fine" she soothed her best friend before kissing her forehead softly.

The ride to the hospital was an agony for both of them.

For Lexa because she couldn't bear to see Clarke suffering and in so much pain. And for Clarke because she was sure she was about to pass out soon.

Lexa called Abby while trying not to crash her uncle's car.

Upon arriving two nurses laid Clarke on a stretcher as soon Lexa told them what was happening. 

Clarke grabbed the brunette's hand tightly and Lexa rubbed her thumb soflty over the blonde's hand.

"Clarke!" Abby ran to her daughter and checked her with concern.

"She's burning...and...and covered in sweat" Lexa tried to explain "She has been vomiting...She told me it's appendicitis"

"You'll have to wait here" Abby turned to Lexa.

"Lexa" Clarke whispered pitifully.

Lexa kissed the blonde's hand sweetly "It's ok, Clarke. Your mom is here" she tried to calm the blonde "And I'll be there when you wake up. I promise" she kissed her on the forehead and then on the tip of her nose "You'll be fine" she whispered although she herself was shaking.

Clarke cupped the brunette's cheek with a trembling hand. They had to break their laced hands when the nurses and Abby took Clarke to the OR. Lexa just stood there worried, gulping and on the verge of tears.

After what it looked like hours to Lexa, Abby appeared finally and told her everything was fine. They removed the appendix and Clarke was resting and recovering.

Lexa felt like she could finally breathe again. She hugged Abby and the woman hugged her back, thanking her for taking care of her daughter. 

Lexa asked to see Clarke and Abby allowed her.

When Lexa entered the room she observed Clarke. The blonde was asleep and relaxed. Lexa felt tears in her eyes and sighed. She rubbed her eyes and went to the blonde's side. She grabbed her hand again and sat in a chair beside the bed.

Lexa observed Clarke emotionally and kissed her hand softly "You scared the hell out me" she whispered to the sleepy blonde feeling a big lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry" Clarke whispered back weakly.

Lexa smiled watery "Hey"

Clarke licked her lips "Hey" she opened her tired blue eyes and looked at Lexa.

"How are you feeling?" Lexa asked gently.

Clarke closed her eyes again with a wince "Like if I was run over by a truck"

Lexa chuckled and kissed the blonde's hand again.

Clarke turned her head to see Lexa better "You're here" she sighed with a little smile.

"Of course, Clarke" Lexa said "I promised"

Clarke smiled "I know"

Lexa tilted her head "You're gonna have a scar too" she smirked.

Clarke grunted slightly "I know" she gazed at her abdomen and then at Lexa "But I guess you can't kiss it"

Lexa arched her eyebrow "Well, only if you let me" she smirked cheekily.

Clarke laughed but winced in pain "Don't make laugh, silly" she scolded the brunette gently.

"I'm sorry" Lexa said with a smile.

"Come here" Clarke requested sweetly.

Lexa went to the blonde's side, hovering over her. Clarke wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and sighed happily. Lexa kissed the blonde's cheek tenderly, then nuzzled her nose. Clarke cupped the brunette's face softly and they rested the foreheads together.

"Good thing you're studying medicine, Griffin" Lexa teased with a smirk.

"Don't call me Griffin" Clarke replied with a tired smile.

 

~~~

 

Clarke felt a little guilty for having Lexa taking care of her all day, but at the same time she loved to be spoiled by the brunette and having her all to herself. She couldn't help it. She loved to be in Lexa's arms, to feel her sweet gentle kisses on her cheek or nose, to interwine her fingers with hers while they watched tv comfortably on the bed...

"What you want, Clarke?" Lexa asked "Chicken soup or a salad?" she gazed at the blonde expectantly from the door.

Clarke shook her head softly. She was lying on her bed and had been like that for the last couple of days. She was tired of the soups and the salads, and of all those insipid foods. She opened her arms and smiled at her best friend.

Lexa smirked softly and went to the blonde's side. She took off her shoes and laid down with Clarke, snuggling comfortably.

"Are you sure you don't wanna eat?" Lexa asked caressing the blonde's hair gently.

Clarke smiled and buried her face into the brunette's neck "I'm sure" she sighed "I'm tired of that hospital food. I want a pizza"

Lexa smirked and hugged the blonde tightly. She kissed her temple softly.

"I feel like I'm exploiting you, Lexa" Clarke said honestly. She couldn't help but feel guilty. Her blue eyes observing the green ones in front of her "You'd been here with me all the time"

Lexa shrugged "I have nothing better to do, Griffin" she teased.

Clarke rolled her eyes and rested her head back on the brunette's shoulder "Don't call me Griffin" she protested.

"In a couple of days" Lexa started, running her fingers along the blonde's hair softly "You'll be completely recovered and we'll eat a whole pizza together"

Clarke smiled and tilted her face to look up at Lexa "With extra cheese?"

The brunette nodded and tapped the tip of the blonde's nose gently "With all the cheese you wanna eat"

Clarke smiled brightly "I feel like the luckiest girl in the world"

Lexa arched her eyebrows "Because you got your appendix removed? Damn, you're weird"

Clarke chuckled and pinched the brunette's side, making her squirm and laugh "It's because I have you, you fool"

Lexa smirked shyly and blushed prettily. So much that Clarke was dying to kiss her.

The blonde buried her face into the brunette's neck and sighed. She nuzzled the soft skin and felt Lexa shiver a little at the action. Clarke smirked and sighed again "I know what I want now" she whispered.

"Tell me" Lexa replied gently "I can bring you a sandwich or something"

Clarke laughed amused and pulled back to look at Lexa. A frown adorning her beautiful face. Clarke felt her heart swelling and turning crazy inside her chest.

"A little salad would be nice" Lexa continued.

Clarke grinned and Lexa frowned again.

"Is that a yes?" the brunette asked.

Clarke laughed softly and shook her head.

Lexa pouted and narrowed her green eyes at the blonde "Are you making fun of me?"

Clarke cupped the brunette's cheek and got closer to her. She felt more than hear the small gasp escaping from her lips. She looked at her green eyes and then at her mouth.

"Clarke..." Lexa exhaled.

"I'm done talking" the blonde replied before capturing the brunette's lips.

Lexa didn't wait to return the kiss. Clarke sighed and something bloomed inside her chest, threatening with making her burst with pure exhilaration.

Lexa licked Clarke's lower lip sweetly and the blonde moaned welcoming the brunette's tongue. After a couple of minutes Lexa changed the angle of the kiss and Clarke hummed into it.

Lexa rested her hand on Clarke's hip gently as she smiled against her lips.

The blonde pulled back a little, just mere millimeters and smiled too "What's that smile for?" she rasped.

Lexa cut the short distance to kiss Clarke tenderly "I'm just happy" she whispered against the blonde's lips.

Clarke cupped the back of the brunette's neck and pulled her in again for a succession of quick kisses, that were only interrupted by silly smiles.

"Forgive me for not kissing you the moment you came back" Clarke sighed.

Lexa closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the blonde's "So this is it, right? This is real" she opened her eyes again. Filled with hope and love.

Clarke nodded softly "It is"

Lexa nuzzled Clarke's nose sweetly. A loving smile gracing her lips. And Clarke couldn't resist to kiss her again. She was getting overwhelmed with the need of kissing Lexa and being kissed by her. The blonde tried to turn more to her side.

"You're gonna bust your stitches" Lexa murmured into another kiss.

Clarke smiled briefly and brushed her thumb over the brunette's jawline. She looked deeply into those beautiful green eyes looking back at her so lovingly...The blonde's heart did somersaults inside her chest.

"Lexa" Abby's voice suddenly broke the moment knocking on the door.

Lexa jumped to her feet so fast that Clarke almost giggled at the sight.

The brunette stood there, stiff, with her hands on her hips. Clarke rolled her eyes subtly, because the brunette was terrible at lying. Truly terrible.

Abby smiled entering inside the room "You told me you have the first meeting with the soccer team today, right?"

Lexa grunted and hit her forehead with a hand "I forgot. Goddammit". She glanced at Clarke who smirked a little at her.

"I'm fine, Lexa" the blonde reassured the brunette "You can go"

Lexa sighed and Abby moved to her daughter's side to cheek her temperature.

"You need to eat, Clarke" the woman said.

The blonde rolled her eyes "I'm tired of that kind of food". She observed Lexa from the corner of her eye. The brunette was smirking and shaking her head.

"Oh but you will eat it" Abby ordered with a raised eyebrow.

Clarke sighed and pouted softly. 

Abby smiled and walked out the room, squeezing Lexa's shoulder on her way.

The brunette sighed and gazed at Clarke "I have to go" she said with very little desire to actually leave.

Clarke grinned and stretched her arm to Lexa "Come here"

Lexa smiled happily and walked the bed, sitting on the edge and wrapping her arms around the blonde.

Both smiled into the kiss.

Clarke sighed against the brunette's lips and scratched her blunt nails over her nape, making her sigh too.

"I want to tell them" Clarke murmured when they pulled back a little.

Lexa chewed her lower lip "Are you sure?"

Clarke nodded and rested her forehead against the brunette's "Don't you want to?"

Lexa fixed her green eyes on the blonde's blue ones "Of course I do" she replied honestly. She put some of Clarke's hair behind her ear and ran her thumb over cheek and jawline "I just want them to be okay with it. With _this_ "

Clarke smiled softly and planted a brief kiss on the brunette's full lips "They'll be. They'll probably even throw a party to celebrate it. I'm pretty sure of it"

Lexa smirked a little "I'll be back in a couple of hours"

"Okay" Clarke felt like nothing could stop her from smiling like an idiot.

"Rest and eat whatever lame food your mom makes" Lexa instructed gently.

Clarke rolled her eyes amused. She put a hand over the brunette's chest and pushed her away softly. A big smile appeared on Lexa's face.

"You better leave if you don't want to be late" Clarke said resting her head over the pillow again.

Lexa continued smiling and bent her head for a tender kiss.

Clarke was helpless against it. She cupped the brunette's face and returned the kiss gladly.

"Don't miss me too much" Lexa whispered against the blonde's lips.

Clarke pushed her again and Lexa chuckled standing and walking to the door.

 

~~~

 

Later, at night, while eating yet another lame soup, Clarke's mood soared when Lexa appeared carrying a container of the blonde's favorite ice cream.

The brunette told her she consulted Abby about it and the woman gave her her okay.

Clarke smiled like a big fool and, taking advantage of a moment where both her parents were busy, kissed Lexa briefly on the lips.

The gaze and the smile with which Lexa rewarded her made her heart jump and dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just recently created a Tumblr to talk about my fics and ask any questions you all could have. So visit me please in here https://imtrikru.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Life has been very busy lately.

After Clarke finally recovered and got her stitches pulled out (Lexa held the blonde's hand but didn't even look at it while Abby was removing them), both girls were ready to start their last highschool year.

Lexa was returning to the training with the soccer team and Clarke was enjoying the last days of freedom before class. 

Lexa dried the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. The first day was always the tougher. After a time without playing and training the muscles, and the whole body really, resented the hard rhythm.

Luckily Lexa only needed to look at the grades to find a reason to smile and feel good instantly.

Clarke was there. Sitting and following Lexa with her gaze. A gentle smile gracing her lips most if the time. She was wearing a sleeveless white top and black shorts. Her shorter blonde hair was wavy and dancing with the quiet summer breeze. And goddamn, Lexa was in love with her whole.

Lexa smiled back briefly before focusing on the training and the coach's instructions.

Less than a week before she and Clarke kissed. And Lexa found herself smiling like a fool everytime she thought about it.

Now? Now they were together. As a couple. As girlfriends.

Lexa scolded herself for feeling so giddy and stupidly gleeful about that term. But she couldn't help it.

At the end of the training, after the showers, Clarke was waiting for the brunette in her usual spot. She smiled adorably and Lexa took her hand in hers as they walked away and to the brunette's house.

They ate dinner together on the porch. Milking the last traces of summer and sharing kisses and meaningful touches under the stars.

Lexa walked Clarke to her house, even if was just two houses down the street.

Clarke laughed merrily when Lexa told her about her coach slipping on the bathroom floor and falling on her butt, narrowing her eyes at the whole team while they tried hard not to laugh.

In the end they sat on the edge of the blonde's pool. Their barefoot feet inside the mild and nice water.

"Do you have a plan about how to tell our families?" Lexa asked breaking the peaceful silence.

Clarke turned her blue eyes to her and smirked softly "No" she replied simply with a soft shook of her head.

Lexa chuckled and laced her fingers with Clarke's. And the blonde cut the short distance for a sweet kiss.

Lexa cupped the blonde's cheek tenderly and responded to the kiss with the same sweetness.

"Your birthday is coming soon" Clarke sighed when the kiss ended.

Lexa rested her forehead against the blonde's and smirked "18. It feels...surreal"

"It does" Clarke breathed "What do you want?"

Lexa raised her eyebrows.

"As a present" Clarke clarified with a smile.

Lexa shrugged "I don't know"

"Don't you have something especial on your mind?"

Lexa knew was asking innocently but she couldn't help to bite he lower lip and answer " _You_ " cheekily.

Clarke slapped her arm softly and rolled her eyes.

"I mean it, Clarke" Lexa turned more serious and encircled the blonde's waist with her arms, looking deeply into her blue eyes "You are the only thing I ever wanted"

And she meant it. Of course she meant it.

Clarke had to tore her gaze away shyly. But Lexa smiled when she rested her hand over her shoulder and brought those gorgeous bright blue eyes back to her.

"You're quiet a romantic" Clarke whispered. Her voice soft and her eyes shining.

Lexa smiled and trapped her lips in a loving kiss.

Before going to bed they texted a little and Clarke wanted the brunette to know she was going to be at the hospital in the morning, as a volunteer.

 **Lexa:** _That's great, Clarke. I'll probably be at home. Resting and relaxing until you come back_

 **Clarke:** I'm sorry for not telling you before. I completely forgot

Lexa smirked at that.

 **Lexa:** _Yeah my kisses have that effect_

The brunette grinned waiting for the reply. She was sure Clarke was rolling her eyes and shaking her head with a little smile on her lips.

 **Clarke:** _Don't flatter yourself. I had it better_

Lexa frowned and pouted.

 **Lexa:** _You're being mean and I don't want to talk with you anymore_

She added a sad face emoji for more impact.

She waited for the reply and jumped a little in her sitting position over her bed when the phone began to blare. She bit her lower lip seeing it was Clarke calling.

"Yes?" she answered trying to hide a smile.

"Your kisses are the best kisses in the entire world" the blonde stated.

Lexa finally chuckled and heard Clarke laughing softly on the other side.

 _I love you_

Yeah that was floating in the air. But Lexa didn't want to say it over the phone. No, not like that.

"So...volunteer, huh?" she tried to divert the conversation from those three words bubbling inside of her more and more strong every day.

Clarke laughed huskily and Lexa smiled because she loved that sound so much.

"I thought you were gonna praise my kisses too. What a letdown" the blonde sighed dramatically.

Lexa smiled and looked at the window. She licked her lips "Your kisses are the best kisses ever, Clarke. No one comes close"

"Well" Clarke rasped "No one comes close yours neither. Out of this world"

Lexa smirked and opened the window while trapping the phone between her ear and shoulder "I want to kiss you goodnight" she said simply.

"A kiss over the phone?" Clarke seemed disappointed.

Lexa put the phone inside the pocket of her sweat pants and jumped out of the window and down the cornice. She grunted a little when she landed over the grass. On her feet, fortunately.

"Lexa?" Clarke asked unsure.

The brunette smiled retrieving the phone from her pocket "Are you inside your bed right now?"

"Yes" Clarke answered after a few seconds of confusion.

"Why don't you get out and open your window? It's a beautiful night"

Lexa smiled when the silence on the other side of the phone told her the blonde knew what she was doing.

"Lexa no" Clarke half warned, half whimpered.

"Open the window my dear. And let my kisses wrap you up like a sweet hug in this lovely night" Lexa recited with a funny accent.

The window opened and Clarke looked down at her. Lexa smiled looking at her serious face and cut the call, putting the phone inside her pocket.

"Lexa!" Clarke hissed with a scowl.

"Oh dear, my beautiful dear" Lexa began to climb up and Clarke cursed under her breath nervously "Nothing could stop me for coming to see you"

"You're a goddamn idiot" Clarke protested while helping the brunette to get inside her bedroom.

Lexa smiled satisfied and pulled the blonde against her by the waist. Clarke relaxed and melted in the brunette's arms.

"I went through so many hardships to be here, my dear" Lexa continued pompously "But your surpassing beauty makes them all worthy"

Clarke shook her head amused and Lexa smiled.

"You're so silly" Clarke whispered before kissing the brunette's lips in a short kiss.

Lexa moved her hands to the small of the blonde's back and pulled her impossibly closer "But I'm your silly"

"Yes" Clarke brushed her thumbs over the brunette's cheeks tenderly " _Mine_ "

Lexa smiled sweetly "Let our kisses speak the language of the--"

The brunette couldn't continue because Clarke pressed her lips to her in a soul searing kiss.

 

~~~

 

Clarke wanted to be volunteer at the hospital since she was 12. 

Lexa used to tease her about how she would never make it because she was too short and slow.

Those _fights_ usually ended with Clarke pinching Lexa on the side and making her squeal and squirm for such a offense while calling her _Silly_. Lexa would smile widely and made up with a kiss on the cheek or a hug that always made Clarke feel better.

She always wanted to be volunteer. But now she also had Lexa. Not that she didn't have her before but now...Now she was her girl and wanted to spent all the time with her.

_My girl_

Clarke blushed and bit her lips reminding the kisses the night before. And God, Lexa was such a good kisser.

Those full lustful lips were made to kiss and to be kissed.

"Clarke, honey" Abby broke the blonde's thoughts "Are you ready?"

Clarke nodded eagerly. This was something she always wanted. It was a dream. In her mind this was the first step to become a doctor.

Abby showed her around and introduced her to her colleagues. Even if most of them already knew her since she was a child.

She could remember the afternoons she and Lexa spent there as kids, running along the halls, playing with the medical supplies and the scolding from her mother's part because of it.

That morning she observed Abby and other doctors and nurses doing their job. And even helped with some cures and leant some basic treatments.

At lunch she was tired and hungry, but immensely satisfied. This was definitely her thing.

Abby still had patients so Clarke walked to the vending machine to get some snacks.

" _Tsk, tsk_ " she heard behind her and turned around to find Lexa standing there with a little smirk "Eating all that junk? I have something better" the brunette raised a brown paper bag and Clarke broke into a big smile.

They ate on the waiting room and Clarke kissed Lexa's cheek in gratitude for the delicious sandwich.

"I thought you have training today?" Clarke wondered taking another bite.

"It was a soft session. Stretching, running, push ups" Lexa shrugged licking her lips.

"What do you want to do tonight, killer?" Clarke traced the brunette's ear with a finger, making her shiver and writhe a little.

"Movie night?" Lexa asked after swallowing her food.

Clarke nodded "Yes, something quiet please. I'm kinda tired" she ended with a yawn.

"This is what maturing does to you, Clarke" Lexa declared with a serious nod.

Clarke simply kissed her muttering a loving _Silly_ against her lips.

 

~~~

 

Before the movie night Abby and Jake showed the girls an old (they thought forgotten video) of them two singing on the karaoke when they were around 8 or 9. 

The video was filmed on Christmas. They were wearing Santa's hats and singing off-key while giggling non stop.

Lexa growled and covered her face with her hands embarassed and shy, while Clarke chuckled at their antics.

The song was _Kiss Me Quick_ by Elvis Presley. At the end of the video a very young Gustus (without beard) joined them, by kneeling on their side, to finish on top.

Lexa laughed and Clarke bit her lip still looking at the screen when the video ended. An idea quickly forming inside her head.

Finally, on Clarke's bed, the girls couldn't care less about the movie playing on the laptop as they were too engrossed into making out.

Lexa felt her whole body react to Clarke's little gasp against her lips when the brunette slid her hand under her shirt to stroke the soft, warm skin of the blonde's stomach.

Clarke's blue eyes were fixed on her with such intensity that Lexa trapped her lips once more, in a heated kiss.

Maybe they should stop. Since Clarke's parents were downstairs and they didn't know about them yet and...

"Lexa" Clarke gasped agitated. Her blue eyes completely hooded.

The brunette rolled off from Clarke's inviting body and into her back. She took a deep breath licking her lips "Sorry" she offered honestly.

Clarke rolled to her side and propped up herself over her elbow looking down at the brunette.

"Don't be" she whispered gently while running her fingers along Lexa's jaw "It was good" she ended with a tiny smile.

The brunette chuckled and rubbed her face with her hands.

"We haven't talk about... _this_ yet" Clarke bit her lip unsure.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Clarke" Lexa immediately turned to her side too. A concerned frown adorning her beautiful face "I shouldn't...I..."

"I told you don't worry, okay?" the blonde said softly "You're not the only one...I mean..." she bit her lip again "I want it too"

Lexa closed her eyes briefly "But I don't want you to feel pressured or--"

Clarke cut the rambling with a tender kiss "I don't"

Lexa sighed and wrapped her arm around the blonde, pulling her closer until their noses touched. Clarke smiled and traced the brunette's eyebrow before brushing her thumb over her cheek.

"Is just..." Clarke began "I've never...with a girl, you know"

Lexa rubbed soothing circles over the blonde's back with her thumb "I know"

Clarke sighed and licked her lips "I want this to be perfect. Because I..." she blushed and stopped suddenly.

Lexa smiled brightly and nuzzled the blonde's nose tenderly before pressing her lips to hers in a soft, reassuring kiss.

"It will be perfect because it's us, Clarke" Lexa continued "Because it's you. And well...I...too" her cheeks and ears turned pink.

Clarke smiled happily and ran her finger over the tiny ear teasingly. Lexa squirmed and protested with a pout.

They met in the middle for a loving kiss. Clarke ended on top of Lexa. Their legs entangled, Clarke's thumbs brushing the brunette's cheeks and Lexa's arms around the blonde as the kiss continued.

When Clarke pulled back to look at Lexa she had her full lips parted and her face flushed. Her green eyes looking back at her with so many things written in them.

"I love you" the blonde whispered against the brunette's lips "I want it to be perfect because I love you, Lexa"

Lexa smirked and moved a hand from Clarke's waist to put her short blonde hair behind her ear gently. Then rubbed her thumb over her jawline and then over her chin, before kissing that cute dimple sweetly.

"I love you too, Clarke"

The blonde smiled and buried her fingers into the brunette's long silky hair, before leaning down for another kiss.

"I was thinking maybe we could rescue the karaoke nights" Clarke said suddenly, pulling back from the kiss.

Lexa frowned confused "Uh?"

Clarke giggled and trapped the brunette's lips once more.

 

~~~

 

Going back to class was part exciting and part exhausting. Lexa gazed at Clarke talking animately with Raven a couple of tables from her. The brunette smirked still admiring her girlfriend. Best friend and girlfriend. Probably the best combo in history.

It was her birthday, her 18th birthday. And to be quite honest she just wanted to cuddle with Clarke on the couch and watch a movie while eating popcorn. But she knew the blonde and their families too well to know a party was ready for that night.

At lunch Raven and Clarke continued to whisper between them. Lexa raised an eyebrow while drinking from her brick of milk.

"What are two planning?" she asked narrowing her green eyes at both girls.

Raven chuckled and Clarke smiled shaking her head "You don't want to know, right?" the blonde asked.

Lexa rolled her eyes "I know it has to be with my birthday. Come on, it's pretty obvious"

"Oh, it's your birthday, Woods?" Raven gasped exaggeratedly "I didn't know"

Lexa rolled her eyes again "I told you I don't need a gift or a party" she focused on Clarke "It's fine"

The blonde huffed "You're 18 and you deserve it"

"But--"

"No buts" Clarke said with a smirk.

Raven whistled by the blonde's side "She has you wrapped around her finger, Woods"

Lexa rolled her eyes again. This time with a growl. She rested her back against the chair and crossed her arms.

Clarke and Raven picked up their books and the blonde went to Lexa's side. She lifted the brunette's chin and kissed the corner of her lips sweetly.

No one, apart from Raven, knew they were together like that. So they still were keeping it under the radar.

Lexa couldn't help but to smile a little at the blonde. Clarke winked at her before leaving with Raven, and Lexa followed with her eyes.

 

~~~

 

"Is Lexa as good in bed as she looks?" Raven asked distractedly as she helped Clarke with the decoration on the Woods' house.

The blonde scowled at her friend and blushed a little "You're terrible, you know that?"

"You've been fooling around for more than a week now" Raven shrugged.

"We're not fooling around" Clarke replied seriously.

Raven rolled her eyes "I know, I know. You two are living the gay fairytale. I just like teasing you"

Clarke grunted and continued with the decoration.

"We haven't..." Clarke finally trailed off after a couple of minutes of silence "Yet"

Raven raised an eyebrow and then smiled satisfied "Are you going to her your V-card? That's sweet"

Clarke frowned "What? I'm not a virgin"

"You're not?" Raven asked surprised.

Clarke rolled her eyes "I've never been with a girl before, that's all"

"So you're giving her your shappic V-card, then" Raven said too pleased with herself.

Clarke sighed and shook her head "It's impossible to talk with you"

Raven left what she was doing and walked to her friend. She put a gentle hand over the blonde's shoulder "Look. I understand, ok? You're nervous and maybe kinda unsure. It's normal"

Clarke nodded and bit her lower lip.

"But...you love her, right?" Raven asked honestly.

Clarke nodded again. A smile forming on her lips before she could prevent it.

"Then that's all that matters" Raven stated "Now let's go back to work. Your girlfriend must be heading home after the training"

Clarke smirked "Raven?" she called her friend's attention "Thank you"

Raven chuckled "Anytime"

 

~~~

 

The moment Lexa stepped inside her house people jumped out from everywhere yelling _Surprise!_

The brunette shook her head and looked at Clarke, who ran to her and jumped into her arms.

"Happy birthday, Lexa" she whispered into the brunette's ear.

Lexa hugged the blonde in her arms more tightly and kissed her cheek briefly "I love you" she whispered back.

The big smile Clarke gave to her was better than any present.

After changing from her soccer clothes to something more festive and appropriate, Lexa ate cake with her family and friends. 

Anya put a party hat over her head and kissed her cheek softly. Lexa accused her to getting too soft and her sister responded by hiting her on the arm with the fist.

Clarke excused herself and Lexa began to talk with some friends on the living room. All of sudden the lights went off and Gustus's voice rumbled across the the house.

Lexa frowned confused and startled. She finally found her uncle on the corner of the room speaking through a microphone.

After saying how proud he was of her and how much he loved her, he smiled and looked at his right briefly "Happy birthday, Lexa. Enjoy this especial gift" he ended before pressing a button that filled the room with music.

The lights came back and Lexa saw Clarke on the same spot Gustus was standing a minute before. She had the microphone on her hand.

"Oh no" Lexa breathed out. Feeling her cheeks burning.

_Kiss me quick, while we still have this feeling  
Hold me close and never let me go_

Clarke began to sing and Lexa covered her face with a hand.

_'Cause tomorrows can be so uncertain  
Love can fly and leave just hurting_

Clarke walked to the brunette with a knowing smile on her face. She pointed at her and winked. Lexa gulped and licked her lips.

_Kiss me quick because I love you so_

Lexa's cheeks and ears covered in a shade of pink and she glanced around seeing everybody smiling and cheering. Her team mates were teasing her and tapping her back.

 _Kiss me quick and make my heart go crazy_  
_Sigh that sigh and whisper oh-so low_  
_Tell me that tonight will last forever_  
_Say that you will leave me never_

Lexa smirked shyly and scratched her neck. Clarke smiled again and grabbed her hand.

 _Kiss me quick because I love you so_  
_Let the band keep playing while we are swaying_  
_Let's keep on praying that we'll never stop_

They laced their fingers together and Lexa gulped again.

 _Kiss me quick, just can't stand this waiting_  
_'Cause your lips are lips I long to know_  
_Oh, that kiss will open heaven's door_  
_And we'll stay there forevermore_  
_Kiss me quick because I love you so_

The applauses and cheers were thunderous and Clarke moved closer to whisper something into the brunette's ear.

"I'm gonna kiss you now, okay?" 

Lexa swallowed and nodded. At that Clarke smiled and cupped the brunette's cheek with her hand, before grabbing the back of her neck, pulling her in for a sweet kiss.

Lexa melted into the kiss, even when some audible shocked gasps reached her ears. She rested her hands on Clarke's hips, trying hard not to pull her closer and envelop her with her arms.

The applauses ceased completely and the silence fell upon the living room.

When they pulled back from the kiss, Lexa stared at Clarke and the blonde smirked softly at her. That gave her more bravery.

Someone clearing his throat loudly make them to turn their gazes to their families.

Gustus raised an eyebrow and declared "Kitchen. Now"

 

~~~

 

Clarke glanced at Lexa sitting by her side. She was bouncing her legs nervously and chewing her lower lip.

The blonde looked at their laced hands and felt a little better. She knew Lexa was dreading this, but she was also glad she was there with her and holding her hand.

Gustus, Jake and Abby where there, looking at them seriously. Anya was sitting over the counter, drinking quietly from her glass. It was obvious she couldn't care less, but she was there to enjoy watching her little sister squirm.

"So" Gustus began "What's going on?"

Clarke lowered her gaze "I thought we made that pretty obvious out there"

"Young lady" Abby warned.

"Look I..." Lexa started before clearing her throat "I know this is...hmm...surprising, but..." she gazed at Clarke, who smiled softly at her her. The brunette held her hand more tightly and faced their families "This is it. We're in love"

Clarke felt the need to burst into tears hearing it from the brunette's lips for the first time.

In love. Yep. Utterly and completely in love.

"So this is serious?" Jake intervened.

Clarke looked at her father "Yes, dad. 100% serious"

Lexa swallowed and Clarke tugged at her hand a little. Making those green eyes to focus on her. The blonde wanted to comfort her and reassure her more than anything.

"I hope you two know what you're doing, because if not then--"

"I love Lexa and she loves me, mom" Clarke cut her mother "We know what we're doing. We know how we're feeling. We're not kids anymore, don't treat us as such" there was a small offense in her tone.

"Okay" Abby raised her hands "I just want to make sure you two know what this mean"

"We know, Abby" Lexa added and Clarke turned her blue eyes to her. Her gaze immediately softening "I...I think..." Lexa gulped and the blonde brushed her thumb over the brunette's knuckles "I think I've been in love with Clarke since I was 13"

Clarke felt her eyes growing watery at the confesion. In those days she was crazy about Finn Collins and only had eyes for him. A deep stab of pain and regret hit her heart. Because she made Lexa suffer, even if it was unconsciously.

"But well..." Lexa shrugged with a sad smirk "She didn't see me like that back then"

Clarke sniffled and that made Lexa to look at her. The brunette frowned and got closer.

"Are you crying?" Lexa asked concerned "Don't please" she brushed the blonde's tears away with her thumbs "I'm sorry, Clarke. I didn't mean--"

"I'm sorry" Clarke whispered shakingly "I'm sorry, Lexa. For being so blind, for being so stupid"

Lexa shook her head. Her green eyes growing watery too "You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't feel the same way back then, it's fine. It's okay" she smiled emotionally and Clarke covered the hands on her cheeks with hers.

"I love you" Clarke said honestly "I've been in love with you since before you met Costia. _God,_ I hated her"

Lexa chuckled and Clarke smiled at her.

They were so lost in the moment that forgot their families were still there.

Jake sighed loudly and nodded "It's okay, girls"

Clarke dried the last tears on her eyes and eyed her father hopefully.

"We just want you to be happy" Abby explained.

"We are" Lexa replied quickly.

"We truly are" Clarke added with a gentle smile.

"But you both need to understand you two can't go around doing whatever you want. Some rules still apply" Gustus arched an eyebrow to the girls.

"You mean the sleepovers are cancelled? Yeah I figured that much" Lexa said "And I'm a legal adult now. In case you forgot it"

Gustus pointed at her niece "Still...the rules are sacred"

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Gustus here" Abby sighed.

Clarke rolled her eyes amused and Lexa pouted.

"So" Jake clapped "We still have a birthday party out there"

When Clarke and Lexa were ready to go back to the party, Jake stepped in front of them and narrowed his blue eyes at Lexa.

"I think I don't need to tell you what will happen if you hurt my daughter, right?" he said coolly.

Lexa was taken aback and gulped soundly "I...I...Jake...I'll never..."

"Dad!" Clarke protested and Abby hit her husband on the back.

Jake broke into laughter and wrapped his arm around Lexa's shoulders, bringing her closer and kissing her temple "I'm sorry, Lexa. But it was too easy" he chuckled "I told you she would realize, didn't I?" he winked at the brunette.

Lexa smiled kindly at the man who was like a father to her.

Anya rolled her eyes "Cut the corny feast. We have a party to enjoy" 

Clarke tugged at Lexa's hand, turning the brunette's attention to her "What did he told you?" she asked refering to her father.

Lexa smirked "That I'm her favorite" she winked.

Clarke snorted and Lexa trapped her lips in a sweet kiss.

 

~~~

 

Lexa spotted Clarke sitting on the grades. They shared a quick smile and Clarke waved her hand at the brunette before Lexa joined the rest of the team for the training.

In the last days they had been literally glued to each other. And Lexa loved the little tradition of having Clarke on the trainings and then leaving with her.

Dating Clarke was a dream come true, but also incredibly overwhelming (in the good sense)

She spent the nights thinking about her and dreaming about falling asleep by her side. The days were the same, but also involved lots of kissing and roaming hands.

Lexa walked to Clarke after showering. Her hair was still slightly wet and she was carrying her sports bag over her shoulder. Clarke stood from the benches to greet her.

Lexa smiled and the blonde smiled back. The brunette rested her hands on Clarke's hips and the blonde soon encircled her neck with her arms. When their lips made contact Lexa felt an electric surge traveling along her body in the most pleasant way.

Clarke rested her forehead against hers and bit her lower lip "So what are the plans for tonight?"

In the last couple of nights they had a movie marathon. Which was nothing but a excuse to make out with the movie playing playing in the background.

But that night Lexa had a special plan. A very especial plan.

The brunette smirked and kissed the blonde's nose sweetly "What would you say if I tell you I want to take you to the stars?"

Clarke arched an eyebrow with a little smile and traced the brunette's eyebrow with her forefinger "Sounds beautiful"

Lexa couldn't help it and leaned to the blonde's lips " _You_ are beautiful"

Clarke's smile was so luminous and pretty that Lexa wanted nothing more than tasted it. 

So she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Visit me at https://imtrikru.tumblr.com/ and ask me anything, and read my headcanons or silly ideas.
> 
> Please ignore the "Should I continue" note. Is only there because I have no idea how to get rid of it :P

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think. Should I continue?


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